Child maintenance are reducing his payments for travel even though I travel further

I think you are an amazing mum , to do all this for your child.
You Son will appreciate this when he is older.
CMS rules are ridiculous, & don’t seem to take the child’s needs at any point in the process.

You mentioned that you and ds and dh all agreed together that ds should attend this club. So it does seem rich that your ex is now asking for cms cost reduction
Is your ex broke?

And how much is CMS suggesting it reduce by? Can’t be much if one 90 minute car journey a month

I would hazard a guess he pays for the weekend activity on top of cms

Is he planning on going pro with this hobby??

how old is your son?

@looellen i imagine the reduction is a few pounds?

Is ex paying for the club in addition to cms?

So why does he need to attend one so far away on top of this?
And why do you need to facilitate it?

If he wants to attend one on his dad’s time, that’s fine but it’s for his dad to facilitate it.
Just like when he attends 5 times a week it is on you to get him there and back.

Although his dad sounds like a massive knob, you have encouraged your son to attend something knowing that it’s going to be a 10 hour round trip and an overnight stay in a hotel - I’m not really sure how that is your ex’s fault.

Your son needs to find a hobby that he can do whilst he’s at his dad’s that doesn’t involve huge round trips or overnight stays.
Or the dad needs to take him to it.

Can your son not get a coach or train after school on a Friday?

Pisstake they’d reduce CM for this. I can imagine lots of deadbeats deliberately moving miles away in order to reduce their measly payments more.

But what has this got to do with you? Why do you have your attend???

CMS doesn’t take any costs for the OP into account in any calculation.

He pays a set percentage of his income regardless of what the OP spends on necessities.

For CMS travel to see the child is one of very few reductions they’ll make, and they won’t take any costs for the OP into account as they only calculate based on the payers income.

not sure what you need to fill in as your costs that he pays a percentage of or what so this could be nonsense, but could you list your housing costs to include the hotel
you stay in (receipted so it’s proven) and explain your housing costs have increased purely to take your son to the activity? that way if his dad still pays a percentage of whatever it would be more? could you include petrol and food re said activity? be creative while still staying within the rules?

CMS has to be black and white unfortunately.
You could always go back to court to request half of all extra curricular costs?

It's shit.

Cutting his CMS payments because he has travel costs to see his own child that he willingly and happily moved far away from doesn't mean the primary parent's housing/food/clothing/etc costs magically decrease.

Honestly. You couldn't make it up in this country sometimes.

Just know that you are doing what’s best for your son and your ex is doing what’s best for your ex.

I get what you’re saying but it ultimately makes his dads life much easier rather than it does your sons.

One closer to home would have meant him making friends nearer and being able to see them more and attend it more etc.

I think for the sake of a week or 2 in the holidays, it would have made much more sense and been better for your son to attend one closer to home.

Obviously now it’s more tricky because he’s already made friends there.

Agree. For the sake for £20/30 he’s not doing what’s best for his DS.

If he’s claiming travel costs he should be getting up at 4am to down round trip to get his DS to the sports centre at 11am.

I’ve just always been of the mindset you cannot control someone’s actions - just your reaction to it.

I don’t get o to tit for tat arguments or fight people trying to fight me. It’s just my way. I grey rock and do what’s best for my situation and if anyone asks why I’m doing what I do I seek to rectify through the correct channels.

In this instance I’d ask for a variation to the court order. Either change contact to attend a centre nearer home and then go to dads who can claim his travel costs or seek to get the court order changed to get the costs covered by NRP. I would explain why ds attends that centre and explain I've facilitated it because of where his dad lives but his dad isnt facilitating attendance.

But we are all different and I think having had to manage a kid at a high level sport alone for many years I just get on with it because I know for him it’s the right thing.

This is ridiculous!

He CHOSE to move away from his child and yet you/his son are penalised financially because of it (as well as not being able to see him as much).

Honestly I don’t know why you chose a sports venue closer to him and to make his life easier when he chose to move so far away from his own child.

I think it’s awful that he has gone to CMS to reduce his payments when you have gone out of your way to make his life easier.

Is there another venue closer to home?

I think its absolutely disgusting that a man can move away and then CMS take money away from the child to pay for the father to come and visit them. How can that ever be fair? Why should a child essentially pay to see their own parent?

CMS are shit and not fit for purpose. Your ex is the issue here as he has asked for a reduction. They protect shitty fathers and allow men to pay bare minimum while mothers shoulder the actual burden so am I surprised by their decision? Not at all. I would say this is on him more than anyone as he’s the crap dad who has asked for a reduction