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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel annoyed at him?

5 replies

shhsjebfjdjebtv · 02/08/2026 19:45

To be honest I don’t really mind whether people think AIBU, but I just wanted to vent and hear others’ opinions….

Basically, for a few years, I worked in a company where the boss was a bit creepy, though in some ways very helpful and kind to me. He never did or said anything extremely inappropriate and in any case, he owned the company anyway so I would’ve had to just leave. The boss was only in the office once a month or so anyway, dealing with 90% of things remotely as he lives a good drive away from the city centre where the office is. His wife, who isn’t part of the company but would sometimes come in with the boss, seemed to take a dislike to me; she glared at her husband if he was talking to me, and snapped at him when he said he was going to come back in to help me with something the next day. She did other things to do, but that’s just a few anecdotes.

Anyway, cutting to the chase, it was never a long term job for me and I left for another job last year. I had to ask the boss for a reference but he was rude to me via email when I did so. He wouldn’t send my reference for weeks and delayed the start of my new job. I am now moving to another, much larger company and need professional references for the past three years; my current job I have no worries about, my manager will give me a great reference and has already told me so. However, the irritating former boss is still not responding to the reference request for my new job and I just hate him for it. He literally can just spend one minute getting a Chat GPT reference for me if he’s so bone idol.

OP posts:
Fortnightly · 02/08/2026 20:07

Did your current job keep the reference from your previous job on your file by any chance? 🤞 Maybe they could give you a copy.

LuckyHazelFox · 02/08/2026 20:08

You can feel annoyed but it's not going to change the situation. Can you not get a professional or associate to give you a reference?

shhsjebfjdjebtv · 03/08/2026 18:14

LuckyHazelFox · 02/08/2026 20:08

You can feel annoyed but it's not going to change the situation. Can you not get a professional or associate to give you a reference?

It should really come from him as my line manager. He’s just being awkward.

OP posts:
BrightLightTonight · 03/08/2026 18:16

Just ask the HR department to supply the reference

shhsjebfjdjebtv · 05/08/2026 11:28

BrightLightTonight · 03/08/2026 18:16

Just ask the HR department to supply the reference

I would, but the HR department are a small external company who the boss pays for… I’ll give it a go nonetheless

OP posts:
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