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Original poster

To think this email from my exes solicitor is just absolutely laughable

112 replies

Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 12:09

DSs dad is on an increasing schedule of contact during our court process, started with supported and he's now on one-one. (Contact originally stopped because social services though he was a danger, before what he had alternate weekends plus some extras in hols)

Last weekend was his first full day. He was 3hrs late because he forgot about it. Now I get an email off his solicitor requesting we agree outside of court 5050 shared care or they'll take me to court over 1.unrelated and 2. Completely in my favour, financial issues. Essentially threatening me that if I don't agree it'll cost me. Also threatening to take MY allegations of rape against him, further, like how? You raped me, I agreed not to press charges, what are you going to do?

I just cannot imagine being so arrogant that I would be 3 hours late to see my son and then demand shared care?! CAFCAS is not reccomeding shared care. The judge scoffed at the last hearing when he said he was insisting on shared care. In what world would I agree to that?

And honestly why would his solicitor support that, they seem like the most incompetent people I've ever met, it baffles me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 12:54

@thetimeisnow Oh no they're going to charge me for it because it's my fault they're having to take it to court. There's a line something along the lines of how it will cost me if I'm not cooperative or something like that as well. And they mentioned the child maintenance that he'd be willing to pay it after listing their demands. It's exactly the kind of threats I'd get back when his abuse worked on me. Now it's just laughable. Like honestly, I have a mortgage on the house, I literally cannot give you the house without you paying it off. A court can't even demand I transfer it because a bank owns half of it.

@NotAnotherScarf honestly part of me actually feels bad for him that they're swindling him for so much money and not giving him any advice. He must be over 10k now, and they're not even checking in to remind him when the contact schedule changes and how he should behave during handover.

Tbh I did reply because I don't want them going into court claiming they tried to resolve things but I was non responsive. But my reply was rather unprofessional, I told them it was laughable to be hours late to see your child then demand 5050 and that their threats have absolutely no basis and nothing to do with our child. I'd sent them an email about the recent contact, how he was late and then did handover in a dangerous and upsetting way for our young DS that was not what was agreed in court. I was expecting a snarky reply to that. But what got was just absolutely laughable, the audacity!

OP posts:
Lavenderandbrown · 31/07/2026 12:51

My ex husband had 6 yes six solicitors during our divorce and then two yrs post divorce legal proceedings. Sometimes two showed up and my solicitor had to tell one of them…oh sorry didn’t steve tell you he fired you?

behind the scenes all the solicitors of family court are friendly colleagues and court is a money making business. Retrospectively I feel the legal system (in the USA) allows abusive men to continue to financially and sometimes verbally abuse their wives for another two years just to keep the money coming in and the legal system standing.

FlorenceLawrence · 31/07/2026 12:49

What an awful, useless man OP - you must be so pleased to get rid of him, even though you have to put up with these legal wranglings now.

Solicitors will essentially write whatever a client tells them to. A good solicitor will advise against saying xyz, but will probably write it if instructed to.

Probably wise to reply, politely declining his offer to settle out of court and that this will be dealt with by the Judge in the next hearing.

Likeiloveyou · 31/07/2026 12:49

I would reply to the solicitor several times asking different questions, a few days apart, so ex incurs additional costs each time solicitor has to contact you.

thetimeisnow · 31/07/2026 12:34

You dont have to reply to the letter?
If he wants those demands, then he has to pay the costs to apply.
This manipulation.

Aiming4Optimistic · 31/07/2026 12:33

I'd reply with a simple 'see you in court'. Or ignore - every letter he sends he has to pay for.

mindutopia · 31/07/2026 12:32

Just ignore it. You have a plan in place already. Solicitors will write any letters they’re asked. That’s how they make money. We have a dad at my dc’s school who has his solicitor write a letter to the parents of every child who upsets his precious child calling it harassment and threatening all sorts of legal ramifications if our dc won’t be friends with his. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Okay then. It’s just billable time. Ignore.

NotAnotherScarf · 31/07/2026 12:31

A true story to illustrate that solicitors are just there for the money

I was a claims manager we sent the customer vouchers to settle a claim. She changed her mind and sent them back in thd normal post . They got lost. As she didn't take any care and had no proof we said nothing could be done and closed the claim.

A solicitor wrote . I replied pointing out she didn't exercise reasons care and had no proof so there was nothing we could do and she couldn't make a second claim as insurance has an implied and case law supported rule that you always act as if uninsured.

Solicitor wrote back threatening legal action. On the same day we got another letter from a different solicitor repeating what solicitor one said in their first letter.

Clearly solicitor one told her I was right...but still took the money to write to me again.

I simply photocopied all of the letters and sent them to both solicitors with a brief note explaining i was right

So op just write back to the solicitor tell them to go ahead and pointing out that given your ex forgot contact its very very unlikely any court would find in his favour and that social services have already intervened in contact. Re the rate (and I am really sorry that happened to you) remind him that any action would take place in open court and that his name would forevermore be linked to a rape case.

I would also tell the solicitor that you know they are just representing their client but just because its a letter from a solicitor you are not concerned about the contents because you all know its absolutely ridiculous.

Don't ever be afraid of solicitors...they are human and most actually don't know all that much about the law

Original poster
Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 12:18

Passaggressfedup · 31/07/2026 12:15

Given that they want to agree outside of court I suspect they know I court ruling isn’t going in their favour
Not forcibly. They could strongly believe they'll get 50/50 but want to reduce solicitors fees representing them in court, which will can grow very quickly.

Ultimately, you don't have to agree to anything and just wait for the judge's decision.

There is no way on earth they'll get it. The judge told them as much at the last hearing. And it's the same judge. They have absolutely no evidence to show he's ever provided any level of care beyond taking him to fun places and he is showing he can't even be on time to arranged contact and is consistently emotionally abusing DS during those sessions. He'll he lucky to get what I offered in the last hearing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Esmeraldathe3rd · 31/07/2026 12:16

notanothernamesurely · 31/07/2026 12:13

The solicitor doesn’t have to support it. They just are doing as their client asks.

Given that they want to agree outside of court I suspect they know I court ruling isn’t going in their favour.

Cant really comment on their threats because you don’t really say what they are. I’d be inclined to just ignore the email if I’m honest.

Oh he wants my car that I bought and is in my name. And he wants my house that we agreed he could buy me out of but he hasn't bought me out of so I can't give him until the mortgage is paid 🤷 I don't feel he told them the full story there.

OP posts:
Passaggressfedup · 31/07/2026 12:15

Given that they want to agree outside of court I suspect they know I court ruling isn’t going in their favour
Not forcibly. They could strongly believe they'll get 50/50 but want to reduce solicitors fees representing them in court, which will can grow very quickly.

Ultimately, you don't have to agree to anything and just wait for the judge's decision.

notanothernamesurely · 31/07/2026 12:13

The solicitor doesn’t have to support it. They just are doing as their client asks.

Given that they want to agree outside of court I suspect they know I court ruling isn’t going in their favour.

Cant really comment on their threats because you don’t really say what they are. I’d be inclined to just ignore the email if I’m honest.

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