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Summer holiday DH resentment!

119 replies

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 11:59

Anyone else absolutely resent their DH during the summer holidays? He just fucks off first thing in the morning. Waltzes back in at around 7:30pm might just mention that he’s off to a “meeting” or “choir practice” which then leads to a pint with his mates (this happens about 2/3 times a week) Meanwhile im a prisoner in my own home with 2 crazy kids trying to WFH 3 days a week with no ability to just leave my own home without kids screaming, fights needing sorting, clothes to change, socks to find etc etc. If I mentioned last minute to my DH that I “had a meeting” (committee meetings not work meetings) and did it about 3 times a week there would be uproar!! Literally hating my life and the situation im in right now, found myself resenting the kids yesterday! I packed them into the car at 9:00pm the other evening because we were home alone yet again just to go for a spin in the car so i could delay bedtime as much as possible . Filling our days with activities never goes well because they HATE leaving the house 🙈

OP posts:
EllaAtLarge · 01/08/2026 13:51

So he’s getting cash in hand tax-free from his dad? Since otherwise how can he afford to go to the pub?

You’re not his housewife. You’re a working mum. And you are a skivvy.

My mum was a full time housewife - she had respect from my dad. She managed the household finances, he had his chores at home (admittedly not many) and he did them without complaint.

Being a housewife isn’t supposed to feel like enslavement.

thepariscrimefiles · 01/08/2026 13:46

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:44

We only have my salary anyway. He does not get paid. He works free labour for the farm he will inherit.

Do his parents own the house you live in? If so, do you pay them rent out of your salary?

If you do, stop paying it right now.

I would imagine that your in-laws give him money that you never see, probably in cash. You are being massively financially abused.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 01/08/2026 13:38

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:45

he will move back with his parents

Let him, sounds like your life would be easier

BessPorgy · 01/08/2026 13:34

Do you want to live the rest of your life like this? Surely any option is better than staying with this useless selfish idiot. I simply cannot get my head round the fact that women are still living like this in this century in the western world.

Ibi · 01/08/2026 13:31

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:31

He wouldn’t go, hed give me the silent treatment, ring his mates to say he wasnt coming because i was stopping him and in a mood about it

Well so what? Why do you care what his mates think? I’m astounded that he’s been like this forever and you could fancy him enough to date him, let alone marry and have children with him. He sounds pathetic, incompetent, and pretty stupid.

Sereine · 01/08/2026 13:29

What's the score with where you live, OP? Do his parents own it?

cadburyegg · 01/08/2026 13:26

AppleKatie · 01/08/2026 12:47

I think his parents would be an excellent place for him to reside.

are you seriously paying for everything and looking after the kids whilst he works for free on the family farm and doesn’t contribute at home?

fuck that for a game of soldiers.

I agree

I kicked out my husband for far less than this 💅

Sereine · 01/08/2026 13:25

AppleKatie · 01/08/2026 12:47

I think his parents would be an excellent place for him to reside.

are you seriously paying for everything and looking after the kids whilst he works for free on the family farm and doesn’t contribute at home?

fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Have you ever asked him how he thinks his children would be fed and clothed if you were a good little housewife all the time and didn't earn any money?

Sereine · 01/08/2026 13:23

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:36

Believe me my son is being taught right much to the disgust of my mother in law. “What do you mean you make them put tgeir plates in the sink?!” “What do you mean they have to put their clothes in the washing machine” “what do you mean they help you make their lunch boxes?” “ what do you mean he can naked a cup of tea??!” These are all things shes actually said

I hope you point out regularly to her what century she is living in? And that you would be ashamed to raise children to be as utterly helpless as her son?

shhblackbag · 01/08/2026 13:22

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:44

We only have my salary anyway. He does not get paid. He works free labour for the farm he will inherit.

This is utterly ridiculous. Honestly. Just leave the fucker.

