AIBU to feel upset after my husband liked a hurtful reel?

I think that's a whole mess, the first line makes me think your relationship isn't worth it, if he's always making you cry. Why are you with him? Sounds not worth it to me.
You're going to go crazy if you analyse everything he likes online, who has time for that? Likes don't really mean anything.

Sorry OP, but you sound controlling and utterly unreasonable. Why are you policing what content he views and likes? This is completely unacceptable and crossing the line.

If you are examining his social media to the extent of noticing which reel he likes there are bigger issues at play. I don't know whether he's actually done wrong messaging a woman from his past as you say it wasn't sexual or flirty. I'm happy for DH to have female friends but I know there are women who are not. I wouldn't allow my husband to tell me who I could be friends with and I think that should be reciprocal.
Having said that if he's sad and you clearly don't seem happy just move on from the relationship, you'll both feel better in the long run.

I couldn't live like that and I'd end the relationship

“Another weekend another morning crying”

really? Based on what you wrote, that’s fairly dramatic. Is there anything else going on?

It sounds like the relationship is over, far too much hard work.

in the nicest way possible he sounds like a drip and will continue to do this so it’s either you not care or take notice, he changes things, or you could be petty and repost things that will upset him OR just break because this drama is not worth it

I understand why you’re upset as it feels like another kick in the teeth from him. However, it sounds like he’s also not happy in your relationship currently and yes, maybe he did cross the line chatting to this woman, or maybe not, or maybe it was actually the symptom of something bigger going wrong in your marriage. It sounds like neither of you are very happy at the moment and he found a little humour in a silly reel that resonated with him. I think you both need to sit down and talk this through and recognise that you both have work to do to improve this situation if you want your marriage to work.

He's not happy you're not happy, either get back to a place where you both can be happy or call it a day.

Has he ever given you reason not to trust him?

Also the line said when they don’t notice you’re sad.
Why would he say that?

You posted about the messages at the time, didn't you? Pretty sure the overwhelming advice was leave.

If you choose not to do that, then you are going to have a rocky time getting past it. It will take a lot more than a few weeks. I know MN hates the unmet need concept but if you take a step back, is there any other source of sadness for either of you? Is this the time where you get a third party of some sort to help you unpick the past and decide if you want to put it back together properly?

Not sure why this is relevant?

So he got caught out messaging another woman despite being in a presumably monogamous marriage with you OP.
Your very justified reaction obviously gave him a fright. But his behaviour and actions after he realised you weren't going to leave him indicate he is not sorry about what he did he is just sorry he got caught. And he is resentful of you for spoiling his fun.

I don't see how you can trust him going forward tbh. Given half a chance he will be oursibg other women for attention if he feels he can get away with it

Oh come on! This guy is sleazing on instagram babes, perving over “hotties” exchanging messages and @cantumblershavestems is the problem?

give your head a whack fgs.

@cantumblershavestems bin him. Seriously!!tell him he’s free to go and be happy somewhere else so that you too can wake up on a weekend and NOT be in tears because your husband has been drooling and perving over young women.

he’s grim. You are worth more than this and you know it.

I want to go back to a world before there were "likes". It's literally the most stupid, juvenile thing we've given ourselves in modern life. It's so stupid.

Why are you spending all your time crying? What's he actually done?

Any man who has been inappropriate with friends is a sleaze bag. I’m not sure whether they were his friends or your friends, it doesn’t really matter, but you lose friends over a man like this.

Well it’s not fine, is it, because you’re upset about it.

I can’t be doing with the real life version of vaguebooking - either he says what he needs to and you both deal with it like the adults you are or he stops dropping hints. And if you’re seeing things you don’t like on his socials, you bring it up and deal with it like an adult. I literally have no idea what my DH likes or doesn’t like online unless he shares it with me.

Getting worked up over a stupid reel is hiding the very real issues in your relationship ie you don’t trust him and you’re both unhappy. What are you both doing constructively to address that?

If my husband stalked my socials I would block him. You need to back off.

You both sound miserable. This is no way for either of you to live your lives. 🥺. You need a real conversation alone without your kids

It's controlling to police what someone 'likes' online and question them about the motives for every press of a button.

I understand it's because he chatted to someone else, but if you need to act controlling to feel like your partner will behave then you don't trust him so it's not fair on either of you to be together.

My god it’s not supposed to be this difficult. Move on and find a drama-free relationship. There are nice men out there somewhere who don’t message hot Latinas and then mope about feeling sorry for themselves (or pretending to).

Honestly. I am working hard to teach my daughters that relationships are not supposed to be difficult. They are genuinely easy with the right person