How do you handle new gifts and hand me downs when you have two young DC of the same gender?

1 year olds don't care?

That’s easy. The money belongs to the child the item was first given to. I sold a load of playmobil, transformers etc. I knew which DS got which playmobil set originally and the ebay receipts went to that DS. If DS2 was bought an item that went with a set inherited from DS1, I did a rough calculation and gave DS2 some of the money.

In terms of gifting, I agree it is tricky. I’m the elder one and I see if differently to you. Gifts to me ended up later with DB - but he also got his own gifts as well.

I would make sure that as your youngest gets older she does have some new things to open, but to be honest I’d start reducing the toy mountain and try to get more ££ saved for them which will be far more useful to them in the future.

If you want to buy new for DD2 then add to what you already have. She likes magnatiles - get an expansion kit, or a different colour. She likes the doll, maybe an outfit for it or a crib. To be honest though I think you’re wasting your money while she’s young, she doesn’t know or care if it’s brand spanking new! She doesn’t care if it’s secondhand. It’ll even itself out later as they get older and have different interests.

When they were younger I didn’t get my second or third children big gifts as presents, as they had the hand me down of all the big toys (trikes, sand pits, mud kitchen). Instead we did lots of playdough, art sets, days trips, newest model of dinosaurs, new costumes. Fortunately as they grew up they have completely different interests and joint interests I get as Christmas presents where possible (so their PS5 was a joint present at Christmas but they all got individual games)

I don't understand your reasoning here. If they both like playing with pushchairs, then what's the problem with having two?
Another thing that might help is just stop buying so much "stuff". Do they really play with everything?

I have 3 children and although they share we just bought new. At one point we had a switch and 3 switch lites. It isn’t ideal but they like to have new and why should t they just because they weren’t first? We always found taking them to a big toy shop and letting them pick helped them choose.

I think by about age 2 my youngest had started to like different things from the older one, youngest got really into Happyland figures and baby dolls. So their interests diverged and they started to get different things, it just organically worked itself out.

They have to share. On this occasion I would buy DD2 her own pram to play with, something cheap.

I have 2 boys 18months apart and ever since they were little anytime they've been gifted anything or we've bought them something they've always shared. They are now 10 and 12. Share a room, share clothes and share all their toys never been an issue. Even have a joint piggy bank where they put all their money in and recently bought themselves a switch together. Same policy applies to my girls, they've always happily shared now 5 and 7 and also share clothes, teddies, barbies etc. You could buy your 4 year old things and tell them its for both of them as essentially it is and they'll both play with it.

My 1 year old doesn’t really have any stuff, he just uses his 4 year old sister’s toys (and sometimes her clothes even). Neither of them are old enough to know about private property rights.

In your opinion 🤷‍♀️

Ffs - only buying new things for each child is ridiculously wasteful

I had 3 girls close in age - they still got their own christmas and birthday presents, but the other toys stayed around and were played with by all of them. We just had a ridiculous amount of lego by the time they grew older. I don't remember buying new bikes for any of them, but they did get their own scooters as those wore out.

Further down the line they got joint presents - so the toy kitchen for example was for all of them, so was the trampoline, and games that they played with. Clothes wise, they all wore the eldest's clothes.

It depends. If they’re good enough to sell on (and they usually are because they look after them very well) then I’ll sell them, otherwise I’ll bin them.

Well it depends on what happens to the old ones.

{mention:Mooselander}{mention:Mooselander}{mention:Mooselander}what@Mooselanderwhat do you do with older child's toys when they don't want them?

Buy dd1 her own doll and her own pram / pushchair. If dd4 wants a larger pushchair, get her one and keep her old one as a spare.
Stickel bricks, lego etc, you can always but more because you must build bigger stuff, but a themes one so she knows it's hers.
If dd4 has a ride on and she's using it, get dd1 her own. If dd4 is too small for hers, take it away now and say she can have a new one xmas then store it and jazz it up for dd1.

The petticoat is dd4 has been spoilt for toys, so see it now as a time to buy less, clear out stuff that isn't used.

Sure it is 🤣

When I was young, there was nothing I liked more than our older cousins coming to viist as it meant we got their hand-me-downs. Second hand needn't be a problem unless you make it one.

And this is why the planet is suffering…

DD1 won’t mind used things at this age. As you’ve a large space and lots of toys, look into how an early years classroom is set up and look for gaps. Have you construction, craft etc. And good child-managed storage for each. It’s not essential of course, but will teach your girls good play etiquette and ensure they’re not overwhelmed with choice.

For what it’s worth, my recommendation of the best toy ever for my children (possibly apart from large outdoor trampoline) is large hollow blocks. Block play has begun so many imaginative, collaborative games. If you have space and money, they are excellent!

https://www.communityplaythings.co.uk/products/play/block-play/hollow-blocks/half-preschool-set-hollow-blocks

My ex's two boys were only 2 years apart, so everyone bought them both exactly the same. It became very obvious that that reason was the youngest would create merry hell, if he wasn't given exactly the same as his older brother. Instead everyone pandered to the youngest. The eldest ended up having nothing of his own, because his brother always had to have the same. It seemed to make no difference if the toy given to the youngest was suitable or not, because the eldest had it, then so did the youngest.

I felt sorry for the eldest, as he lived in his younger brother's shadow. Never being allowed to have anything different....clothes, toys, shoes etc, all the same. Even the same bedtime!!

Be careful how you navigate the situation. Both children should be encouraged to develop their own interests, and personalities. Also both children should have new items. There's no reason why your eldest can't have second hand clothing from somewhere like Vinted or from older cousins/friends children. Don't buy everything new for your eldest, and hand it all down to your youngest. At 1, your youngest won't understand but as she becomes older she will.

Also, its not all bad being the youngest and getting the hand me downs.

As long they get some new stuff that they really want at Christmas/Birthdays, any hand me downs are made up for because they get way more toys to play with overall than the older ones will have had.

I really wouldn't worry about it until they're much older anyway though. Most kids really don't care about new vs second hand until they are at least school age.

Sounds like buying less stuff all around might be helpful going forwards.

If you don't over buy your oldest then there will be more options for things to buy your youngest in the future.

This is genius!