AIBU to get DS17 nothing for his birthday?

YABVU and tight. Could have at least got him fav chocs, t-shirt and shorts little bits and pieces like that.

Completely agree! I feel so sorry for your son, to get nothing, not even a small token gift, is bloody horrible.

Most people would view this is appalling behaviour from a partner so it's even from a parents. It's not about the money, it's about the lack of thought and expression of love. Cooking your child's favourite dinner, taking time to tell them how proud you are and choosing something small that shows how well you know is essential. Who would want their partner to walk out the door on their birthday with no effort or fuss because he paid for something? That would be a very low standard of partner so I expect much more love and care from a parent. Also, he's only 17 so the partying won't involve a pub or alcohol I presume. That's probably going to be pretty low key, especially for a 17 year old who isn't going to have much in the way of founds. Going out with mates is not a substitute for a parent showing no effort.

What on earth are you talking about?

Driving lessons are about £40 an hour now.

For a slower learner requiring 20 lessons, that's £800.
For a quicker learner requiring 6 lessons, that's £240.

So OP has given her son something in the ballpark of £120 - £400.

What planet are you from in which you think a £120 - £400 birthday present is not extremely generous?

For your kid, I actually think £120 is absolutely tight tbh.
besides, it’s not about money. Pack of balloons and card, £2. Supermarket cake, a fiver. £20 in shower gel body spray sweets etc. little extras don’t cost a lot but say a lot. It’s the complete lack of thought and effort for me. Fucking horrible.

OP has vanished in a puff of smoke after her first two responses.

She probably was really looking for validation about getting her DS nothing apart from the promise of money towards half of the cost of driving lessons. She (quite rightly) hasn't had that validation.

OP behaved in a very tone deaf manner towards her DS. It seems likely that there wasn't even a card, just a few lame calls of "Happy Birthday" and that was it. The room was totally misread.

Paying for 1/2 of his lessons is lovely - but unless you have reached max budget I’d have got something else to unwrap.
You could have printed him something to show he’s got however many lessons, L plates, Highway Code book, his favourite chocolate or sweets.
None of that costs a lot, but it’s the little touches that make a birthday.

I would be asking him where he wants to go for dinner and I’d be nipping out to buy a cake to take.

It’s not that paying for some driving lessons isn’t a good gift, it’s the lack of celebration of even having a small token to unwrap that would bother me.

Poor kid

OP has vanished in a puff of smoke after her first two responses.

LLM? (Bot)

It was as if they'd never encountered a human teenager before.

Can you buy him a few things ,then he has something to open, like new trainers & a couple of t-shirts? I think it's nice, rather than just giving a card, saying ,"Happy Birthday" and that it...

Noodles???? I am known for crazy presents eg I once bought a box of tissues because the box was themed appropriately to the recipient. But noodles. I need a context.

I would have some low cost essentials or edibles and a birthday treat - special dinner, meal out or cake

We're talking about a birthday present for a 17 year old, not luxury treatment for a princess.

Yes, it's a bit mean. Just a token gift and a card would do. He's still a child really.

Luxury treatment for a princess?? What does £120 get nowadays? It’s stingy, my kids aren’t princesses but they definitely get more than that for their birthday. I’m not loaded but I save a plan. And like I said, it’s not about the money-if I was on the breadline and had only £20 to spend I’d still make more effort than the OP. That’s what really counts.
fucking hell, some mean, miserable, selfish parents on here.

OP, it’s not about the money, it’s about what you do and what that says about how you think of your DS. I couldn’t have anyone here on their birthday and not make a cake, much less one of my own dear children. And there must be things your DS needs, like undies and socks and toiletries, or favourite sweets or treats that you could have wrapped up for him - and who doesn’t like a surprise? So he woke up to a big nothing from his family - don’t be surprised when he’s not falling over himself to come back to visit when he’s older.

Poor kid. Doesn't appear you put a lot of thought into his birthday and he knows it.

But effort doesn’t require much money.

the OP could have decorated the kitchen with red balloons (for the L plates) , made a red velvet cake (or even bought a cheap one , there are plenty around)chucked around some red streamers and arranged the first driving lesson for today. His birthday.

I think if she had done those things, and put them in the original post , the responses would have been very different.

Effort doesn’t have to cost much

It's a little bit mean. I agree with what others have said, get his fave chocs/sweets, nike socks (or whatever brand he likes) a small gift voucher - JD £10/£15? and some cheap aftershave from NEXT or something. An extra £35 isn't extortionate and you wont feel guilty becayse you clearly do having written this post!

Jesus. My parents always give me money for my birthday and Christmas but also a silly/small gift that I can unwrap on the day.

It’s today?!? Poor kid. Do you really not like him?

In my family, regardless of one big gift, there would be a cake, and card ready, plus favourite meal (be that either a home cooked favourite dish, or best loved take away).
I would also personally do a few small presents to open, but I understand if money is tight

That’s so mean! Please tell me you at least got him a card?! My DD will be 17 soon and she’ll be getting driving lessons but will absolutely get a small Gift or two to open, a card, cake, lovely brunch and family dinner out to celebrate

Bit tight for a parent. If you can afford it then get him some other bits too. Fucking hell.