Sereine · 01/08/2026 13:20

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:31

He wouldn’t go, hed give me the silent treatment, ring his mates to say he wasnt coming because i was stopping him and in a mood about it

If he wants to cut off his nose to spite his face, fine. He'll soon get tired enough of never being able to go out just because he's too helpless to find a shirt.

shhblackbag · 01/08/2026 13:19

Crushed23 · 01/08/2026 12:23

I literally have ZERO sympathy for women in your position, OP.

I don’t give a fuck if that makes me a heartless ghoul, it’s the truth.

You chose a useless cunt of a husband then HAD MULTIPLE CHILDREN with said useless cunt, and now you’re scratching your head as to how you got here? Give me a break.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt despair at a thread and I’m on holiday right now so more chilled than usual (mind you, I’ve had a drink).

Same. I just don't get it.

Sereine · 01/08/2026 13:18

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:17

No he is not capable.

Tell him he can bloody learn. Why should you have an extra child to cater for just because he chooses to be so helpless?

Sereine · 01/08/2026 13:16

They were not in bed because DH waltzed in that night at 7:30, ruined the bed time routine, wanted his supper announced he was off to a meeting, wanted me to pick out his clothes, wash a certain shirt, iron it, clean it

Please tell us you at least told him to fuck right off and sort out his own clothes?

BettyJoanPerske · 01/08/2026 13:14

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:28

What can i say, thought he would respect me enough to help

Oh, you thought that? Based on what, exactly. This situation is entirely of your own making.

Clearinguptheclutter · 01/08/2026 13:14

My df is a bit like this (not a farmer) in that he can’t do anything. He went from living with his dm to living with my dm.
he can’t do anything, but I blame my dm for enabling this for the last 53 years!

he fully respects my dm though.

I am not sure you are getting anything from this relationship OP. I’d leave, or turf him out if it’s your place he is living in

BettyJoanPerske · 01/08/2026 13:13

Crushed23 · 01/08/2026 12:23

I literally have ZERO sympathy for women in your position, OP.

I don’t give a fuck if that makes me a heartless ghoul, it’s the truth.

You chose a useless cunt of a husband then HAD MULTIPLE CHILDREN with said useless cunt, and now you’re scratching your head as to how you got here? Give me a break.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt despair at a thread and I’m on holiday right now so more chilled than usual (mind you, I’ve had a drink).

Same. Made bed lie.

MsPrufrockk · 01/08/2026 13:12

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:44

We only have my salary anyway. He does not get paid. He works free labour for the farm he will inherit.

Great, you can kick him out and be confident you can manage without him.

Breadlegs · 01/08/2026 13:11

I'd drop the kids found to mil for your work days.

I would also pick out shirts that have slogans on the back. "Oh sorry dh, did I pick up the 'im a massive twat' shirt again?"

MsPrufrockk · 01/08/2026 13:11

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:31

He wouldn’t go, hed give me the silent treatment, ring his mates to say he wasnt coming because i was stopping him and in a mood about it

So what? I had sympathy for your OP, but the more you post, the less sympathy I have. Instead of just accepting your shitty husband and shitty father of your children, why not do something about it?

Imagine how your kids are going to turn out with this being modelled as how relationships are.

Mt563 · 01/08/2026 13:09

I thought it was bad enough to just leave before I read he has no income.

Seriously, leave. You'd all be better off without him.

Zippidydoodah · 01/08/2026 13:06

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:45

he will move back with his parents

Good riddance then! They’d be welcome to him! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Bonkers1966 · 01/08/2026 13:03

Wow. Shocking read. Can he wipe his own arse?

SecretSquid · 01/08/2026 13:00

Oh it's you.
He is never going to change. It's up to you to make the change. Only you are stopping you.
Ps who gives a fuck what his mum says.

Naurrr · 01/08/2026 12:56

Lillyofthevalleyblooms · 01/08/2026 12:45

he will move back with his parents

That's perfect, a happy future ahead for you.