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Unnecessary comment about my outfit from male member of staff at the school - your thoughts?

279 replies

TwatAtSchool91 · 02/08/2026 21:49

I live a stones throw from a secondary school which I have to pass daily on our school run.

A male member of staff stands outside in the morning greeting the kids.

A few months ago he made a comment to me as I walked past him. It was a stupid remark, nothing vulgar or massively offensive, but it has bothered me to the extent I'm now self conscious about what I'm wearing whenever I have to go past him.

The comment he made was "morning Blade" in a mocking tone, both infront of the secondary school kids and my own.

(for reference I was wearing a belted leather trench coat and some black riding style boots)

It wasn't a friendly jibe, he was being a twat. I wouldn't give it much thought if he were a random in the street but he's stood there representing the school 😐

Would you have raised it with the school or not? Do you think it was inappropriate?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Sereine · 03/08/2026 08:46

GreenNewDealNow · 02/08/2026 22:16

I'm surprised by a lot of these comments saying it's no big deal. He mocked a female stranger in front of children and his place of employment. That's really weird, nasty and immature! I would be tempted to put a complaint in but I would also be wary of repercussions from him if I had to keep walking past him.

How was it mocking OP? It was simply saying she was wearing something which made her look like a film character. OP would simply look ridiculous if she entered a formal complaint.

Goldielocks2p22 · 03/08/2026 08:40

I think the problem is that banter is subjective, and a lot of people don’t realise that someone needs to know you to understand your tone and whether you’re joking. I see far too many people, mainly men, trying to be funny with complete strangers without considering how it might come across. I’d probably let this one go over your head, but if he does it again, tell him directly to pack it in before making a complaint to the school. I do agree that it was very unprofessional when he was standing there representing them.

CoffeeCantata · 03/08/2026 08:31

I don't think that was too bad - it wasn't a sexual remark or an insulting one - just a silly one. I'd let it go but if you're really bothered, say something to him.

I had a similar get-up (black belted trench and black boots) once and my teenage daughter told me I looked like the Gestapo.

It really spoiled my day and I never word that combo again!

Snufkin88 · 03/08/2026 08:22

I agree it’s a bit inappropriate I don’t think a teacher should be setting this sort of example to kids because it is just rude to comment on someone’s outfit like that . Don’t think I’d bother reporting it personally but that’s just me

Lentilcakes · 03/08/2026 08:19

LuckyHazelFox · 03/08/2026 08:17

She's done a runner - blade runner.

😂

Lentilcakes · 03/08/2026 08:19

Don’t see a major issue (had to look at the photo). But if a daft comment but not sexist,racist, homophobic so I’d leave it.
This was a few months ago then really you need to let it go and get on with your life.

Paganpentacle · 03/08/2026 08:18

LuckyHazelFox · 03/08/2026 08:17

She's done a runner - blade runner.

😂

LuckyHazelFox · 03/08/2026 08:17

Lifestooshort71 · 03/08/2026 08:11

Well, OP didn't bother to stay up and respond, just chucked the pebble in the mill pond and left it....had a boring weekend possibly?

She's done a runner - blade runner.

Paganpentacle · 03/08/2026 08:14

Lighten up FFS.

Lifestooshort71 · 03/08/2026 08:11

Well, OP didn't bother to stay up and respond, just chucked the pebble in the mill pond and left it....had a boring weekend possibly?

DenizenOfAisleOfShame · 03/08/2026 08:08

babycomeover · 03/08/2026 07:48

The best part is this happened months ago and OP is still thinking about it

Yes, but in the meantime she’s put the time to good use.

She’s done the school run dressed as Selene, Elastigirl, Wonder Woman, Jean Grey and Scarlet Witch.

LuckyHazelFox · 03/08/2026 08:07

localnotail · 03/08/2026 08:05

at least I dont walk around dressed as Blade.

😆 🤣

localnotail · 03/08/2026 08:05

CedarFlag · 03/08/2026 07:56

And you are unreasonable for not reading the post properly and making snarky comments about the weather. 🤷🏼‍♀️

at least I dont walk around dressed as Blade.

LuckyHazelFox · 03/08/2026 08:04

Morepositivemum · 03/08/2026 08:01

Ps a woman would definitely make a joke at how a man dressed if he was dressed in her opinion like a character- ridiculous this is being called as a man vs woman thing!!!

