AIBU to get DS17 nothing for his birthday?

Every child should have something to open , however small, even if it’s just a token. I was in the same situation this year with my son, but I wrapped up some of his favourite sweets, toiletries, gave him a birthday cake. Just saying happy birthday isn’t enough.

i can see why he’d be annoyed!
its really mean to not celebrate your own child’s birthday.
im 46 & remember every single year of ‘ I couldn’t careless’ from my parents

Agree with other posters, this is very mean, you could not have saved anything to buy him a new tee shirt, some chocolates or anything he likes.
He will remember his 17th birthday for a long time, don't come complaining when as an adult he will forget your birthday.

This is really really mean !
driving lessons aren’t a proper present you can open on your special day, and you’re even making him pay for half of those!

Agree

Your poor son.
Thats rotten parenting imo

I'd get him a card a cake and take him for a meal out.

No cake, no card, no special dinner? OP isn't short of money and she didn't buy him a card etc, that's not very caring.

I think it’s thoughtless. Every kid loves to open presents on their birthday. It doesn’t have to be expensive but gifts are an acknowledgment of their special day and that they mean a lot to you.

I could never do that to my child on their birthday. You make a fuss to celebrate their special day. So he literally woke up to no gifts to unwrap or a card or anything in recognition of it being his birthday? Have the lessons been paid for? Was there not even a voucher to unwrap or little things like keyring, L plates and fav sweets etc? You didnt need to go mad but you could have made the effort. I will always get my almost 19 year old a card and gifts to open even if i had paid for a big ticket item too, small things don't need to cost the earth but it’s about making your child
feel special on their day.

I’m feeling bad now it’s my ds’s 13 th soon and all he wants is money so not got him anything physical (yet)

that said we are taking him out that day shopping and he can choose what he wants and he can choose where we eat too !

I’d give token gifts to unwrap. I did this for my DD’s, I took them clothes shopping plus bought a nice lunch while out. Still got them some small gifts to unwrap on the day.

Driving lessons is a lovely and expensive gift but I would have thought he might be upset if you did nothing else to acknowledge his birthday. Think about when kids are younger you get them gifts, cards, a party and you generally make a bit of a fuss. I don’t think being 17 and getting a gift with a high monetary value means you suddenly want your parents to just treat your birthday like any other day. Surely you’d take him out for a meal or order his favourite takeaway and get him a cake and a card and make a bit of a fuss? Maybe he genuinely isn’t fussed but I mean I would assume that you’d know your own child enough to know if he’d be upset about that? The fact you’re asking a load of strangers on the internet if what you’ve done for your own son’s birthday is okay is a bit sad!

You need a gift of something.

Your DS will remember his 17th birthday for all the wrong reasons, you're very mean. I could never treat my DC like that.

Unl3ss you're living on benefits you're a mean tight patent.

I really don’t know how you can be so uncaring. You definitely need to step up with a cake, card and a few small birthday gifts.
Ongoing I think you really need to think about what it means to be a parent - it doesn’t just end at 17 or 18. If you want an ongoing positive relationship you can not be this dismissive. It’s really not about money OP; you seem lacking on the emotional front. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t come naturally.

Nothing at all? No, I couldn’t do that!!

Nothing else at all? Yabu.
You could have bought a card, a cake, asked what he wanted for dinner and bought a few little bits to open surely?!

Where's the love? Your post sounds like a transactional process instead of your child's birthday. At least give him a card/ small gift and the option to go out for dinner.

I can’t believe the OP hasn’t come back. Hope she saw the error of her ways and took her DS out for a nice dinner.