To think my age gap / sugar baby relationship is nobody else’s business?

It's nobody's business but obviously people have eyes and ears and have their own opinions. Is it like a job where you think OK I'll find a "new job" in x amount of years? As boring as it sounds in a 100k office job you are at least earning a pension. I'm ten yrs older than you and wasn't thinking of that at 29 but that does change.

Do what you want of course but others can do what they want too, which may be to judge a bit. Do you not want to meet so.eone you love one day? Or does this have an end date? What if you did meet someone, would you keep this going? Etc etc.

That’s so not true. Many office jobs pay 100k. I was on 70k 11 yrs ago before I left, my manager on 250k and his mgr on 500k. All office jobs that needed a degree to get hired there but that’s all.

100k in a corporate sales role (that wasn’t my role) would easily clear this!

It all sounds a little well murky to say the least.

It’s your life — you can live it as you see fit. Even if that means being a prostitute. However, if you were my friend or family member I’d be ashamed of you, and wouldn’t want to acknowledge you as such. The same way I wouldn’t want to introduce a pimp, drug dealer or conman as a friend or family member. It’s not an honourable undertaking no matter how much money you make,

I have an office job (well WFH because they closed the offices during covid and never reopened hem) with no professional qualifications and a base salary over £100k with a 20% annual bonus.

Do you plan to have children with him? Or leave him and try to find someone younger to have children with? Are you prepared to care for him in his old age while you and still young and fit and able to enjoy your own life? Or dump him if it gets to that stage? What if you do have children with him and also end up caring for him and raising your children at the same time?

Sounds like an ok arrangement for a bit of fun for a year or so, but not for a long term relationship where you are potentially looking at a very different future to what you have.

I know. Extraordinary isn't it?

A sad way to live your life really, screwing someone for money when you appear to have the ability to make your own living.
The longer you waste your life doing this, the less likely you are to find true love in your life.
Anyway, your life, your choice but don't be surprised if others see you as a gold digger.

@Dery ChatGPT?

It’s a side point but I’m a bit bewildered at the assumption you’ve made that if this arrangement ends you’ll just find another. Where are all these 60year olds who are rich enough and morally questionable enough to compensate someone over 100k per year to be their “girlfriend”. There can’t be millions of them.

A brag??
Are you reading the same thread??

OP is essentially a prostitute with 1 client (like a lot have).

Her DP holds ALL of the cards.
Her entire existence depends on him.

He can choose to cut her off at any moment and she knows it, so she’ll have to constantly be on edge.

A brag would be if OP had the wealth and had a toy boy 😁

@spicysugarbb There are very many women across the world that feel this way due to cultural conditioning, labour market realities, or the financial reality of their everyday lives.

Having "seconds" is commonplace for wealthy men as keeping a woman is cheap compared to many other hobbies, especially when he has the novelty of being able to swap out the old for a new one whenever he gets bored.

If you are going to play this game, play it properly:- put enough cash aside so that when he does swap you out, you are leaving with an exit fund as opposed to a few high end bags. At 29 you will be ageing out soon.

Also keep up the frequent STD checks as when there are "seconds", there are 'thirds", and also ad hoc snacks and side encounters as well, which can have health implications.

Take the judgement on the chin - it comes with the territory.

What are you on about?

No-one has said 15 year old boys have grandchildren. 😆

The OP's sugar daddy (vom) is in his early 60s, so that could mean up to 63-64, and he could easily have a 'child' who is 46.., And that 'child' could have had a child at 16-17. And that child could be 29 if they were born when the parent was 17.

So yeah, a 63 year old man could easily have a 29 year old grandchild. Ergo, the OP's sugar daddy is old enough to be her grandad. 😎

You lost me at the office job paying 100k 😒

On the off chance this is true and not a spot of Sunday afternoon creative writing, it's rather sad. He's way old enough to be your father, of course his adult children will have an opinion, and not a favourable one.

