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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to mention an video from my son's playdate?

36 replies

fruitfly3 · 31/07/2026 16:22

Son has gone to a friends. Son is 6, friend is latter end of 5. Friend sent some videos of them playing (she’d set her photo up in their play area and recorded some cute clips). On one of them the boy asks my son if he can show him his willy. My son said no, and the boy pleaded with him. My son then said he wanted to play outside and off they went.

I don’t know the family terribly well and suspect the child is ND. What would you do in this scenario? The mother has sent me the clips, supposedly because some are sweet, and this is contained within. I’ll obviously speak to my son and reinforce that he did exactly the right thing. But is this the sort of thing 5/6 year old boys do? Would you mention to the mum? I hate stuff like this, I’m awkward as it is!

OP posts:
Whatevergoes2025 · 31/07/2026 16:51

Just ask the Mum to delete the vid and don’t take him back. Why do people record play dates??

WallaceinAnderland · 31/07/2026 16:48

You left your child with people you don't know well and the mother filmed him? Surely you know this isn't right.

SouthLondonMum22 · 31/07/2026 16:48

I would definitely mention it and then likely avoid playdates in the future.

JLou08 · 31/07/2026 16:47

Just casually mention it to the mum. There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation. Dog named willy, misheard and there is a toy called silly/flowers he calls dilly. It seems odd that a mum would send that if it is what you think it is.

LumpkinPumpkin · 31/07/2026 16:46

I’d be mortified if my child had tried to show another child their genitals. I might mention it to the other parent as in ‘Henry tried to show Daniel his penis. I’m really sorry, he thinks it’s funny but we’ve had another chat about why this isn’t appropriate. I hope it doesn’t raise too many questions or cause upset’ but I would be clambering to delete that video asap!

Original poster
fruitfly3 · 31/07/2026 16:41

@LumpkinPumpkin this is it - it’s most likely nothing. I don’t think she set up a whole filming thing, just lent her phone on a surface to take some clips.

OP posts:
hydriotaphia · 31/07/2026 16:39

yanbu to mention it. My dd had a friend in nursery who did similar. We told the nursery and they talked to the parents (as I was too much of a wimp to bring it up with them). It was a good friend of my dd, we continued to see them but I made sure I kept a close eye on them after that and did not have unsupervised playdates.

LumpkinPumpkin · 31/07/2026 16:37

Sorry, I find it weird that the mum has set up her phone to video them? A few snaps or a video of something specific/cute. But just setting up the phone? And then the kid is trying to show your son his penis? This really doesn’t sit right with me. I wouldn’t allow my child to play there unsupervised from now on. It probably isn’t anything sinister (got knows my own kids think penises, bums etc. are hilarious) but it’s raising too many red flags for me.

Original poster
fruitfly3 · 31/07/2026 16:30

@Gooseling its not unusual for children to go to other houses for a play date without the parent present at 6. It’s a family from my son’s class, I’ve met the parents scores of times and no red flags. But they’re not close friends.

OP posts:
Gazelda · 31/07/2026 16:27

Yes, I’d say something.

”hi friend, thanks for the clips and for having x over to play. I don’t know if you noticed, but one part of the footage involved them discussing each others’ willies. I’m uncomfortable with that, so would you please delete it. Thanks very much. My turn to host next week etc “

and then I’d be googling the nspcc’s PANTS rules and chatting it over with DS. He has obviously been guided well by you.

Gooseling · 31/07/2026 16:27

I don’t know the family terribly well and suspect the child is ND.

I don’t want to sound horrible here, but why did you leave your young child with people you don’t know that well?

I would not be letting my child go back to that house ever again without me present.

It could have been harmless, or it could be an indication that this little boy has been exposed to SA.

I would speak to my son and ask him if he’s okay and if “Friend” had said anything to upset him? I’d also be having a long talk with him about never letting anyone want to see or touch your private parts. If it ever happens you must tell mummy and daddy.