Is this Mumsnet for me? Shocked at responses

Do you really think that people don’t know?
And do you really think having a go at them helps?

Its like on thread where the OP is being abused and she gets told off because she hasn’t left 12 hours after being told to LTB.
Do you think having a go is helping someine who is scarred shit? It doesn’t. It’s more likely to make them close up agd stop asking for help.
Those who do leave within 24 hours are those who had already taken the decision. They just wanted a last confirmation

There can be posts that aren’t ‘true’, just bullying.

@GinToBegin savagely deleted!! Maybe I should have starred my swears?

So my reply (which I don’t believe actually did break any talk guidelines, but there we go)

was….. “I believe the standard response is

“off you F then Cychops””

And you just have to see the answers above mines.
Extremely judgemental because someone has dare say that they don’t like MN, explaining why.
OP must be awful, unfeeling, uncaring etc… all because they dint swear. Right….

Some people on Mumsnet are - as many people are in real life - total cunts. And yes, I’m allowed to say cunt. If I told someone directly that they personally were a cunt, that would be different.

Yes, it’s moderated, but obviously that depends on people a) reporting things and b) reporting things that actually do go against the rules. Being unsympathetic, blunt, sarcastic etc isn’t typically a problem. ‘Being kind’ is no more obligatory here than it is anywhere else.

You've seen people on here advising women to throw out their children if they claim a trans identity? I don't think that's common. I've never seen it.

There are also regular pile on where the first few answers take tge thread in one direction fur no other reason that the first two answers went that way.
And even if that direction is utterly wrong or other views should be heard, nope. 90% of the answers stay stuck in that. Like sheep.

You have people not RTFT which result in awful answers. Like the oerson writes her OP worried about her dh. Thread moves on said dh has died but people answer ‘oh don’t worry. No need for A&E. It’s nothing. How dare you going there’

And in general people answer emotionally, projecting ther own experience into the OP.

So yes there ARE a few posters and answers that great.
But in AIBU in particular, it’s savage.

Usually the people saying #bekind are the biggest cunts imo.

Oh @Su9- you are one of those dull people who think words not emotions behind them matter. Oh you’ve stopped swearing, well done , have you stopped caring about things or have you just stopped expressing anger or passion?

My observation is the reluctance to believe new posters are new posters. There's also the long running MNers who like to get it in how long they have been posting, as though that's meant to elevate their status. Nobody is better than anyone else on an anonymous forum or though you wouldn't think so on most threads.

Farewell, brave traveller. May you find a land where no one swears, everyone agrees, and unicorns moderate the threads.

Many answers are unnecessarily harsh.
They are not robust answers. They are putting the poster down for something they can’t change. Like ‘why on earth have you married and had a kid with that arsehole?’
It’s not something that can be changed. It doesn’t help the OP nor does it give an answer to whatever question they had.

Nany answers are sexist, ableist or racist. Like recently a poster saying they wouldn’t be happy if their child was marrying a crippled. Meaning a disabled person. Post is standing though.

And many comments are left because it’s not really personal when clearly the intent is to put the person down.

So yes I’m reading. I’m still posting and I hope some of my answers are helpful. I wouldn’t start a thread, especially if the issue is sensitive for me (which it will likely be if I’m posting)

@AnonyMumAuDHD that's funny.

My friend C was in Pans People!

My comment was about the huge anger around transpeople. I don't think you can change sex and I have personal experience of a family member choosing a gender in their teenage years. However there is never any support for women in this difficult position and the mother gets told to throw them out or cut off all friendships. It's heartbreaking enough.
Total bun fights @scalt (I was once ticked off for using the term bun fight as it was twee).

I agree with OP…I joined this forum when I was pregnant with my little boy and honestly sometimes the cruelty really takes me aback. I’ve read some lovely, thoughtful and helpful responses too but I’ll never understand the urge to kick someone while they are down.

Was that around covid topics?

I remember a health visitor on MN saying “I tell people not to go to MN for advice, it’s so confrontational”.

And in 2020, MN had to be seen to be believed. It was truly vile.

That’s a dance group from TOTP, isn’t it?

There are people on MN who just enjoy upsetting others...it's obvious with some posters. Others just believe certain things and dont want to look at it from any other point of view. But a lot of people have particular knowledge and /or experience and have useful things to say. You can usually tell what kind of poster you are reading and you can take the useful stuff and ignore the rubbish.

In my experience the mods are quite precious and will suspend accounts at the drop of a hat.

@scalt

You forgot transpeople.

The site and its income thrives on traffic and 'click' subjects.
Up to a degree, spirited debate is allowed as it brings more clicks/revenue and MN is now dominated by adverts.

personal nasty attacks are not allowed.

But there is a bit of a blurred line sometimes.

I take exception at reading the word 'c..t as I don't like hearing it or seeing it anywhere and least of all on a site for women, predominantly.