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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to snap after my mum kept calling a bike a trike?

361 replies

Crayo · 01/08/2026 14:43

i am looking to get my daughter her first bike. She’s 5 and has had a balance bike before but never a real bike. Everytime I speak to my mum she asks me if I’ve found a “trike” yet. I keep telling her it’s a bike I’m getting, 2 wheels” and she always says “oh yes, you know what I mean”.

Well this has been going on weeks and literally everytime I speak to her she asks about the “trike” and I constantly correct her and say “bike”. She does have a habit of asking the same question for weeks at a time and she also has form for deliberately saying the wrong words for attention and it’s tiring.

this morning I was at my mums and my sister was there. I went to toilet and when I came back my sister said “not being funny but isn’t DD old enough for a proper bike now?” I asked what she was on about as I am getting her a proper bike and she said “mum! You said she was getting a trike!”

So I lost it, screamed and shouted “stop saying it’s a fucking trike!! You know it’s not so just fucking stop it”

my sister said “Jesus Christ is there any need for that?” So I told her she’s been saying trike for weeks and it’s winding me up so she said “she gets mixed up, there’s no need to scream like that” but the annoying part is she doesn’t get mixed up!!! She does it on purpose and has been doing this for years!

OP posts:
Anyahyacinth · 01/08/2026 15:34

AnitaCam · 01/08/2026 14:56

She has a different brain than you. Get over it. You’re mean.

I can't help thinking of 'The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat"....it could so easily be something neurological, specific and brain related. Potentially something undramatic but real for DM.

I think the really pathological thing is getting enraged by something you can easily understand (what is meant, ignore the mistake and reply to the query)

If we normalise rage in relation to this, how would people cope with delayed communication in grandchildren, post brain injury / stroke communication or very simple word blindness as our brains age, go through hormonal changes?

Are all those things a plot too?

Nousernameideaaga · 01/08/2026 15:28

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 01/08/2026 14:47

My mum used to call me a slut and tell me the only good thing about me was that I was pretty.

You need to simmer down.

😢

sorry that happened to you 😢

AgedPudding · 01/08/2026 15:27

To me, this is the equivalent of ppl who say ‘house’ when they mean ‘home’ in conversation with a flat-dweller

I've never thought of that. I always say 'your house' - to a few people I know who live in bungalows. Wonder if I'm annoying them?

OuijaBoard · 01/08/2026 15:26

Yes.

NullaEffugium · 01/08/2026 15:26

BluntButEmpathic · 01/08/2026 15:25

🤣 when will mumsnet add a laughter reaction!

It had one but was then abused.

BluntButEmpathic · 01/08/2026 15:25

Vodkamartini3olives · 01/08/2026 14:58

Maybe just hurry up and buy the triike then she won't keep asking. I expect after weeks of talk about it your daughter is keen to get triking.

🤣 when will mumsnet add a laughter reaction!

Everythingtidy · 01/08/2026 15:25

Remember Hanlon’s Razor OP:
Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Autumngirl5 · 01/08/2026 15:24

You sound completely ridiculous. Are you really that bored?

Rothburypixie · 01/08/2026 15:22

What kind of Trike were you thinking if getting DD?

FaceEatingLeopard · 01/08/2026 15:21

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EverMissWicklowSometimes · 01/08/2026 15:21

Call her Dad every time you speak to her from now on.

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 15:21

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Soontobe60 · 01/08/2026 15:20

pouletvous · 01/08/2026 14:48

my mother does this too. Dont bite. That’s what she wants

it’s deliberately antagonistic

she knows what she’s doing

Maybe she has dementia too.

honeylulu · 01/08/2026 15:20

I started off thinking you were irritable and intolerant of your mum's habits but then I read this (and I can see OP agrees it hits the nail on the head):

In my case though it went on for over a decade and I'm positive was a ploy to be dismissive about something I cared about, but she thought was 'silly'.

This is/was absolutely true for my mother and it drove me insane. She'd say the same thing over and over trying to piss me off. I mainly didn't rise to it but a couple of times I lost it and snapped at her, then she would be hurt and offended for months. In isolation the examples sound silly but it's about someone taking joy from your life by slyly and repeatedly mocking something they don't "approve" of.

Overtheatlantic · 01/08/2026 15:20

I would mess with her and stare blankly and say “I never said I was buying her a trike, or anything like that. You feeling ok, mum?”

Travsmam · 01/08/2026 15:19

Yep……..I know EXACTLY where you’re coming from. It an absolute fucking wind up!!!!! They know what they are doing. My mam was exactly the same and it used to make me grit my teeth so hard it hurt. I would do what one poster said and threaten her with a trip to the docs for a test.

Lifeomars · 01/08/2026 15:19

I'm a bit unusual on here because really loved my mum and I got on very well with my mother in law. Even after I got divorced I still saw my then ex MIL and mourned her when she died, like my mum she was a decent, kind and generous person. The mere thought of screaming and swearing at my mum is an anathema to me. My dad was abusive, cruel and unkind and I kept my adult interactions with him very boundaried, I sitll never swore or shouted at him; you've lost once you go down to that level

Yetone · 01/08/2026 15:19

As with all these far too enmeshed family arguments, just give your mother a wide berth for a couple of months. Nobody should be seeing someone who constantly irritates them.

Anyahyacinth · 01/08/2026 15:17

We go to a cafe...I'm always saying let's split a Bath Bun ...they sell Begian Buns my pal laughs if I do it, I try to remember..for some reason they are interchangeable in my head. I know they are different

Its such a small thing, can't imagine not just accepting what was meant...a very small act of love

NullaEffugium · 01/08/2026 15:16

itsgettingweird · 01/08/2026 15:11

I find MN fascinating at times.

If this was a wife saying that her DH always ignored what she was calling things and deliberately said something close but not quite 100% wrong (eg karate/judo or bike/trike) the OP would be being told it’s gaslighting and abusive and deliberate to undermine her.

Yes because it’s a female older person ……:

O maintain the reactions wrong but that doesn’t mean her mums actions are right.

No, I would not call that gaslighting. Gaslighting isn’t being annoying by not caring enough to distinguish between two very similar, often equal things. Gaslighting is making the person question reality.

pimplebum · 01/08/2026 15:16

Crayo · 01/08/2026 14:55

It should have done should it! But with my mum you mention something once and she’ll then ask about it every single time she speaks to you for weeks afterwards.

I still have anger issues about the fucking bonsai tree saga.

You sound like you are having THE MOST BORING conversations ever

can one or both if you have an affair get a terminal disease or get a large growth on hour arse that looks like a celebrity ?

going forward do not discuss mundane things and if you must, just do it the once ignore all references she makes to topic already

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 15:15

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theneighbourhadaladder · 01/08/2026 15:14

It's frustrating, but make it a game to ignore her.
She's doing it for attention, why are you giving it to her?

Velvera · 01/08/2026 15:11

Have you spoke to her about how it wheelie gets on your nerves? Tell her you are two tired to listen and hope she back pedals before you brake down.

itsgettingweird · 01/08/2026 15:11

I find MN fascinating at times.

If this was a wife saying that her DH always ignored what she was calling things and deliberately said something close but not quite 100% wrong (eg karate/judo or bike/trike) the OP would be being told it’s gaslighting and abusive and deliberate to undermine her.

Yes because it’s a female older person ……:

O maintain the reactions wrong but that doesn’t mean her mums actions are right.