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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel guilty for giving a bad review-was I wrong?

92 replies

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 01/08/2026 14:46

Dd recently had a birthday party and we hired a company where a man dressed up as a character she loves and played with the kids and a photographer took photos.
We were all happy at the party and they turned up (obviously not in costume) the man who was due to dress up did not answer when we greeted him, he had a face like thunder and stormed through with his bag to the changing room, some of the parents noticed and there were raised eyebrows.
The photographer with him was a nice lady and I spoke with her.
When dressed as the character, he was fine, not hugely animated but the kids enjoyed and the photos were excellent. At the end he rushed out quickly but did at least half smile and said goodbye.
I don’t know his personal life or if he loves or hates doing this job, but I did find it off putting.
I don’t think I’ve written a negative review in my life, but they sent the questionnaire and I filled it with positives about the photos and the photographer. I did say the children enjoyed meeting and playing with this character. When it asked if i’d use again or recommend I ticked ‘Not sure’ instead of ‘Yes, definitely’
On the extra comments box, I mentioned all the positives and that the kids enjoyed it and the photos were great, but I did mention that upon greeting the clients (us) at the party, the man was very unfriendly and angry/miserable looking, didn’t greet us and stormed through and parents noticed and it’s probably not the best start to a happy day where people are celebrating and in good spirits.

Was I mean? I’m now wondering if I should have just left it as maybe he was having a bad day?
On the other hand, I think, well many of us have bad days, that’s life.

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Tryagain26 · 04/08/2026 19:50

pinkandwhiteroses · 04/08/2026 15:44

The costume covered his entire face so what would it matter if the kids saw him?

If he hung around and chatted before getting in the costume the children might wonder who is was, what did he want etx
Or he might have been in a hurry and wanted to get into his costume quickly.
Whatever his reasons as long as he engaged with the children and they were happy I don't think it matters that he didn't stop to talk to the adults when he arrived

Atchamps · 04/08/2026 18:07

The fact it was for his eyes only means he probably just shrugged and deleted without further thought. And that is presuming he even bothered to read it

Cherrycompoe · 04/08/2026 15:47

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pinkandwhiteroses · 04/08/2026 15:44

Tryagain26 · 04/08/2026 11:24

She means didn't want the kids to see him.before he was on costume she said he did play with the children as the character

The costume covered his entire face so what would it matter if the kids saw him?

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 04/08/2026 15:40

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Yes…Oh dear! 😂

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Cherrycompoe · 04/08/2026 15:39

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Sunglassesonthetabletop · 04/08/2026 15:10

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Fairly clearly…? Ok 👍

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Cherrycompoe · 04/08/2026 13:52

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Sunglassesonthetabletop · 04/08/2026 13:51

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??

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Alphonsethatisnotoktodo · 04/08/2026 12:59

I think in snapshot sort of situations, where it’s only a brief encounter with someone, it’s better to be forgiving as you never know what someone is going through. Perhaps he’d had awful news or something stressful happened on the way over, but he turned up and didn’t let your dc down. That said, it was private feedback, so I wouldn’t worry about it - he probably knows he was grumpy!

BillieWiper · 04/08/2026 12:54

You felt the way you did and said so. Hopefully the guy will realize he needs to be on form and friendly for the whole gig, not just while in costume.

To me personally I'm not sure if I'd care he was monosyllabic to me as long as he entertained the kids well, but they want feedback to improve and you gave it.

Cherrycompoe · 04/08/2026 12:48

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Sunglassesonthetabletop · 04/08/2026 12:16

Tryagain26 · 04/08/2026 11:21

I wonder if he was in a hurry and wanted to rush to get changed and in costume without the children seeing him.
For me the main thing would be if he did the job you paid him for. Were the children happy? Did they believe he was who he was supposed to be? and was he in character all the time he was in costume? Did the children go away content?
Having said that if your review was factually correct and balanced then I don't think you should worry about it.

Yes maybe and then I do feel bad if so!

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Tryagain26 · 04/08/2026 11:24

pinkandwhiteroses · 01/08/2026 16:45

Then he’s in the wrong job!

She means didn't want the kids to see him.before he was on costume she said he did play with the children as the character

Tryagain26 · 04/08/2026 11:21

I wonder if he was in a hurry and wanted to rush to get changed and in costume without the children seeing him.
For me the main thing would be if he did the job you paid him for. Were the children happy? Did they believe he was who he was supposed to be? and was he in character all the time he was in costume? Did the children go away content?
Having said that if your review was factually correct and balanced then I don't think you should worry about it.

Tringtomoz · 03/08/2026 16:44

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Tringtomoz · 03/08/2026 16:43

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allthingsinmoderation · 03/08/2026 15:59

You gave honest feedback on your experience that they solicited ,so ,i don't think you should feel bad.
You did say positive things about the experience too.
The most important part of the man dressing as a character was his interaction with the children and you mentioned that was positive.
Your main complaint seems to have been the attitude of the man when not in character, which is your prerogative to mention.

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 03/08/2026 15:04

Smallitch · 03/08/2026 14:22

You said you get very anxious
So I asked if you’d checked and a had a visual of his dbs

I get anxious in terms of being a bit of a people pleaser and not wanting to upset people
I didn’t see anything visual about a check. We were all with him when he was with the kids.

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Smallitch · 03/08/2026 14:22

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 03/08/2026 14:12

I’m not sure what else you’re asking?!

You said you get very anxious
So I asked if you’d checked and a had a visual of his dbs

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 03/08/2026 14:12

Moonnstarz · 03/08/2026 13:49

Do they? I thought if they are not left alone with children then you don't need DBS?

I assumed they would to start the company? I really don’t know. He was not left alone with the children and was in our view the whole time

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Sunglassesonthetabletop · 03/08/2026 14:12

Smallitch · 03/08/2026 13:48

WTAF

I’m not sure what else you’re asking?!

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newberry · 03/08/2026 13:50

Smallitch · 03/08/2026 13:48

WTAF

Think it was a rhetorical question

Moonnstarz · 03/08/2026 13:49

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 03/08/2026 13:46

Has to be legally

Do they? I thought if they are not left alone with children then you don't need DBS?

Smallitch · 03/08/2026 13:48

Sunglassesonthetabletop · 03/08/2026 13:47

Do you think he was a pedo?

WTAF

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