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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset DGP's are taking DC on holiday?

243 replies

madderthanapissedonchicken · 31/07/2026 20:54

Posting for others opinions on this as I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable.

my DP’s are having my 2 DC for the weekend next month, while myself and DP are away.

I was told today that they have booked to take them away for the weekend.

I’m in 2 minds, as obviously this is nice of them to do it & DC will enjoy it BUT I also would have preferred to have been asked and not told.

a while ago DP’s wanted to take DS away, and I was worried about it him being away, wasn’t going to say yes, then spoke to DP’s and agreed. So I’m not sure why they wouldn’t ask this time? Or if they thought because they are babysitting anyway that it didn’t matter where?

would this upset you or would you be ok with it?

OP posts:
JFC26 · 01/08/2026 06:37

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AhBiscuits · 01/08/2026 06:08

They of course should have asked. You can't just do what you like with other people's children, even if you are doing someone a favour.

pizzaHeart · 01/08/2026 05:21

Heathertrott2 · 31/07/2026 21:57

Vigilance at home or in environments familiar to both the grandparents and children are unlikely to harbour huge risks. Unless they have a ninja warrior course in their back garden, taking them to the sea and to "new" or unfamiliar areas significantly opens them up to bigger risks

Edited

This^
Tbh would expect to be asked even with older kids at least out of courtesy and for practical packing purposes.
I don’t think you are overreacting OP. I would seriously consider the situation and maybe even cancel your trip. I don’t think your parents are so sensible if it didn’t occur to them to ask your permission for this.

ImmortalSnowman · 01/08/2026 04:54

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I'm not a grandmother. Grow up.

JFC26 · 01/08/2026 04:48

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JFC26 · 01/08/2026 04:47

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ImmortalSnowman · 01/08/2026 04:46

madderthanapissedonchicken · 31/07/2026 23:26

Thanks for this. My immediate thought was to cancel our trip & stay home.
I’m sure they will tell me I’m overreacting.

You and your brother survived your childhood. So did your children's father. Your/his parents have been parents a lot longer than you have been one. How very insulting of you to think you know more about parenting than they do.

Cancel your trip though and tell your/his parents that you don't trust them to leave your tiny village with your children. Don't leave your children with them again as they clearly can't be trusted to look after them.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/08/2026 04:19

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But the facts are that accidents or injuries with children are more likely to happen within the home.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/08/2026 04:16

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If it can't be argued otherwise, this thread likely wouldn't exist.

If the grandparents are trusted with young children for an entire weekend, they are going to be trusted with making plenty of decisions. I can understand them believing if they are having them for the weekend anyway, they might as well make the best of it and take them on a little holiday and didn't think they needed permission.

Honestly, it sounds like the best case scenario is OP stays home and grandparents have a childfree weekend instead.

Maddy70 · 01/08/2026 03:46

Would they have taken them out while in their care ? What's the difference?

Enjoy your break and they will have fun too

JFC26 · 01/08/2026 03:41

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Mumtobabyhavoc · 01/08/2026 03:35

"What is it with this generation of mothers that think it's only them who can care for their precious babies properly and mollycoddle them so ridiculously?"

What a belittling statement. 🙄

JMSA · 01/08/2026 03:33

YABVU.

Globules · 01/08/2026 03:29

For goodness sake, I can't believe some of these crazy replies.

GP looked after my 2 from the ages of 0/2. Sometimes they had day trips to the beach. Sometimes they went swimming. Sometimes they went on boats.

I think they even had a couple of nights away with them too.

Not once did they ask our permission to do so. By the nature of being asked to look after the children, they knew they were trusted.

Children are both very happy 20 somethings with lovely childhood memories of time with their GPs.

What is it with this generation of mothers that think it's only them who can care for their precious babies properly and mollycoddle them so ridiculously? Do you not think that GPs will be even more vigilant than they would at home? They love those children too and don't want anything to happen to them, just like you.

If there has been anything in the past that has made you doubt their care of your children, then they should not be having them at all. If their care has been exemplary, then what's your problem?

If you want the village to raise the child, then let the village raise the child. You have to let go as they get older. Start letting go.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 01/08/2026 03:16

It's a lack of respect and lack of respect for boundaries by the GP's. Yes, they're family, but they still have to ask, provide details and get permission.

shhblackbag · 01/08/2026 03:13

If you cancel the trip because of this, that's your right. I wouldn't expect them to be available for any kind of childcare in the future, though.

LivingTheDreamish · 01/08/2026 03:06

I wouldn't have been happy with anyone but me supervising my children on a beach holiday - the risk is too great. I think you are okay to say sorry but no and yes do cancel your trip if necessary. Let them think you're an old fusspot, it doesn't matter.

JFC26 · 01/08/2026 02:58

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PollyBell · 01/08/2026 02:48

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How on earth did grandparents manage to raise their own kids without this modern nonsense

JFC26 · 01/08/2026 02:36

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JFC26 · 01/08/2026 02:34

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SouthLondonMum22 · 01/08/2026 01:47

JFC26 · 01/08/2026 00:49

Why are you pretending going on holiday, driving with very young children, going to a strange holiday destination with very young children with no discussion, input or agreement from their parents is the same thing as watching them at your well known home?

Really, why would you try to make this comparison? It's so obviously nonsensical - what prompted you to try to pretend this is a fair comparison?

Because some of the arguments pp's are presenting would also make it a very bad idea for them to be left alone with Grandparents over the weekend and I'm assuming if they applied, OP wouldn't be leaving them unsupervised for a weekend in the first place such as not able to run after a small child and a few other examples.

Unless Grandparents are expecting to sit inside with the children all weekend doing nothing then things such as driving, pools, beaches, day trips etc may happen anyway. Unless OP should also tell them no driving, no swimming pools and no day trips?

Which is why I stand by you either trust them or you don't. Accidents can happen anywhere, including in the home. In fact, they are more likely to happen there.

MaryBeery · 01/08/2026 01:23

I don't think anyone's particularly covering themselves in glory here. It's only appropriate to check a trip away with the kids is OK with you before presenting it as a fait accompli, but cancelling your own trip and staying home as a result is a massive overreaction.

Violetwall · 01/08/2026 01:17

I wouldn't like nor accept this.
You have agreed one thing and they have changed the arrangement without the very basic curtesy of checking what you think.

If that is the cost of having them looked after, then the price is far too high.

Staying at home and looking after two small children that need supervision, is vastly different to a new place several hours away that involves a busy holiday spot, beaches etc.

I wouldn't be peaceful which would completely defeat the purpose of the weekend.

I think there is something extremely presumptuous and high handed about doing this, as if they don't have to consult you.

Not a chance anyone like that would be taking my children anywhere.

I will admit that we never had a weekend away ever, when my children were young.
We survived.

Isittimeformynapyet · 01/08/2026 01:11

madderthanapissedonchicken · 31/07/2026 21:06

A coastal location in the UK, a few hours away from home.

like I say, it is very nice of them to do. I just would have thought that before booking you’d say are you happy with this? I couldn’t imagine booking a trip to take someone’s children without ok’ing t
with the parents.

the reason I wasn’t sure about the previous trip is just because of more risk being away - swimming pool, sea etc. some may see that as unreasonable, but my brain worries about these things! 😖

DC’s are 6 and 4

Can we assume from this post that you were at greater than average risk of drowning during your own childhood when you were yourself in your parents' care?