The unusual crush thread was a right laugh. Women showing they can dish it back out to the men and pisstake about looks. Refreshing.

LondonLass2026 · 03/08/2026 08:04

CedarFlag · 03/08/2026 07:58

What a depressing read this thread is. We have a long way to go before making things better for the new generations of women.

He literally said "morning Blade" because she was in a leather trench coat. He didn't call her anything offensive at all. It's such a nothing comment.

Papster · 03/08/2026 08:03

You poor thing
You must absolutely raise this with the school
There should be an enquiry, he should be reprimanded and it should go on his record.
This is unlikely to be an isolated incident and it’s quite likely other victims of abusive filmic references will come forward

HumberSquid · 03/08/2026 08:03

CedarFlag · 03/08/2026 07:55

I care. And it doesn’t happen. Because it’s men doing it to women and not other men.

And obviously, this instance is relatively trivial. At one end you have men abusing women. In the middle you have the catcalling and wolf-whistling which most decent people would agree is demeaning and a show of powerplay. Although there are plenty of women on MN I know who think it’s funny and a compliment. And then at the much milder end is this ‘joke’ incident. But it all comes from the same place, a misogynistic desire for men to humiliate women, whether the men acknowledge it or not.

55-year-old me couldn’t give a shit about this stuff. I would either ignore or challenge it robustly. But 18-year-old or even 22 year-old me could have felt embarrassed and humiliated by somebody saying this.

I think we should have zero tolerance to men doing this stuff to women. And it’s always women.

It's not always women. Ds2 was sporting a trench coat and on the train last spring (part of a show costume) and got various comments over the course of the week (Inspector Gadget was my favourite). He's also had comments about eye makeup when he's not had a chance to clean that off. He didnt particularly love it but neither did he contact the British Transport Police.

CedarFlag · 03/08/2026 08:03

Morepositivemum · 03/08/2026 08:01

Ps a woman would definitely make a joke at how a man dressed if he was dressed in her opinion like a character- ridiculous this is being called as a man vs woman thing!!!

Can you imagine a woman teacher shouting this out at a strange man whilst at work? How often do you see women telling strange men to cheer up, or make unsolicited comments?

LondonLass2026 · 03/08/2026 08:02

Oh good God. I'm guessing you're relatively young. Why does everything offend everyone these days? The amount of comments/jokes I got as a teenager and into my 30s for outfits I wore, how high my heels were, etc. It was so common in the 90s, 2000s.

As long as they aren't being offensive what does it matter? This guy wasn't rude. He made a crap joke.

There are all sorts of people out there, and once you accept that, the better you'll feel.

Morepositivemum · 03/08/2026 08:01

Ps a woman would definitely make a joke at how a man dressed if he was dressed in her opinion like a character- ridiculous this is being called as a man vs woman thing!!!

carben · 03/08/2026 08:01

If you walk past daily you obviously recognise each other. Sounds like he was trying to get your attention. Which he obviously has. Job done.

Morepositivemum · 03/08/2026 08:00

I’m so sorry I chuckled when I read what he said!!! I’d have laughed tbh, sorry you didn’t like it but reporting him will just make you look very ott!!!

CedarFlag · 03/08/2026 07:58

What a depressing read this thread is. We have a long way to go before making things better for the new generations of women.

CedarFlag · 03/08/2026 07:56

localnotail · 03/08/2026 07:23

Well she is even more unreasonable still stewing over a silly comment.

And you are unreasonable for not reading the post properly and making snarky comments about the weather. 🤷🏼‍♀️

CedarFlag · 03/08/2026 07:55

LuckyHazelFox · 03/08/2026 07:25

Who cares? They probably would laugh together if that happened.

I care. And it doesn’t happen. Because it’s men doing it to women and not other men.

And obviously, this instance is relatively trivial. At one end you have men abusing women. In the middle you have the catcalling and wolf-whistling which most decent people would agree is demeaning and a show of powerplay. Although there are plenty of women on MN I know who think it’s funny and a compliment. And then at the much milder end is this ‘joke’ incident. But it all comes from the same place, a misogynistic desire for men to humiliate women, whether the men acknowledge it or not.

55-year-old me couldn’t give a shit about this stuff. I would either ignore or challenge it robustly. But 18-year-old or even 22 year-old me could have felt embarrassed and humiliated by somebody saying this.

I think we should have zero tolerance to men doing this stuff to women. And it’s always women.