AIBU to serve afternoon tea rather than a full dinner?

I well imagine that this tea will be done very well.

Never underestimate the amount of afternoon teas going on in far flung corners of the world. It really is a thing.

I’d go for the afternoon tea but would make it more substantial than a traditional British afternoon tea. It’s what I do for my East African and Arab family. They much prefer it to being out of their homes in the evening and truth be told I prefer it on my birthday as well even though I’m younger than them at 68.

eta we’d start about 4pm and finish about 6.30.

Its a shame OP hasnt answered some of this but Im wondering the same reading these responses that assume that people of other cultures dont eat outside of their norm

Having said that, I do find other cultures extremely fixed about what constitutes appropirate/good enough food, give an Italian or Spanish person a roast dinner, a Cullen Skink, a steak and kidney suet pudding and they'll probably think its shit no matter how special and fantastic these meals are.

Genuine question: is it a given that if they're Ugandan they think there MUST be massive dishes of 'proper dinner' at any get-together?
I tend to think that maybe 'even' people of Ugandan heritage can cope with different sorts of meals.

That sounds great! Afternoon tea is often really filling too, and feels special for your mum’s birthday compared to a regular buffet or similar if you go fancy, nice plates, homemade cakes etc.

Of course but it’s not one or the other, you can also do both.

She is making an effort. That’s the whole point.

Afternoon tea will be a great and happy occasion, and much less tiring than a formal dinner. And tbh a tea that you do at home will be more fun and relaxing with better food than at a hotel.

But surely getting together with loved ones should mean the interactions are front and centre, not the food?

I dunno really. I think the op waxes lyrical about celebrating her mother, then states a two hour light afternoon tea. With light bites.

I was wondering if the "couple" of hours meant a few rather than literally two.

I dunno really. I think the op waxes lyrical about celebrating her mother, then states a two hour light afternoon tea. With light bites.

people are going all out with a big fancy tea , which can be lovely. But im not sure that’s what’s planned, I think it’s likely cake and sarnies for hours. And just maybe the aunties have a point.

i suspect if she was going all out as people are suggesting she’d have said so in her op, not said light bites and two hours.

Agree - you are not busting a gut to make or host dinner. Afternoon tea is delightful and all of us are coming if Ugandan/Indian treats are on the menu x

YANBU.

With that said, i assume your family are not white British, in which case you should know how these 'Aunties' are and how food centred parties are in certain cultures (yes, people will turn up to some of these parties for the food).

You can choose to ignore, tell them you don't care and do as you wish.
But, you could also include some traditional snacks from your Mum's cultural background (samosas, for example, if say Ugandan Asian)

What time will you be serving it & will it be enough with what she will have already eaten?

I assume you know your mum & that she would like it?

How rude of them. Its for the mum not them.

Is your family Ugandan? If so, and you’re proposing to serve afternoon tea to a bunch of African aunties, please film it. I genuinely cannot imagine how that would go down, but I know it would be spectacular! 😂

Ooh, I have Royal Albert "breath of spring" design and my teapot is just like that.

Are they asian op?

just say what you’ve said here (diplomatically!)

“I’m sorry that others won’t be happy but this is about mum, her milestone birthday and what she likes. So afternoon tea will be served at X o clock - are you coming?”

We often have afternoon tea for my mum's birthday. It's in the summer, it's nice to spend the afternoon in the garden having cake and sandwiches.
I presume you know your mum would like this. In which case, fuck em. Be breezy and say, 'Oh well, that's the plan!' and change the subject.

YANBU for your generation, but you know the aunties will expect pilau, it's just different generational expectations.

What would your mum prefer?

Why not do a High Tea? That's afternoon tea with some more substantial cooked food. You could tell guests that you and your sisters are providing the cakes, sandwiches, scones, jam and cream, tea and bubbly, candles and flowers and decor, but if others want to bring hot savoury dishes for the table, they are welcome.

Yes exactly, if you get really lovely sandwiches, savouries and cakes and scones. If you make do with ham and cheese sarnies, some Tesco sausage rolls and a few Mr Kiplings that’s kind of missing the mark.

You mentioned Uganda - is that just a country that your mum worked in or is she of that heritage?

If the latter, I don't think sandwiches and a bit of cake will pass muster!

I assumed SE Asian who had to flee uganda under Idi Amin with mentions of auntie who disapproved of sandwiches and cake being a full on meal

do whatever your mum would enjoy and be clear that's the deal