Do you send your kids' iPads on playdates?!

Mine is 7, and I don’t let her leave the house on her iPad (it’s really mine that I don’t use). She’s only allowed on it for school work, to be honest. I know she has one at her dad that she uses a lot more but, by her own admission, she worries about how much screen time she has at dads

Is that a thing now?

No I don’t.

I agree re the communal play, sitting together staring at their own tablets would work me too. For a standard 2 hour playdate no one has or brings tech but for a whole day or sleepover typically there's gaming of some sort or my youngest had a whole day out with her best friend and when we came home they watched tangled while playing 'spa'.

I've never experienced the iPad kid thing of them sitting on their own screen ignoring each other

Mine don't. I'm always disappointed if they go on playdates and I learn they spent a lot of time on the other kid's tablet. Lots of comments here about demonising tech and the importance of balance, but the issue IMO is that for lots of kids these things are addictive, isolating, and sedentary, and they absolutely do take away from imaginative and physical joint playing. It's also worrying because you don't know what age safeguards are on other children's devices.

I've had a little girl of 7 round who asked persistently for her iPad over several hours, despite clearly having fun doing other things and wanting to be with the other children (I eventually caved and popped her home for her iPad, thinking I'd leave her there, but she asked really earnestly to come back to my house, where she spent the rest of the playdate staring at her tablet and periodically trying to get the other kids to do the same).

If I've got kids round for a long time and they have been very active and want to chill, or if they just aren't clicking, I will let them choose something on the TV. We host a lot and this is very rarely necessary.

The comments that are more pro playdate tech seem to be about communal gaming. I can imagine permitting that to some extent if my kids were in to it, because it's not quite the same as little kids parked on their individual tablets. That said, I'd rather my kids (8 and 10) continued to play physically/ imaginatively for hours with their mates.

I just think it's weird that you were so incredulous that 9 yr olds HAVE tablets. As if that's so unusual somehow

dd 9 has an ipad very locked down. I’ve disabled messages from friends as well. It’s never been to a friend’s house and they’ve never brought one to ours. I would say it’s unusual to do that.

I don’t understand what you’re not getting, got questioned multiple posters about whether they even had children because they didn’t think a 9 year old needed a tablet.
That’s an insane view imo and there are plenty of 9 year olds with no tablets, it’s weird to suggest posters couldn’t possibly even have children if they didn’t think a 9 year old needed their own tech.
You don’t have to agree, I never mentioned price. I just don’t think is that shocking that a 9 year old wouldn’t have a tablet.

Wow I wouldn't. This is so sad. The magic of playing is dying way to young.

But some parents don't say no....

Do senior school kids have 'playdates'? I think I would have disowned my mother if she'd described 'x coming over' or 'going over to y's' as a 'playdate' 😂

Why? The ownership part specifically? My kids had Kindle fires with kid friendly covers so they weren't using the more expensive adult tech. I could replace 7/8 kindle frees before I could replace my MacBook for example and 6 before I could replace my phone

my kids are adults but based on restaurants around here 60% + kids have their own iPads/tablets from toddlers, every kid has one in front of them at many tables. There are no screens at all on some tables and my neighbours are a no screens before primary school house (they have just bought an iPad because the school has apps for it from year 1)

You make your choices, other parents make theirs.
Finding it so outlandish that a 9 year would wouldn’t have their own iPad is crazy imo and a real part of the problem.

Not at 9 no. But My eldest at 11 does because they specifically want to play games like minecraft together. More often than not they spend an hour on that then it's out in the garden trampoline, drawing, swimming pool etc

Technology isn't the devil's work just need some boundaries with it. I often find they quickly move on to real life playing.

Of all the friends we have had over for play dates it's the ones that have no access to devices at all that are the most fascinated by them it being their one chance.

Almost exact same situation here, 3 wee boys who got their switches out, 2 wee girls and my daughter playing Polly pockets, eventually it was toys from 1 end of my son's bedroom to the other end of my daughter bedroom with every small toy and play house and several LEGO structures housing everything from robots to Sylvanian families. We're very chill about tech so long as it's age appropriate so it's just part of play not all of it.

Yeah that's the one that seemed massively unrealistic to me, here kids turn up with a wide array of toys, some also bring tech but usually that's a pre planned gaming thing. They're all mad into Pokemon cards and figures and turn up with pockets full, or bags of their favourite hot wheels cars. My son actually said to me why are they making fun of her for having toys, she's my age?!

Seriously though. I have seen kids bring devices on play dates: my son gets upset about it as it means the kids aren’t playing

I’m so glad my children are young adults as we just didn’t have this issue at primary age. The most they did was play on the Wii!

Never experienced this. To celebrate the end of the school year my son (9) just had a “pizza and gaming party” with his friends - 12 of them. Some brought their own switches, ours was (as always) hooked up to the tv (no handheld screens usually allowed in my house for the kids) and they played games together, sharing their switches and taking turns on the big screen.

interestingly, I’d say over half of them fucked off the switches after an hour and instead played a real-world game of Harry Potter, including getting out the dressing up box which hadn’t seen the light of day for a couple of years.

That's a shame for your daughter's friend, especially since she embraced playing without the tablet while she was at your house.

Although I did find it mad that it had 8 year old making fun of kids for playing with toys. That's not been my experience at all. My 8 yr old son spent an entire day setting up a home, school and nursery with my 5 yr old daughter for all her dolls and his pokemon characters and they spent hours concoctung a story around it. His friends come round and sometimes bring tech but always bring toys, minimum a handful of mini figs and a couple fo pokemon cuddliest, a box of Pokemon trading cards or football cards. Noone makes fun of anyone for having toys. His friends who are girls come armed with Polly pockets and miniverse set ups. Everyone loves to draw and craft. It's not real life to the kids I know and yet they all have access to tecg

Yeah, when the kids are at school, the iPad sometimes gets a bit lonely, so I send it on playdates with some of my friends iPads

We don't own an iPad/tablet so no, the kids definitely aren't taking them on playdates. I've never had a kid bring one over here either. Our oldest is only 8 so nobody has phones yet either.

I think that’s a good message…I was more thinking of the scene where Bonnie has a play date and everyone is just sat on iPads rather than engaging. A sad scene

We went to see toy story 5, did you notice the moral of the story seemed to be embracing tech as a small part of wider play? Or did you miss that but? They didn't let lilypad throw herself away, she was useful in small doses.

Mine are 8 and 5, my 5 year old obviously isn't taking a tablet on playdates, she occasionally plays a tablet game or watches a cartoon but she's not fussed for screentime, even on long car journeys she'll say she doesn't need to bring anything as she likes the scenery. She often brings a doll and chats to it about the scenery as if she's it's mum.

My eldest also doesn't bring a tablet BUT he does have a Nintendo switch and he and his friends will sometimes bring theirs toe ach others houses for playdates. They'll usually play 2 player games and they chat and interact constantly while playing the games but sometimes they'll be stuck on something tricky on a platform game and spend ages helping each other work things out. They only play age appropriate games and nothing violent and definitely not Roblox.

If we have a playdate involving tech it's usually a child who is here for around 24 hours, so a full sleepover and in that time they'll also play in the garden, build lego, set up hot wheels, we'll usually have an outing to a trampoline park or play park and often be out most of the day. Techs just a small part of it.

He does have tech in the car, he's always struggled with car journeys and is asd so when he struggles historically he could freak right out and end up making himself vomit. He mostly chats to his sister, chats to us, plays with fidgets, also brings a book but having something to lose himself in by way of a game really helps him.

People seem to imagine tech as some entity separate to other everyday life events and entertainment whereas it's just a small part of the day here.