AIBU to think my sister is overreacting about our drinking?

I’m genuinely fascinated why you have included all that random information about the sons, their specific careers plans and degrees, their girlfriends- what on earth has that got to do with a question about whether you drink too much?

Just after some outside opinions because I'm genuinely not sure whether my sister has a point or whether she's being overly judgemental.

DH and I have been together since university and are now in our early 50s. We have two sons. Our eldest has just finished university and starts a graduate scheme in investment banking in London in a few weeks. Our youngest gets his A-level results in a couple of weeks and, hopefully, will be applying to study Economics and Maths and will be going to university sept 2026 after taking a gap year travelling. He plans to go after Christmas and is using money we saved for him to spend on whatever he wanted, he’s chosen to go travel all over South America solo we plan to meet him in a few countries.

DH retired early a couple of years ago. He's not old enough to draw his private pension yet, but we'd planned well financially and he reached the point where he simply didn't need to work anymore. I still work two days a week because I enjoy it.

We've always been sociable people and, if I'm honest, we've always enjoyed a drink. Even back at university we were the ones organising nights out, and that side of us has never really changed. We travel a lot, go away for weekends, love jazz bars with live music and dancing, go out for meals, have friends over regularly and I absolutely love hosting dinner parties. Our house has always been the one where people gather.

Life has changed recently though. Our boys are adults now and quite rightly have their own lives. They both have girlfriends, they're building their own futures and we've naturally had to take a bit of a back seat as parents. That's exactly how it should be, and we're proud of them, but it does mean our lives are much quieter than they were when they were younger.

In a few weeks our eldest will move into London for work, and next year our youngest will head off travelling before university, so it'll just be the two of us most of the time. We actually like each other's company and have always enjoyed going out together, so that's never worried either of us.

The issue is this. My sister stayed with us for a long weekend recently. One evening we had friends over for dinner. We opened wine while I was cooking and everyone had a couple of glasses over the course of the evening. The next night we went to the pub with friends and I had three glasses of wine over several hours while DH had a couple of pints and a whisky. The following evening we stayed in, cooked dinner together and shared a bottle of wine while watching a film.

A few days after she'd gone home she rang me and said she was actually worried about us. She said she'd noticed we seemed to drink every day and thought we'd normalised alcohol to an unhealthy extent. She even used the word "alcoholics", which completely took me aback. I’ve said to her we just like having fun, we aren’t drinking at 8am every morning, we aren’t arguing, we like good alcohol that’s all and we don’t really have any responsibilities.

The thing is, she's not entirely wrong that we drink most evenings. If I'm not commuting into London the next day I'll often have a couple of glasses of wine with dinner. If I'm off the following day we might share a bottle. If we're out with friends we'll drink then too.

Neither of us has ever missed work because of drinking. We don't drink in the mornings, don't hide alcohol, don't become unpleasant after drinking and we can easily go without if one of us is driving, we're travelling somewhere or we're doing something where drinking isn't appropriate.

My sister barely drinks herself. She might have a glass of prosecco at Christmas or a wedding and that's about it, so perhaps her idea of normal is very different from ours.
DH thinks she's being ridiculous and says we've simply reached a stage in life where we have time, disposable income and enjoy good food, entertaining and a drink together. He says we're not neglecting anyone or anything because there really aren't many day-to-day responsibilities anymore.

I wasn't worried until she said it, but now I'm wondering if we've drifted into drinking so regularly that we've stopped noticing it.

AIBU to think she's overreacting?

@ByJollyQuail , you were brave asking that question on Mumsnet which is positively puritanical on the subject of booze. Alcohol is a social lubricant and you sound like gloriously social animals. Good for you. It’s true that the scientific evidence points to alcohol having adverse health consequences if used in excess however. If you’re concerned for your health then having a couple of alcohol free days a week would help but in my opinion you don’t sound like you have dependence issues.

@ByJollyQuail , you were brave asking that question on Mumsnet which is positively puritanical on the subject of booze. Alcohol is a social lubricant and you sound like gloriously social animals. Good for you. It’s true that the scientific evidence points to alcohol having adverse health consequences if used in excess however. If you’re concerned for your health then having a couple of alcohol free days a week would help but in my opinion you don’t sound like you have dependence issues.

I knew many people who drank more than you every day and lived good healthy long lives well into their late 80s and 90s. I've known people who never drank live into their mid 60s.

You have a healthy lifestyle and are happy, enjoy.

Objectively I think drinking everyday probably isn't ideal from a physical health perspective. However you are adults, it sounds like you are functioning well, you are not impacting negatively on other people, you are managing your responsibilities and you are happy with your life. So that's the end of it really as far as I'm concerned. Many people could change aspects of their life style to better optimise their physical health, but we all make choices about how we want to live and enjoy our life.

Have you read all of OP 's posts? If not, I suggest you do.

Though I suspect the OP is trolling, as the drunken spelling was far too performative for my liking. I gather that the thread has already been reported, so I'll leave it to mnhq to decide.

thank god for some sense

most people I know with adult children drink a couple glasses red wine with dinner and it’s nit cause for any concern… I don’t think that’s unusual at all. Maybe not when you’ve got toddlers or young children but literally every 50 something I know enjoys a nightly wine… does it mean it’s healthy? Maybe not but OP might be super healthy in other aspects. Does it mean they’re alcoholics? No. Any French person would say it’s fine

Tell your sister thanks for her concern then ignore her. You live your life and she can live hers, both as you choose to.

We exercise. DH goes on 100 miles cycles spends most of his time cycling I cycle too just not to and from Scotland like he does with his friends. He’s in very good shape has been cycling since he was in his early teens.

@ByJollyQuail We were v similar. A couple of years ago, aged 63, I had some blood tests and my GGT and ALT were elevated. I was referred for a luver scan which confirmed I had a mildly fatty liver.

I had 100 days off the booze. Everything returned to normal. I now have a couole of drinks Fr/Sat/Sun - never more than 14 units.

Huge wake up call. May I gently suggest you get real.

Half a bottle of wine is 6/7 units. That's 42 to 49 units per week. Go figure.