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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to snap after my mum kept calling a bike a trike?

361 replies

Crayo · 01/08/2026 14:43

i am looking to get my daughter her first bike. She’s 5 and has had a balance bike before but never a real bike. Everytime I speak to my mum she asks me if I’ve found a “trike” yet. I keep telling her it’s a bike I’m getting, 2 wheels” and she always says “oh yes, you know what I mean”.

Well this has been going on weeks and literally everytime I speak to her she asks about the “trike” and I constantly correct her and say “bike”. She does have a habit of asking the same question for weeks at a time and she also has form for deliberately saying the wrong words for attention and it’s tiring.

this morning I was at my mums and my sister was there. I went to toilet and when I came back my sister said “not being funny but isn’t DD old enough for a proper bike now?” I asked what she was on about as I am getting her a proper bike and she said “mum! You said she was getting a trike!”

So I lost it, screamed and shouted “stop saying it’s a fucking trike!! You know it’s not so just fucking stop it”

my sister said “Jesus Christ is there any need for that?” So I told her she’s been saying trike for weeks and it’s winding me up so she said “she gets mixed up, there’s no need to scream like that” but the annoying part is she doesn’t get mixed up!!! She does it on purpose and has been doing this for years!

OP posts:
ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 01/08/2026 20:13

pouletvous · 01/08/2026 17:11

dont be silly. Trike is definitely a three wheeler to anyone who understands English

Yes, but sometimes people use generic words habitually without thinking whether they make sense at all in the context - even people who have English as their native language.

People call a quadricycle a 'quad bike'; people call a penny 'one pence'; people call a die 'a dice'. It irritates me when I hear this, as I am a pedant; but let's not pretend that nobody ever does do this.

FeeLipa · 01/08/2026 20:05

Mil deliberately pronounces jiu jitsu wrong. DS has been going to classes since he was 4 and is almost 13. He is asked weekly how his jahowl heehotsuu is going. No one has ever laughed, I do fantasize about loosing my shit but I just avoid being in the same room as her.

Jc2001 · 01/08/2026 20:04

Crayo · 01/08/2026 14:55

It should have done should it! But with my mum you mention something once and she’ll then ask about it every single time she speaks to you for weeks afterwards.

I still have anger issues about the fucking bonsai tree saga.

I think you have anger issues, full stop.

Teenytini · 01/08/2026 20:04

Contrarymary30 · 01/08/2026 16:24

No but swearing at your Mother is never acceptable no matter what the dynamic . Just get some self control maybe ?

Some mums definitely deserve to be sworn at. You’re very lucky to have not realised this before now.

mathanxiety · 01/08/2026 20:03

UniquePinkSwan · 01/08/2026 18:35

Why does it matter? My gran used to call all toddler bikes trikes. It really isn’t a big deal

It's not a toddler bike. The child is not a toddler.

YoQuieroVino · 01/08/2026 20:01

godmum56 · 01/08/2026 19:59

it gets much easier with practice

I’ve been practicing for 40 years but I still fail sometimes.

godmum56 · 01/08/2026 19:59

YoQuieroVino · 01/08/2026 19:53

Sometimes, when someone has spent a lot of your life deliberately trying to wind you up, it’s very hard not to get wound up. We’re only human.

it gets much easier with practice

YoQuieroVino · 01/08/2026 19:53

godmum56 · 01/08/2026 18:55

yup as i said upthread, OP was massively pwned

Sometimes, when someone has spent a lot of your life deliberately trying to wind you up, it’s very hard not to get wound up. We’re only human.

YoQuieroVino · 01/08/2026 19:44

pouletvous · 01/08/2026 18:49

Isnt it odd!! What’s the reason do you think?

My DH thinks my mum just doesn’t listen. I don’t think it’s that. For some reason she wants me to think that what I say is so trivial to her that she can’t possibly be expected to remember.

VideoVox · 01/08/2026 19:37

What was her word for bonsai?

magicpractice · 01/08/2026 18:59

Contrarymary30 · 01/08/2026 16:05

I can't ever imagine screaming and swearing at my mother for whatever reason . That is less acceptable than using the wrong word for a trike /bike . Get a grip .

You probably had a nice one. I snapped and called my mum a bullying bitch once before I stopped speaking to her at all

godmum56 · 01/08/2026 18:55

backformoreofthesame · 01/08/2026 18:33

If she does it to wind you up well it worked doesn’t it

yup as i said upthread, OP was massively pwned

WiddlinDiddlin · 01/08/2026 18:49

Oh that'd get on my tits - I'd say 'Oh Mum... do we need to get you checked for dementia, only you've been told x times its a bicycle. it's very concerning you can't remember words you've been told several times and can't tell the difference between a bicycle and a tricycle...'

