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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel guilty for giving a bad review-was I wrong?

92 replies

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 14:46

Dd recently had a birthday party and we hired a company where a man dressed up as a character she loves and played with the kids and a photographer took photos.
We were all happy at the party and they turned up (obviously not in costume) the man who was due to dress up did not answer when we greeted him, he had a face like thunder and stormed through with his bag to the changing room, some of the parents noticed and there were raised eyebrows.
The photographer with him was a nice lady and I spoke with her.
When dressed as the character, he was fine, not hugely animated but the kids enjoyed and the photos were excellent. At the end he rushed out quickly but did at least half smile and said goodbye.
I don’t know his personal life or if he loves or hates doing this job, but I did find it off putting.
I don’t think I’ve written a negative review in my life, but they sent the questionnaire and I filled it with positives about the photos and the photographer. I did say the children enjoyed meeting and playing with this character. When it asked if i’d use again or recommend I ticked ‘Not sure’ instead of ‘Yes, definitely’
On the extra comments box, I mentioned all the positives and that the kids enjoyed it and the photos were great, but I did mention that upon greeting the clients (us) at the party, the man was very unfriendly and angry/miserable looking, didn’t greet us and stormed through and parents noticed and it’s probably not the best start to a happy day where people are celebrating and in good spirits.

Was I mean? I’m now wondering if I should have just left it as maybe he was having a bad day?
On the other hand, I think, well many of us have bad days, that’s life.

OP posts:
Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 14:47

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BessPorgy · 01/08/2026 14:48

They wanted feedback. You gave yours. Don’t overthink this. I wouldn’t give it a second thought if I were you.

Gizlotsmum · 01/08/2026 14:49

You gave fair factual feedback. Nothing wrong with that

pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 14:50

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He didn't do his job very well at all - he turned up with a face like a slapped arse, didn't bother to interact with the people who had hired him, wasn't particularly animated then fucked off at the end without even stopping to talk.

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 14:52

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TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 01/08/2026 14:54

They wouldn’t sent the feedback form if they didn’t want feedback.

It’s not a bad review, it’s an honest review.

pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 14:58

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Well, if he's a self-employed one man band, he should know better than to interact with his paying customers the way he did Hmm

The kids may have loved it but they're not the ones paying him. OP also commented that the photographer was excellent.

pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 15:01

OP, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

I'm self-employed myself and would never dream of turning up to a job with a bad attitude. I've had to go to work hours after my pets died, while being unwell and while dealing with a whole heap of personal shit - I still stick a smile on my face and do my job properly.

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 15:04

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pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 15:06

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I am one of those tiny businesses - which is why I know how important it is to be pleasant to the people who are paying for your services, lol. Word of mouth spreads really fast. You can't show up with a bad attitude and expect it not to get around.

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 15:07

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pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 15:09

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OP says he wasn't that brilliant with the kids, though.

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 15:19

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Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 15:22

pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 15:01

OP, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

I'm self-employed myself and would never dream of turning up to a job with a bad attitude. I've had to go to work hours after my pets died, while being unwell and while dealing with a whole heap of personal shit - I still stick a smile on my face and do my job properly.

Yes same, self employed also, I always leave all problems behind and put my face on, even when at times Ive been crying on the way to the job. I’m not an entertainer and feel his role required this even more

OP posts:
nomas · 01/08/2026 15:22

Tell the truth, shame the devil.

YANBU.

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 15:24

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pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 15:25

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 15:22

Yes same, self employed also, I always leave all problems behind and put my face on, even when at times Ive been crying on the way to the job. I’m not an entertainer and feel his role required this even more

You're not wrong. The amount of times I've had to sit in my car and give myself a massive talking to before going to work is ridiculous, but I do it and I show up and do my job with a good attitude because no matter what shit is going on behind closed doors, it's not my clients' problem.

rebeccachoc · 01/08/2026 15:33

You didn't give a bad review you pointed out one bad element of a good experience, which was honest and fair. Other people would have been scathing and not mentioned the good bits, like you did so please don't beat yourself up, you did the right thing.

Friendlygingercat · 01/08/2026 15:40

I run a business and sometimes a customer writes a very rude and disrespectful message or leaves a bad review. I have stock responses. They are crisp and professional with no emotion in them. I keep emotion out of business. I would be on the fence over this one as the children (the main guests) enjoyed the performance and presumably did not notice that anything was amiss. However OP says some of the parents did notice and comment. If the review the OP left was favourable over all then I think that mentioning as an aside about the artist's apparent bad mood was fair comment. It might lead him to reflect upon how he sometimes comes across to the people who paid his wages that day.

RemindMeIn15Minutes · 01/08/2026 15:50

pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 14:58

Well, if he's a self-employed one man band, he should know better than to interact with his paying customers the way he did Hmm

The kids may have loved it but they're not the ones paying him. OP also commented that the photographer was excellent.

^This.

If you want a good review, you present yourself well.

OP, your review was factual and accurate about what happened.

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 16:20

I keep thinking what if he was shy or didn’t want the kids to see him

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Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 16:25

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Moonnstarz · 01/08/2026 16:27

What was the description for the entertainer? If it was just to be there and pose for photos with minimal interaction then I would have left it. If you were expecting him to help energise kids, play games with them and this is what the description said would happen then I would give the negative feedback.

UhOhRatPoo · 01/08/2026 16:29

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He dis perform poorly at the job. Communication with the client in a way that does not make them feel uncomfortable is a minimum requirement of the job.

Rachelshair · 01/08/2026 16:30

Your guests noticed, it was unprofessional, he spoiled the atmosphere. So yes I would have been honest too.