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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel guilty for giving a bad review-was I wrong?

92 replies

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 14:46

Dd recently had a birthday party and we hired a company where a man dressed up as a character she loves and played with the kids and a photographer took photos.
We were all happy at the party and they turned up (obviously not in costume) the man who was due to dress up did not answer when we greeted him, he had a face like thunder and stormed through with his bag to the changing room, some of the parents noticed and there were raised eyebrows.
The photographer with him was a nice lady and I spoke with her.
When dressed as the character, he was fine, not hugely animated but the kids enjoyed and the photos were excellent. At the end he rushed out quickly but did at least half smile and said goodbye.
I don’t know his personal life or if he loves or hates doing this job, but I did find it off putting.
I don’t think I’ve written a negative review in my life, but they sent the questionnaire and I filled it with positives about the photos and the photographer. I did say the children enjoyed meeting and playing with this character. When it asked if i’d use again or recommend I ticked ‘Not sure’ instead of ‘Yes, definitely’
On the extra comments box, I mentioned all the positives and that the kids enjoyed it and the photos were great, but I did mention that upon greeting the clients (us) at the party, the man was very unfriendly and angry/miserable looking, didn’t greet us and stormed through and parents noticed and it’s probably not the best start to a happy day where people are celebrating and in good spirits.

Was I mean? I’m now wondering if I should have just left it as maybe he was having a bad day?
On the other hand, I think, well many of us have bad days, that’s life.

OP posts:
Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 19:13

latetothefisting · 01/08/2026 19:06

As pps have said, but he IS the face, if he's the 'character'. If he can't manage the 'basic human interaction' part of his job he's in the wrong job.

Don't second guess yourself - if the other parents noticed too it was clearly obvious. If he'd just been a bit quiet or shy it wouldn't have stuck out to you. He doesn't have to be Mr outgoing (although, again, strange choice of career if he doesn't like interacting with people) but basic politeness and engagement is the absolute bare minimum.

As pp's said, if they ask for feedback it's because they want it. I'd imagine the majority of their work comes from referrals - either word of mouth recommendations from you as the client, or the other parents being impressed and hiring them for their own (or recommending to friends), or positive reviews on their website or SM. By being so rude he's negatively impacted the chance of all three.

I would love to get his feedback on it and why he was like that and if he always is!

OP posts:
latetothefisting · 01/08/2026 19:06

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 18:25

I’m wondering if because they’re in the business together, the more approachable woman photographer is sort of the face of it all and ge just does his bit. Bit weird though!

As pps have said, but he IS the face, if he's the 'character'. If he can't manage the 'basic human interaction' part of his job he's in the wrong job.

Don't second guess yourself - if the other parents noticed too it was clearly obvious. If he'd just been a bit quiet or shy it wouldn't have stuck out to you. He doesn't have to be Mr outgoing (although, again, strange choice of career if he doesn't like interacting with people) but basic politeness and engagement is the absolute bare minimum.

As pp's said, if they ask for feedback it's because they want it. I'd imagine the majority of their work comes from referrals - either word of mouth recommendations from you as the client, or the other parents being impressed and hiring them for their own (or recommending to friends), or positive reviews on their website or SM. By being so rude he's negatively impacted the chance of all three.

AnnaBelIa · 01/08/2026 18:53

You are protecting other customers by telling your story. I think you did the right thing.

Deadleaves77 · 01/08/2026 18:50

Its a feedback form not a review? Why would you feel guilty about honest feedback?

The whole point of a feedback form is they can find out what customers are/aren't liking and why customers might not be coming back. Next time he walks in with a face like a slapped arse it will be a customer who is prepared to post a negative review. Its better they know.

If you want good feedback provide good service. He wasnt worried about your feelings when he stormed in and didn't greet you

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 18:39

Heathertrott2 · 01/08/2026 18:38

Jesus, what did @Mouldybroc say to get every single comment deleted 😂

I don’t know?! 😂

OP posts:
Heathertrott2 · 01/08/2026 18:38

Jesus, what did @Mouldybroc say to get every single comment deleted 😂

Cetera · 01/08/2026 18:29

With respect you sound a bit passive! Why would you think you’ve done anything wrong? They asked for feedback and you gave it honestly. It’s not acceptable to turn up to work in a strop! I manage a customer service team, my staff don’t give customers any attitude, if they did they would be out of a job. The decline in service in the UK is shocking. I have left several negative reviews for businesses. If people do a crap job then honest feedback is fair. I’ve recently ditched our very capable dog groomer due to her poor attitude. Never know what mood she would be in when I turned up and I don’t have the time or inclination to deal with people like that.

