Is this Mumsnet for me? Shocked at responses

When people talk about a 'pile on' do they just just mean quite a few individuals disagree with the OP? Its quite unlikely those posters have deliberately combined together to 'pile on'.

My pet peeve is posters berating the OP for having got into the difficult position they are in. It's not as if they can go back in time and live their life again. Disagreeing is perfectly OK though.

There was a post recently with a mum worried about the searing heat in her high rise flat and how it was affecting her baby’s health. She got some good advice. But others were haranguing her for having a council flat, calling her entitled, demanding she and her partner find better jobs. It was just so mean and unnecessary. That kind of thing irritates the hell out of me.

Those were the days 😊👍

You should probably leave if you find it shocking. There is quite unique modding based on whether someone has reported a post or not.

Querying the motives behind or veracity of a post (aka Troll Hunting) appears to be pretty much the number one sin when posting on MN and will get you gone in a flash.

it can be a mix at times, i prefer the proper educational debates

I am not bothered about swearing, even though I choose not to.

I am in my fifties and confident, with a thick skin and nobody could upset me here. I also don’t think women need to be kind etc.

But the automatic going against the OP is just so tedious. When it’s pretty obvious the OP is justified, people immediately challenge and nitpick and go out of their way to prove them wrong and be unpleasant for the sake of it. I just roll my eyes and scroll on.

Mumsnet is online - pure nastiness of people hiding behind anonymous usernames mixed with fairly unreasonable expectations of perfection ( the typical mumsnet child has a minimum of all 8 at gcse, eats a perfectly varied diet etc). Its the worst of real life mums groups, on steroids.
having said that, some of the sub groups are decent ;)

😆 🤣

I love it BECAUSE of the honesty. Please say what they actually think rather than the sugar coating you get in real life. Best place to come if you want to find out the truth about your problem. On that note, and to your last point, stay or leave, no one cares.

Thanks for this interesting and perceptive post. In my opinion, it is the anonymity that brings out the worst in people, much like other social media . I have to confess that before opening my account on this I half expected it to be softer, more supportive and less judgemental given the majority of us are likely to be women. To be honest, I couldn't really have been more wrong and I am genuinely surprised at the bias when a man is at fault compared to the responses when the woman is clearly at fault. It is certainly some distance from being balanced and reasonable in my experience.

I bet you’ve only been on AIBU. Do some work on exploring the site properly

2926? Your username is fitting!

And yes, I think they do. You see an upsurge in fake posts when the school holidays kick off.

Swearing is allowed, and why not? Nothing wrong with it.

It's personal attacks that are not allowed, or troll hunting, though there can be so many trolls that it is hard not to fall foul of that one occasionally.

Just an aside. I hate the c word. So we use the euphemism Tuesday Boys.

If any bored child was posting on here id be extremely worried about them. What child in 2926 is registering on mumsnet when the rest of the internet, streaming and gaming exists never mind the outside world

You don't actually think thats happening do you?

Swearing is a personal matter, you're perfectly within your rights to find swearing offensive. But what you find offensive, someone else may not bat an eyelid so it's a personal issue, nobody really has a right not to be offended. Best to avoid.

I do find the bullying sometimes on here quite hard to read myself but I kind of appreciate MN allowing people to be adults and sort it out themselves.

I'm always surprised how quickly people jump to 'report to the police'. Would be interested to know how often these that advise others to do that themselves actually have....

And how many people parent perfectly, have perfect partners, children, family, friends and are themselves perfect in every way.

I don't mind swearing, but gratuitous use of the c word makes me cringe.

I remember when I first came on here and I was shocked by how nasty people can be. There are people on here who don’t give a shit about how much they are kicking someone who’s already clearly in distress. My view of humanity has been lowered by this site. Though there are some utter gems of humanity on here there are also some very unhappy and vile people too.

I think generally, MN are good at moderating. They respond quickly if you report a post.
The responses can be a bit hurtful at times, but when it's good MN is really good! I've often cried with laughter, and must bore my friends to tears with "On Mumsnet, someone said..." all the time. Women's wisdom at its finest.

I voted YANBU because it clearly is not for you.

It must have been a very shitty opinion.

I’m sure some people only visit forums in order to have a safe, anonymous, nasty little go at other people. You get a few on just about any forum. They’re sad, pathetic, little people - probably quite insignificant in real life - and honestly not worth getting upset over

Not have one of those in a long time.

We used to get them at least once a week.

cuntychops is a great expression.

Not very often IMO. I offered an opinion that got me banned for a fortnight, that I still think was truthful. But the rules are the rules, even when they don't make sense.

I don't know because I'm just guessing at the type of response you are thinking of. But with regards to swearing, I am very happy that we can use any swear word we like. As we do in real life. And I'm very sweary in real life, though consciously not using any swears in this response.