AIBU to expect the original sleeping arrangements on a family holiday?

I’d be pushing this back onto DSis and telling her she needs to manage her daughter better rather than keep letting her get her own way

If she isn’t able to do this I’d book a third air bnb and take yourself and DS off to do your own thing

its your holiday too and you/DS matter just as much

Hell with that! She is the one who kept changing things around. Tell her you like the arrangements as they are, thank you very much.

If her DD is hurt because she winds up your DS and invades his privacy, she can look in the mirror to see who to blame. If I were your DS, I wouldn't want her in my room either.

I'd be telling sis her child isn't the only one worthy of empathy and that it's worth remembering that DS had spent a whole day travelling and then arrived to his space being taken over unexpectedly and his privacy being invaded.

7 and 11 years olds of the same gender don't always mix awfully well. Expecting him to share a room with a much younger girl isn't fair at all.

Can you afford to get another air bnb, OP?

It sounds like some space would be good for both of you.

Sis sounds like a raging foot stamper who is used to getting her own way.

To me it’d be a no brainer ‘I’d take the flat with my son . You’d be able to go home to a quiet space whenever you like

It’s not appropriate for an 11year old
ds to share with a younger female cousin. She could share with granny but otherwise that’s a hard no.

YANBU to expect the original sleeping arrangements be stuck to. You have had a tough time lately (we're all on your other threads) and you need this holiday and some personal space, as does your son who does not want and should not have to share his space with a 7 year old girl who drives him bonkers.

Your sister needs to grow up. She knew this was the accommodation arrangement; she needs to accept it.

I don’t think it’s fair for an 11 year old boy to share a room/ sleep area with a 7 year old girl. He is approaching puberty and may actually want private space- could you word it that way?

Or if granny made the promise put her in granny’s room with granny.

You should all sleep as discussed and agreed prior to the trip.

Stand your ground op, your son is watching and learning.

Could the young girl share with granny instead of with your son.
My 11 yo boy would have no interest sharing with younger girl cousin

Does your DN rarely see DGM that’s the only reason I can think contact / closeness should be prioritised? That they are rarely together and want to maximise their time

I think you’re tired from your journey and have over-reacted. You’re being gifted a holiday, your sister and niece are excited to spend time with you, your son your mum, and are hurt that you’ve pushed them away.

Go to bed and make up tomorrow.

Hi Pithy.

The last thing you need on holiday is more drama.

Who 'promised' DN she could stay in your and your mum's 3 bed apartment?

I'm guessing it was your DSis. In which case she's going to have to explain to her DD that that's not now going to happen. She really can't promise someone else's space to her DD!

If it was your mum, that's a bit more problematic.
Definitely don't agree to your DS sharing with DN.
Maybe you could have a few days there with your mum, then you and DS move to DSis apartment and she + DN move in with your mum.

OK, so you add in 'I didn't know about that so we can't keep promises we didn't make' then repeat the points I gave above. You and your son are on holiday. You don't have to accept the shitty end of the stick because someone else said something impulsive under pressure.

If your mum pulls rank as the person paying, then I'd say you and your son will decamp to the other flat and have that to yourselves. But I wouldn't suggest that straight off.

Could both kids stay with grandma (each with their own room)

Maybe grandma doesn't want to be responsible for two children overnight.

And of course an 11 yo boy doesn't want to share a room with a 7 yo girl.

I think he's old enough you could just say no to mixed sex sleepovers full stop, between non siblings.

It's a shame it's turned into an argument. Part of me thinks fair enough that she asked, but she should have taken your no with better grace.

Could both kids stay with grandma (each with their own room) and you and sis obviously stay in the larger flat until bed time then go back to the other flat (perhaps for a cheeky glass of wine before bed)

You or your mum or both have presumably paid for the Airbnb. Why should the people paying for holiday accommodation have to share it with others just because those people fancy it? Nope. Say you and your son have had a really hectic year of it and you need your own space on holiday so there won't be any overnight sharing. Broken record technique, just keep repeating it calmly. Protect your son's space and your own.

Actually is a bit helpful. I’d go to the flat then. Private space is best.

Who is paying for the AirBnB?

I’d just say “we were hot and tired , not expecting changed plans and Ds was upset about his diary. Tomorrow is another day x”

It is understandable that your Dn is jealous over her grandmother. And 7 yos love being with older kids (who generally really do not want them around),

You look at your sister and say oh, hell no, I am not sharing a bedroom with you. This is not a sleepover. We just got off a long train ride and need our rest.

Then,

"Your daughter is not staying here. The end."

Renovations are hell but it's her holiday place and she's got a rental of her own.

Just stick to your guns “we planned to come based on this arrangement, otherwise we’d have booked our own place” she needs to get over herself @PithyBeaker

If you want space swap with her. You’re all on holiday and have stuff going on. She’s probably stressed as you’re not all enjoying yourselves at her place that’s being renovated. try to relax and enjoy this time. Not sure exactly what your DSis problem is but is it worth ruining holiday over. Hopefully not. Have a good sleep and tomorrow is a new day … tiredness is a biatch!!

I’d stay wherever there is aircon.