Or just ignore it, chances are she is doing it to get a reaction and to show how very little she cares for what you say.

My Dad had a habit of calling my mobility scooter and then wheelchair 'a buggy' or 'a chariot' - partly to annoy, but also to hide the fact he really DIDN'T want to admit I am disabled and need such things.

I'd go back to that if we could, these days he has forgotten I need such things completely, remembers me at around age 18, and is shocked and upset every time he sees or is reminded that I use a wheelchair.

I genuinely think I preferred him an irritating and rude person than a sad confused person!

pouletvous · 01/08/2026 18:49

WestwardHo1 · 01/08/2026 17:23

My mum used to pretend she had never heard me mention my university friends. She feigned baffled incomprehension when I mentioned "Kate" for example at the end of my third year. I had lived with Kate for two of the three years yet she said in an incredulous tone "I've never heard you mention Kate in my life"

So either you are lying or you weren't listening. Go mum.

Isnt it odd!! What’s the reason do you think?

AgentJohnson · 01/08/2026 18:48

Calling it a trike is like saying “it’s not a big deal”.

It really isn’t. That’s the narrative you’ve chosen to adopt.

If she does it to get attention then you have given her exactly what she wanted and more importantly, an incentive to keep on doing it.

You always had the option to ignore her but you chose not to. You can’t control her, only how you choose to react.

BobbysDazzler · 01/08/2026 18:45

What happened to tolerance?

Good luck when you get older, it comes to a lot of us, starts at peri menopause, gets worse at menopause and downhill onwards really.....

Samewrinklesnewname · 01/08/2026 18:40

ScrollingLeaves · 01/08/2026 14:46

How do you know she doesn’t have a lot in her mind, leading to her forgetting, or early dementia?

I had a wee bet with myself as to how many posts in it would take till someone mentioned early dementia….having had a parent diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in their 50s can I respectfully ask that people stop fucking doing this.

People can be thick and pig ignorant like OP’s mother without it being dementia!!!

FriendlyNPC · 01/08/2026 18:37

mathanxiety · 01/08/2026 14:48

Any other annoying traits that have in common a misplaced idea of what constitutes humor?

I know an older person who doesn't understand humour, never has, and wouldn't understand why others wouldn't find this sort of 'joke' funny. Strongly suspect this older person is (never diagnosed) neurodivergent. There are other elements of behaviour and personality that go toward forming the suspicion too.

Yeah this is the sort of shit my dad does, it isn't funny, it's supremely annoying, but show any sign of exasperation and he gets all "calm down, it's a joke" and then I'm even more annoyed.

Shodan · 01/08/2026 18:35

TheBlueKoala · 01/08/2026 18:13

I'm petty so I would probably do the same to her. Does she like swimming? Call it aquagym. Does she like knitting call it garning etc.

I have to admit, I did this in the end.

Mum liked to paint- watercolours, specifically. I listened to many a tale of how she managed to get the light just right on this bit, or the shadow just right on that bit.

But when she used to ask about my 'judo', I would respond by asking about her portrait painting 😋

UniquePinkSwan · 01/08/2026 18:35

Why does it matter? My gran used to call all toddler bikes trikes. It really isn’t a big deal

backformoreofthesame · 01/08/2026 18:33

If she does it to wind you up well it worked doesn’t it

Bonkers1966 · 01/08/2026 18:33

Your mum sounds very annoying. Got me thinking. Mine once told me she wouldn't care if I died in childbirth. Lovely woman who defo knew her bikes from her trikes. You've got this OP. Onwards and upwards.

LastMinuteAgain · 01/08/2026 18:20

Beautyfadesdumbisforever · 01/08/2026 16:39

Back in the day where I grew up, a small 2 wheeled bike that had 2 stabilisers on was called a Trike.
It was still called a Trike when the stabilisers were taken off.
it generally just meant very small Bike.

Back in the day when I was growing up people used to call cars buses, after all a car is just a small bus for families.

Or maybe that's utter nonsense.

Error404FucksNotFound · 01/08/2026 18:16

If you believe she is doing it for attention (although what attention? The attention of being corrected?) Then the best thing to do is to act like she said the right word and carry on with the conversation you use the right word and pretend she did too.

TheBlueKoala · 01/08/2026 18:13

Crayo · 01/08/2026 16:14

I’ve been thinking about it and I think the reason I blew up this time was because it felt like she had started the same old shit with DD. I came to the conclusion that she does it with me to minimise everything I do - “forgets” the right word for stuff to show me how unimportant my thing is.

A kids first bike is a big deal and deliberately calling it a trike is like saying “it’s not a big deal” and I don’t want her doing this to DD

I'm petty so I would probably do the same to her. Does she like swimming? Call it aquagym. Does she like knitting call it garning etc.

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