AIBU to feel hurt after being left out by baby group friend?

How long have you known each other?
Has she known them longer than you?

It has nothing to do with feeling sorry for the OP. Adults can socialise with whoever they want whenever they want and it’s weird to expect to be invited to every single thing.

Why would you cut a friend out of your life for not being included in one social gathering if they’re otherwise a good friend?

I think it depends on how big the group is.

Our NCT group was made up of 8 or 9 couples, and whilst we had big group meet ups, small groups naturally formed, each of which are still good friends with each other.

If it’s a group of five and you’re the only one excluded, that’s mean and unkind. If it’s bigger, then it will sting but it does mean you’re not really in that smaller group formed.

I don’t really get people who behave like this . It is hurtful behaviour and she’s not your friend frankly .

Did she invite the whole group except you?

If so, I'm not surprised you feel hurt. You could ask one of the others if she knows why you weren't included. If eg it's a misunderstanding as they all thought you were on holiday, this might be quite easily resolved

If she just felt she got on better with the others, you might choose to stay in contact but match their energy, drop the rope a bit ie move them from friends to old NCT crowd". So, remain on good terms, see them from time to time but accept you're not included in everything

I feel your pain. I turned up at a friend's house to discover various other friends at a party. The first part was I felt so humiliated that they all realised I hadnt been invited

This is so sad, especially as you were going through a divorce and probably needed your friends. Not all people have the same loyalty through distance and time, I hope you have good people in your life now

Why would OP want this friend to stay friends because she feels sorry for the OP?

I would strongly ignore this advice OP, don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

If you want to be friends with this woman you behave like an adult. You can speak to her about your feelings being hurt, or you can move on and try to nurture the friendship - why don’t you host your own soirée for example?

I wouldn’t do anything except note to myself that perhaps she likes me less than the others. People are allowed friendships and social events that don’t include you. You’re not school children who have to invite the whole class.

Are you still friends with her?
No
Just on Facebook.

Did you still post the card through the letter box? Would love to have been a fly on the wall if she opened it there and then!

I had a friend from school . When I married she was a witness . I moved 60 miles away but I would see her when I went back to see my mum. When I had my son I asked her to be godmother . A few months after she had her first child I made a last minute visit home to see my mum. I called round at her mum’s ,where she was living ,to find the christening in full swing . I was invited to stay but declined. We hadn’t been in touch as much as I was going through a very messy divorce but it stung . We are still friends but she has moved to Australia now .

@empee47 I would not talk to her anymore- she clearly doesn't like you so why waste time on her.

You’re not being unreasonable to have your feelings hurt, whatever age we are feelings get hurt, being honest and as immature and sensitive as I am I would probably either confront them and make it clear how hurt I was and try to be honest in the hope they’d reassure me it wasn’t personal and they wouldn’t do it again and hope there was some reason for it that would make me feel better or I would just cut them out completely, it would probably be the latter

Oh bless you. I’m sorry.
This happened to me with NCT and I sent a message saying it hurt to be left out and it’s not something I would ever do to them.
15 years later and we are all still best friends. It worked in my case, got various excuses and apologies on the group chat and of course smaller groups of course meet up all the time, but everyone meeting and one left out doesn’t happen in any of my friendship groups. I figured at the time I had nothing to lose.

Are you still friends with her?

Quite obviously she’d invited them round for a little soirée but not me - wwyd?

I don’t think there’s anything you can do. She is entitled to have a candlelight soirée.

But either way, the person whose house it is is perfectly entitled to invite whoever she likes.

How many in the group? If there's just the 5 of you then you've been excluded. If there's 10 of you, we'll she just wanted a few mates over and your timing was unfortunate.

I can understand why you’re hurt but I also think it’s normal to prefer the company of some people more than others, and obviously she is entitled to invite who she wants to her house. Try not to take it to heart.

Not quite the same but quite a few years ago now, my friends mum's collecting something for whatever reason. I phoned my friend to tell her that I had some stuff for her mum and I'll drop it off when passing.

She lived in a large house with a sloping drive and big gates so you
wouldn't see what was happening until you drove up to the front of the house. There was a full bbq going on with loads of people that I knew. We were good friends, not casual acquaintances and we went to each others house parties so this stung. She looked embarrassed and said you are welcome to stay. Of course i didn't!

What spectacularly bad timing. How many in the group?

I wouldn’t go to someone’s house unless they were expecting me.