AIBU to not meet up with obnoxious relatives who ask insensitive questions?

34 replies

annoyingunclesdrama · 03/08/2026 10:57

I'm currently visiting family abroead with my DS who's 6. I have many relatives here but one set of uncle and auntie who are frankly obnoxious yet my parents always insist we should meet up with them despite them- and their children, so my cousins- being really rude to me, keep asking me when I'll have another child (very painful for me as I always wanted more than one but couldn't due to infertility) they have now arranged for me and my son to meet them at a village fete tomorrow and I'm absolutely dreading it. They're those kind of people who totally drain you, and I am afraid they'll ask about my family size again and me having to hold back tears. If I refuse to go there'll be drama. AIBU to duck out of it even if I'd only have to meet them for a few hours? Or shall I suck it up and just go to keep the peace?

OP posts:

TheyGrewUp · 03/08/2026 11:04

Could you be quite deadpan with them. "There won't be another baby. I have seripis fertility issues and have had a variety of invasive tests, involving my cervix, fallopian tubes and vagina. Would you like the exact details about how many people have had a look and a prod and with what instruments?". I find this all distressing and your constant questions don't help me come to terms with it.

Cherrysoup · 03/08/2026 11:02

But you just decide you don’t want to go. Why are others organising your outings? If it were me, I’d tell them to stop asking, it’s personal, how bloody rude are you, why do you keep asking, what has it got to do with you how much sex I’m having with my Dh etc, but I don’t take shit from others.

FlowersInPots · 03/08/2026 11:02

Option 1 - “you’ve asked that before. Stop asking”
Be As rude and as obnoxious as they are.

Option 2: You feel ill and couldn’t possibly attend

Option 3: Go, repeat past experiences and waste a day feeling upset.

Personally, I’d do option 1 in tbe hope it knocks it all on the head but am aware some family dynamics etc make this difficult

Cuppachuchu · 03/08/2026 11:02

Don't go. You are an adult and can make your own choices. You don't have to do stuff you don't want to do. Let other people be aggrieved/ upset. They will get over it.
Look after your own feelings as your family clearly aren't.

LimpRat · 03/08/2026 11:01

Go, and if they start, tell them directly that they are rude and should keep their fucking awful questions to themselves like normal adults do. Literally practise saying it beforehand.

If they don't react well, walk away from them. There and then. This is your life too and your feelings matter, you don't have to keep up appearances for anybody, especially for people who know these folk treat you like shit and never challenge it, and ignore your feelings. Be your own ungovernable and strong self, who doesn't need to explain anything 💪 (ps. It's also good for your child to see you assertively deal with such people, family or not, they don't get to tread on your feelings ever again, if you decide so)

Pinkchickenwine · 03/08/2026 11:00

I hope you recover from your infectious tummy bug soon OP. 💐

Bonkers1966 · 03/08/2026 11:00

Assuming you are an adult and nobody has any hold over you then do what is best for you. No is a complete sentence.

Buzzer3555 · 03/08/2026 10:59

I'd make a excuse not to go. Life is too short to spend time with horrible people.

PrayForPlagues · 03/08/2026 10:58

Oh no, it’s such a shame you’re going to be ill that day ☹️😉

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