Earning 100K and renting? Now with a sugar daddy and still renting? I don't get it. I know it is off topic, but it is getting weirder and weirder.

The first response nails it really.

But I agree with others that it would be sensible to keep working in some capacity so you can save at the same time. Also avoids a long gap in your CV. Perhaps your sugar daddy would be willing to say you were his PA? In a sense you are!

I also think that you need to be planning now if you want a family. Often people settle down with the person they go on to have kids with in their late twenties. If you want a relationship with your child’s father, it takes time to meet the right person and build the relationship.

Well it's nobody's business technically, but it sounds like a very shallow and lazy existence. I would distance myself from a friend who was choosing this life, because I'd feel they had no integrity and we wouldn't have the common values necessary for a friendship. But if those things aren't important to you then crack on.

But I honestly think we’re both cynical enough to understand exactly what we’re doing. I know I wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t wealthy. Equally, I doubt he’d have pursued me if I were his age. It sounds awful written down, but it feels strangely honest. We’re genuinely fond of each other and enjoy each other’s company, we make each other laugh, we’ll happily spend hours talking over dinner, watch films together, i look forward to his messages during the day, but neither of us is pretending it’s some sweeping romance

There's a few references to honesty or being genuine in post, including this one -

but neither of us is pretending it’s some sweeping romance

However, you haven't actually had the conversation to make sure of this, have you? There's a lot of assumptions here that I don't think a person who is truly concerned with behaving ethically or honesty would make.

And it's so obvious why. Despite all your talk or honesty or lack of pretence, you don't want to have that conversation as it risks upsetting him or making him angry, and losing all the money and benefits you're now getting. Pretty calculated and cold in my book, yet you present this to yourself and others as the both of you somehow knowing what you're doing.

Otherwise if this ends sooner I’ll be young and attractive enough to find a similar arrangement

Maybe you are emotionally cut-out for this, but it sounds like a bit of a bland existence emotionally. Be careful that after years of the jewellery, the holidays, the clothes that you don't wake up one day and regret not trying to find a romantic partner when there will be more of them that are still single, and without so many issues or baggage.

You’ve already admitted you get nothing in his will so you’re leaving yourself extremely vulnerable when he dies!
You’re out of the workplace so will be find it more difficult to re enter it at the same level plus you’ll be say 20-30 years older.
You’ll no longer be able to find another sugar daddy as you won’t be young enough.
You’ll have no pension, either state or private as you won’t have been paying national insurance so won’t have built up enough credits and assuming sugar daddy ain’t making pension contributions to a private pension for you!
At least if you were an actual prostitue you be getting a wage and could save and contribute to a pension.
This is not a position I’d like to be in, 50-60 years old and destitute!

OP I would be putting some money away now for the future, live frugally for a couple of months or find a part time role. If you are not going to be a beneficiary of a will or getting married etc then you are terribly vulnerable if he just ends the relationship suddenly in event of death/health issues or just general change of heart.

I have no issue with your lifestyle. It works for both of you but I'd be a little worried for the future

It's not anyone else's business. But as you put it out here and asked if you are kidding yourself, yes, I believe you are. You are selling yourself, it isn't any different from prostitution (when prostitution is done safely). You are telling him you love him when you don't which is manipulative.

I don't judge you for it, just like I don't judge any type of sex worker. You are one of the same.

OP, whatever about this morally which is completely your own business, you need to be a lot more sensible than you are being financially.

If this ends, where are you for housing and paying your bills?
With a large gap in employment?

That would be my biggest concern for you.
Should he drop dead, where would you be?

Start thinking and planning as if it could suddenly end.

Anything else is spectacularly foolish IMO.

Nah, they are as wrong as each other. She's an almost 30 year old woman, not a child - she's just as responsible for this shitshow as he is.

I guess my question is why give up work? Why not continue to earn and save/invest everything? Within a few years you'd have a portfolio that would give you long term financial security long after your arrangement ends....