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 18:25

I’m wondering if because they’re in the business together, the more approachable woman photographer is sort of the face of it all and ge just does his bit. Bit weird though!

OP posts:
Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 18:23

BunnyLake · 01/08/2026 18:20

Then why would he be a children’s party entertainer? You did the right thing commenting on it on the questionnaire.

Yes, you’re right

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 01/08/2026 18:20

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 16:20

I keep thinking what if he was shy or didn’t want the kids to see him

Then why would he be a children’s party entertainer? You did the right thing commenting on it on the questionnaire.

BunnyLake · 01/08/2026 18:17

If you’re in a service industry, whether that’s as waiting staff, retail, party entertainer, whatever, you can’t just put on a grumpy attitude and expect people to be ok with it. No one wants to re-use the services of a scowling misery guts.

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 16:45

pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 16:45

Then he’s in the wrong job!

Yes true

OP posts:
Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 16:45

Parkerpenny · 01/08/2026 16:34

Private feedback or public review?

It was a private questionnaire, it asked on it if the review could be published on Fb, I ticked no

OP posts:
pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 16:45

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 16:20

I keep thinking what if he was shy or didn’t want the kids to see him

Then he’s in the wrong job!

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 16:43

Moonnstarz · 01/08/2026 16:27

What was the description for the entertainer? If it was just to be there and pose for photos with minimal interaction then I would have left it. If you were expecting him to help energise kids, play games with them and this is what the description said would happen then I would give the negative feedback.

I asked if he would play games, dance and so on, they said yes. He cuddled them, walked around and lifted them up a lot. They took a lot of photos of him with the kids

OP posts:
Parkerpenny · 01/08/2026 16:34

Private feedback or public review?

Disturbia81 · 01/08/2026 16:31

This is a generalisation of course but I do find men find it harder to put on a positive face if they feel rubbish or going through stress.. they want all the world to know.

Rachelshair · 01/08/2026 16:30

Your guests noticed, it was unprofessional, he spoiled the atmosphere. So yes I would have been honest too.

UhOhRatPoo · 01/08/2026 16:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

He dis perform poorly at the job. Communication with the client in a way that does not make them feel uncomfortable is a minimum requirement of the job.

Moonnstarz · 01/08/2026 16:27

What was the description for the entertainer? If it was just to be there and pose for photos with minimal interaction then I would have left it. If you were expecting him to help energise kids, play games with them and this is what the description said would happen then I would give the negative feedback.

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 16:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 16:20

I keep thinking what if he was shy or didn’t want the kids to see him

OP posts:
RemindMeIn15Minutes · 01/08/2026 15:50

pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 14:58

Well, if he's a self-employed one man band, he should know better than to interact with his paying customers the way he did Hmm

The kids may have loved it but they're not the ones paying him. OP also commented that the photographer was excellent.

^This.

If you want a good review, you present yourself well.

OP, your review was factual and accurate about what happened.

Friendlygingercat · 01/08/2026 15:40

I run a business and sometimes a customer writes a very rude and disrespectful message or leaves a bad review. I have stock responses. They are crisp and professional with no emotion in them. I keep emotion out of business. I would be on the fence over this one as the children (the main guests) enjoyed the performance and presumably did not notice that anything was amiss. However OP says some of the parents did notice and comment. If the review the OP left was favourable over all then I think that mentioning as an aside about the artist's apparent bad mood was fair comment. It might lead him to reflect upon how he sometimes comes across to the people who paid his wages that day.

rebeccachoc · 01/08/2026 15:33

You didn't give a bad review you pointed out one bad element of a good experience, which was honest and fair. Other people would have been scathing and not mentioned the good bits, like you did so please don't beat yourself up, you did the right thing.

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