AIBU to snap after my mum kept calling a bike a trike?

I don't know where you got that from saying.As the op is the one who scream shouted and swore at her mother with several f words

People are so weird projecting their own issues onto other people.

I can see it's a bit annoying but surely you just say "yes, found one" when she mentions the bike. I
Absolutely no need to scream or shout in this scenario.

I visit her around once a month/six weeks.

Your poor mum 😢 Really, was there any need for that disgusting outburst? My mum is 86 and I have learned to choose my battles carefully. You should apologise.

Christ on a trike, YABU. My mother is difficult too but I’d never lose it like that. My sister does at times, but not over something as pathetic. Roll your eyes and ignore it. Apologise to your mother.

Yes, I think that's it, most children do have their first proper bike when they are about 4 or 5. My DS was behind in this because he has slight dyspraxia and couldn't ride one until about 7 or 8, there were other things he found difficult also but it was just one of those things.

This

Very insightful and I think maybe nailed it

I feel like OP is more annoyed about what the mistake represents than the mistake itself. i.e. people thinking her daughter is slow or developmentally delayed because she can only ride a trike when she should be riding a bike at her age. Especially after the comment from the sister. I really think this is the real issue here. I doubt OP would be so het up if the mum was saying something wrong that didn’t have the same effect.

FIL was like this. Used to call the GC pram a ‘trolley’. Did it with them all. Drove me bonkers!!

But being genuinely confused is very different to what you're describing.

What I and the original poster is talking about is where the mother is doing it most likely entirely deliberately.

The examples I gave of my mother are her being a windart merchant, knowing that she's saying the wrong thing and doing it deliberately just to wind me up.

I thought she was just genuinely confused or forgotten.I wouldn't have got so angry with her

I think the op knows her own mother.

I get words muddled all the time. It really annoys my son. Have done it all my life though and there is no malice in its He/she and dinner/breakfast and dance/gymnastics as examples. I 100% know what I’m trying to say but the wrong word comes out. Most people in my family ignore me and after a few seconds if I realise I’ll try and correct myself.

Must be annoying sometimes but definitely am not doing it on purpose. I think if someone had a go at me like you did to your mum I’d probably start crying as I genuinely can’t help it.

I wish the only concern I had about my mum was her calling something the wrong thing

How often do you see her?

I was making light of the possibility of it being neither a bike or "a fucking trike" 👍

My mum is exactly the same! She will make comments to me like ‘oh you’re so calm and collected aren’t you, just like your father’ (they’re divorced) then deliberately try and wind me up to prove that I’m not calm and collected.

The problem with looking concerned and saying that she should go to the doctor is that this is still a form of attention, which she will really enjoy (even negative attention is still attention).

I've derailed the thread a little bit too as well.But perhaps we haven't, because it's similar to what the op has to deal with. So movies maybe it helps to hear that her mother's not the only one that does this.

It wasn't just miss pronouncing words.My mum will completely use a different word to represent something else.And then just shrug, and say, oh, you know what I mean.

Sometimes she pauses and looks at me with a smile to see if I'll say something and I just ignore her now. I don't think she realises how utterly stupid she makes herself look.

Back in the nineties, british airways did a lot of catchy adverts with music and songs. I was a child back then still at primary school. One particular british airways advert had a catchy song on it - she used to sing along and say stupid things and pronounce the words incorrectly - she'd sing along saying OOH LALA in time with the music. She did it constantly until the advert was over and she knew it really pissed me off and she sounded absolutely ridiculous.

We lived in a flat and once when we were in bed, but not asleep yet and I could hear the t v through the wall that advert came on.And she started singing loudly OOH LALA for the entire duration of the advert, because she knew there was a possibility we were awake and could hear her. So even if she was alone in a room she still did it for attention just in case she could be heard.

If I asked her to stop it she'd say they're singing silly things so why I can't I.
I don't understand it.I've never understood it, but my mum's always wanted attention for saying silly things and deliberately saying the wrong words.

You're right, i also get that - you think you're so smart. You know everything don't you - she turns it into we're putting her down and being arrogant rather than simply correcting her and asking her to say the right words.

Anyway, enough about me. I can understand why the op has snapped, but it's really not worth screaming and shouting and swearing - just ignore her.

This. On the face of it you seem U but I dont think anyone who hasnt experienced the full context can understand how maddening it is. But you have got to work out another way of responding to it or you'll just drive yourself mad and ruin your relationship with your mum.

You need to either stop reacting at all, so just pretend she has said the correct word and respond e.g. in this case "no, still looking,"

or instead of snapping look genuinely bemused "no? Why would I get a trike? What an odd thing to say?" Really over exaggerate it and laugh at her as if she is slow. Roll your eyes at your sister and say "another example....!" as if she's left out of a private joke, or say to dd "granny thinks you are getting a baby trike, silly granny" etc.

Pps have suggested possible early dementia and you could even go down this route, looking concerned, getting out your phone and making an ostentatious note of the time and date "mum, im really worried about you, you keep saying the wrong words despite being corrected, I've looked online and thats one of the main indicators of dementia, I really think we should go to the doctor."

If you're right and she's getting some sort of psychological pleasure from saying the wrong thing then if she doesn't get any reaction or one that makes her feel embarrassed and stupid she'll stop doing it, at least to you.

I have similar stories. I'm convinced my mum does it to try and wind me up on purpose because if I ignore it, she keeps escalating it.
I have wondered if I'm oversensitive and ratty but my young adult son has noticed it too (without prompting from me) which confirmed I wasn't going mad!

She does it in a lighthearted breezy way so it's easy to miss the intent unless you're the subject of the needling.

I'm quite a stoical person and always have been, even as a child, which seemed to irritate my mother. She and the rest of the family are more emotional and vocal. She's said a couple of times "you seem to think you're better than the rest of us". (I really dont think that.) She will keep goading to see if I lose my cool as if to say "see you aren't so perfect". Aaargghh. Sorry have selfishly derailed thread talking about myself!

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