AIBU to snap after my mum kept calling a bike a trike?

People won't understand unless they have a mother that does similar.

My mother enjoys 'name dropping' - people from the 'old families round here'. None of us ever has a clue who she's talking about. I think it's some weird attempt to feel / look important and well-connected.

She also constantly, repeatedly gets people's names wrong when it's not an English name - it's very clearly deliberate and an attempt to show she thinks the name is unreasonable so she attempts to anglicise it or pretends she can't say it right.

She's always done it. It's not dementia. It's incredibly irritating.

If she's doing it for attention you need to stop feeding into that. Just change the subject and move on.

Please be patient with her. My dear mother used to do similar and was eventually diagnosed with dementia.

This thread has reminded me of the trike I had when I was a child. I'd completely forgotten about it. I must've been about 5 years old. I loved that trike, it had coloured streamers on the handle bars. They were very common for kids in the 60's/70's. Haven't seen one for years come to think of it.

Sounds like most of the Soaps! But I know what you mean, I have a lovely friend who uses so much energy dealing with family dramas that seem to blow up on an almost weekly basis and usually over who said what to who over some plans for a bit of dinner and Christmas is a minefield

Doubt it. I reckon the Op is probably round her mum’s now having a roast served. All the while feeling pissed off about something or another

Why subject yourself to it?

What a horrible way to talk to your mother. Just get the bike and stop making a drama out of nothing.

I wouldn't worry about it, OP. It wasn't great to shout at her, but also not the end of the world. People snap at one another from time to time. We usually get over it and life goes on.

Suggestions to ignore her are probably best, unless you think expressing worry about her cognitive condition would be more effective. I'd feel a bit superstitious about that one, myself, but if it made her stop the nonsense, it might be worth it. However, someone who's been doing this her whole life is unlikely to change, so the best option is probably to try your best not to care.

Although... You could just put it all out there next time it happens. Explain that it makes you feel dismissed and unimportant when she doesn't bother to use the correct word. And every time she does it, make that point again. I doubt it would be worth the effort, but if it would make you feel better to call it what it is, maybe so.

I think this is probably the last straw. I remember the French have a word for small acts of “naughtiness” - one won’t get you into trouble but a whole string of them will. This sounds like the same sort of thing.

Either this is symptomatic of other issues in your relationship or you have anger issues.

Reasonable ones I’d guess

The op refers to this as going on throughout her entire life

Clearly you don't understand.

Yeah people don't get it but I've experienced it and it's maddening.

My ex friend did stuff like this. I knew her since we were children and I'd see her bizarre competitiveness. I got really into running in my 30s. Other people would remark, just a throwaway like "saw you did another marathon, bloody hell - impressive" before moving on.

I'd see her stiffen then she'd revisit the topic for absolutely no reason but refer to my JOGGING - every bloody time. I laughed the first few times saying "it's running come on, even if sometimes it's jogging at least say running..." She would twitch then immediately ask another question using the word jogging. Other times she'd bring it up "are you still doing a bit of jogging?" Ridiculous.

If I tried to explain to anyone I know I'd get the reaction you're getting here so I'd just inwardly roll my eyes and think how sad.

I envy people who don’t have a mother who wears you down with things like this to such an extent that you eventually snap.

Tbh if you thought your behaviour was fine you wouldn’t be posting here

OK, that makes sense. I can see why you blew up, although it would have been better to go with the cleverer replies suggested by others.

You have two options if you want to address this with her rather than ignore it - and her.

1. Set out clearly what you think about why she does this and how you’re going to respond.
2. Go with the smart response about suggesting she sees her GP as she can’t remember simple words.

She sounds incredibly annoying.

Dh and I bought dfil a bonsai tree. He liked it so we bought another one. Dmil referred to it as a "Banzai tree. ". Dh built a model Japanese aeroplane kit and placed it in the foliage. It was taken in the spirit of the malapropism.

Does it really matter????

What a lot of assumptions you’ve made there.

You did overreact, but I know how annoying this can be. A friend was obviously bothered in some way by an activity I do, and would often ask me about it, getting it slightly wrong. So think instead of ‘how is your unicycle crocheting going’ it would be ‘are you still enjoying underwater basket weaving’ ? In the end I just ignored the ‘mistake’ and it stopped.

These enmeshed families sound so unpleasant. All spend loads of time together, probably holiday together and use each other for childcare etc - but no one actually likes one another. And constant simmering tension and resentment. What a horror show. And the kids growing up in it all think that this is how normal families operate

Did you fart?

Massive overreaction and definitely unreasonable to shout and swear at her. I envy you if that’s your biggest worry in life.

This sounds like just a sort of thing my mum would say so I can really sympathise with you OP. I’ll be honest, I deliberately patronise my mum now by saying “ now come on Mum, try and think and remember what the right word is because we have talked about this a lot”. That way, I’m being perfectly polite to her, but she absolutely hates it and sometimes it does stop her being so irritating!! My mum definitely does these sorts of things deliberately, it sounds like yours is too, it is so frustrating.