AIBU to think my sister is overreacting about our drinking?

I really hope that neither of you drive.

Your sister is right, You know she is right. You don't care. Crack on

Yes. Have a cuppa or a glass of water and get to bed.

Your posts certainly seem as though you’ve consumed a fair amount of alcohol tonight OP. It may be best to go to bed and look at this afresh with a clear head tomorrow.

I think you’re opening up and understanding that you do in fact have a drink problem. The fact you only enjoy the sex when your husband has been drinking is really, really sad.
You don’t need to be drinking at 10am to be an alcoholic. I think you’ve got enough advice and opinions here OP and they’re all much and much the same type of response. I’m not saying go and talk to Frank but maybe be more mindful. Swap it for alcohol free or try and have 3-4 nights alcohol free.

Hmmm... you're obviously on the vino right now. OK, it's a Saturday night... but be honest with yourself, does being drunk at home on the sofa really bring you so much enjoyment that it's worth the headache and the health risks? Don't you just feel a bit down and groggy when you drink at home alone? I know I do... Drinking with friends is fun and exciting, but for me, drinking at home alone or just with DH is just a bit sad and depressing... (And all the more so when I've seen what low-level alcoholism can do to people).

So you binge drink?

You're a bit young to down size and those kids will be bouncing back and forth for a few years yet.

You're facing an empty nest, that's hard so don't underestimate it.

We sold our business when DH was mid fifties I was 50. He had his hobbies and the smallholding. I carried on working part time, three days a week.

We down sized when youngest was 16 and other two married. DH hated it for a few years but has adjusted. Torn rotor cuffs, arthritis do tend to slow you down.

I’ve never come across an OP that has so much irrelevant information in it. Haven’t RTFT, did anyone work out what the first son’s specific graduate scheme and the other son’s exact gap year plans have to do with whether the OP and her husband drink too much?

Separately, I’m somewhat surprised (and impressed) that you can drink this much. I’m 20 years younger and struggle when I have a social event that involves alcohol 3 nights in a row. And 3 glasses of wine at the pub = falling asleep in the uber home.

You're not old, what - 50s? Perhaps you retired too soon. There's certainly a lot going on here. I think your sister did you a favour.

Sounds like you hadn’t thought much about what life would be like when your DC left home, it needs a bit of preparing for in my experience, making sure you have things you want to do and do them. Probably time to find some new things to do and meet some new people.

As a member of Gen X I can’t disagree with the poster who said as a generation heavy drinking has been normalised but there is a huge split I am seeing . Lots of people I know have cut right back since 40s and now having stepped back can see clearly how shit our generation’s relationship with alcohol is.

So your sister is right to worry.
You don't sound like alcoholics but you are drinking far more than is safe and are likely to tolerate it less and less well as you get older.

Hmmmn my first thought reading your OP was that your sister is very ‘uptight’ about booze but reading your replies suggests that maybe there is a problem brewing!
Have a cuppa and go to bed .X

We have all heard of people who chain smoke and live to 100. The same with alcohol, however it is a poison that merry feeling is it taking effect. Go on the liver trust not all alcoholics drink in the morning or have days off work. You don't have to drink to excess to damage your liver. I know of one poor man who only ever had a couple of glasses of good wine a night if that and he was fortunate to receive a liver transplant. The liver is very forgiving it also doesn't give any warning signs until it is too late.
It might be worth getting checked out having a liver function test.

That's sad.

YABU.

Moderate drinking at 3 social occasions in 3 days would not be cause for concern. Having a few drinks with friends 2-3 times a week is fine.

However, drinking at home every evening or most evenings is not good, and can so easily lead to more. I've seen it so many times in my own family... it starts off small, then steadily becomes larger amounts, and more and more frequent, but they always try and kid themselves and downplay it. So be perfectly honest with yourself: is it really "a couple of glasses" of wine with dinner, or is it 3 or 4? And are the glasses you're pouring yourself 175ml, or are you using those massive oversized wine glasses and filling them to the top - i.e., a third of a bottle per glass?

You don't need to answer me, but do be honest with yourself, because alcohol problems can be very insidious and creep up on you. If I were you I'd keep an honest diary of your alcohol consumption for a month or two.

I'd also try and keep the alcohol consumption to social occasions with friends, plus the odd special occasion just the two of you (eg. anniversaries, birthdays). Is it really worth the groggy head every single morning just to get quietly drunk in front of the telly?

So you frequently see your husband drunk.

And you think your sister is wrong to say that you have a joint problem with alcohol.

That's what happens when our children become adults. They become independent and make choices. It's another phase of life.
There are a lot of things to work through, perhaps go to bed now and revisit in the morning.

Who’s judging? We don’t know you, you asked a question here. I’m not sure what the ages of your kids, the length of your marriage etc, has to do with anything. I’m also in my early 50s with 2 boys of similar ages, married to a keen cyclist. I’ve got a good professional job and never neglected any of my responsibilities at home or at work. I still drank too much and was mega defensive, as you are( if anyone pointed it out. I’ve now not had a drop in what will be 5 years later this month. It is still possible
to have fun and navigate life’s challenges without alcohol, it really is. No one but you can know if your drinking is a problem but maybe have a look at why you’ve reacted so defensively. Is it because you know there is?

YOU described him as "crazy insane" FFS!!!

The trouble is you are actually quite pissed so starting to ramble on

Asking a question based on a very strange post you made is not judgement. There was zero judgement in my post.
You have said he's crazy insane. Not me.