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Original poster

How do you handle new gifts and hand me downs when you have two young DC of the same gender?

84 replies

Peterrabbity · 03/08/2026 10:43

I have DD1 and DDnearly4.

My eldest DD has EVERYTHING. She was the first grandchild on both sides and has practically every toy imaginable. We are a family that likes to go ‘all out’ on birthdays and Christmas too.

How do you handle new gifts and hand me downs in your family? We have a big playroom so all of our toys live in there. DD1 has become interested in babies and pushchairs recently and there’s been a few arguments about our 1 toy pushchair so I’ve been thinking about buying DD1 her own. However the one we’ve got is perfect for DD1, and it would probably be better to buy DD4 her own bigger pushchair. But I find this happens a lot, but it seems unfair that it’s always eldest DD who gets everything new whilst DD1 just has to share DD4’s stuff or have the stuff she’s outgrown.

I’ve started thinking ahead for Christmas, and cannot think of a single thing that DD1 needs as she has everything that DD4 has outgrown. Where as I have a really long list of things for DD4.

How does this work in your family?

OP posts:
villadicance · 03/08/2026 11:06

I remember thinking this at a similar age but over time it worked itself out because the kids got different interests right around the time when they started noticing.

My older son for example likes non fiction more than fiction, so there are always more fiction books that I can get my younger one.

Older one never got into Lego, so we didn't have much and now buy it for the younger one.

LadyInRainbow · 03/08/2026 11:06

Could you start to put things away and then gift them to dd1 for birthday and Christmas. After years of working in childcare “less is more” is really true the less they have out the better they play anyway and after things have been away for a few months even dd4 won’t remember them when dd2 gets them.

MidnightPatrol · 03/08/2026 11:04

For at least the next few years, can you ‘rotate’ ie put away toys belonging to the eldest, and then they can reappear at Xmas etc for the youngest?

At 1 they won’t care.

Original poster
Peterrabbity · 03/08/2026 11:02

Luckypoppy · 03/08/2026 10:59

My sister and I hated the same thing different colour presents. We both liked the same colour so one of us would always be disappointed.

Show quote history

It also appears that both of my girls favourite colour is pink…

OP posts:
Original poster
Peterrabbity · 03/08/2026 11:01

parietal · 03/08/2026 10:55

This is where it is good to encourage different interests in the kids, or to buy things in pairs. So at Christmas, my DDs (3 year age gap) would each get an umbrella (one red, one blue) from auntie and a backpack (one red, one blue) from grandma etc.

Also younger DD rapidly developed a strong interest in animals, so she would get lots of animal-related toys / books while older DD got into lego.

And finally, get less toys overall for Christmases and Birthdays. no need to overwhelm the kids with every possible toy in the world.

Yes, I like the pairs thing.

However we have so much stuff already that it’s impossible to buy DD1 much. We already have happyland, duplo, Barbies, gabbys dollhouse, dressing up costumes, toy kitchen and a tonne of accessories, garden toys, dolls and accessories, peppa pig and bluey little world sets, magnetic tiles, arts and crafts, a bike, scooters, ride on toys, , an easel, playdoh and accessories, multiple puzzles etc. I cannot think of a single thing that we don’t have that I could buy new for DD1 🙈.

OP posts:
Luckypoppy · 03/08/2026 10:59

parietal · 03/08/2026 10:55

This is where it is good to encourage different interests in the kids, or to buy things in pairs. So at Christmas, my DDs (3 year age gap) would each get an umbrella (one red, one blue) from auntie and a backpack (one red, one blue) from grandma etc.

Also younger DD rapidly developed a strong interest in animals, so she would get lots of animal-related toys / books while older DD got into lego.

And finally, get less toys overall for Christmases and Birthdays. no need to overwhelm the kids with every possible toy in the world.

My sister and I hated the same thing different colour presents. We both liked the same colour so one of us would always be disappointed.

parietal · 03/08/2026 10:55

This is where it is good to encourage different interests in the kids, or to buy things in pairs. So at Christmas, my DDs (3 year age gap) would each get an umbrella (one red, one blue) from auntie and a backpack (one red, one blue) from grandma etc.

Also younger DD rapidly developed a strong interest in animals, so she would get lots of animal-related toys / books while older DD got into lego.

And finally, get less toys overall for Christmases and Birthdays. no need to overwhelm the kids with every possible toy in the world.

Original poster
Peterrabbity · 03/08/2026 10:49

Yellowingtrees · 03/08/2026 10:48

It’s easy at 1! Kids won’t mind. It’s harder when they are older. Im finding some particular difficulties over bicycles - given as a gift to eldest, used by younger sibs, now to be sold. Whose money? And, if a gift, are they required to pass it on?

Yes it’s fine at this age really. DD1 doesn’t understand. But my eldest DD would have definitely understood by 3. So just mulling it over for when the issues to start to arise!

OP posts:
Yellowingtrees · 03/08/2026 10:48

It’s easy at 1! Kids won’t mind. It’s harder when they are older. Im finding some particular difficulties over bicycles - given as a gift to eldest, used by younger sibs, now to be sold. Whose money? And, if a gift, are they required to pass it on?