Aibu for ending things with my boyfriend after he ignored me saying no, twice, and then blocking him when he wouldn't leave me alone after the breakup?
Some context: I'm a single mum, going through a divorce that's now finalised. I started seeing the guy about 10 months ago, long distance-ish, he's a seasonal worker with a visa that runs out in a couple of years, so there was always an end date built in.
Early on things were genuinely good, he was warm and thoughtful and helped me out where I needed it. But recently whenever I am struggling, I get platitudes instead of him actually showing up. If I raise a problem, he gets defensive rather than hear it. Work is immovable, can never take an hour early off or even 5 minutes to say hi if I was close by.
The bigger issue: twice now, he continued kissing/undressing me after I said no and said stop, the second time only stopping when I said it again and reminded him I had said no. There'd been an earlier incident where I'd already told him "no" needs to be respected the first time he hears it. After the most recent one he did apologise, sent a long voice note calling it a "red flag" and promising it wouldn't happen again.
I eventually ended it. I laid out clearly the whys, the pattern of absence, the lack of acknowledgment when I raised issues, and the repeated boundary crossing. He responded with defensiveness, asking why my behaviour had changed and made out like I was hiding something (I'm not). Eventually he had a go about doing it over message. I finally said that I did that because he couldn't make time to see me and talk about repairing stuff between us and I'd realised I couldn't carry on like this and I'd be blocking him (WhatsApp). I wished him the best.
Since then he's tried Instagram DMs, sent me money with lunch invitations as the reference (twice, after my bank bounced it back the first time), texted twice and called twice in one evening, the last message asking to meet "even if just to say goodbye" and saying he missed me.
I blocked the number on my phone so he can't text or call anymore.
AIBU for ending it over the boundary thing rather than "working on it," and for eventually going full no-contact when he wouldn't stop reaching out after I was clear it was over?