To think this email from my exes solicitor is just absolutely laughable

i would reply thanks for letter currently happy with court proposal and please note late 3 hours. Short and sweet

Dear Solicitor

Thank you for your most recent correspondence.
Please advise when Cockwomble Ex is planning to pay off the mortgage as agreed.

Yours Sincerely
Esmeraldathe3rd

This seems so unfair for you and your poor ds. Sending sympathy.

I’m not sure the solicitor is swindling him and I’m bemused you’re blaming rhe solicitor. The solicitor is acting on instruction from the client, they are likely advising low likely hood or in advisable etc but you’ve no idea what he’s telling rhe solicitor.

this is your ex. He’s the one to blame. This is not the solicitor,

lots of people have told me I should write a book about all the claptrap my ex used to dream up! My solicitor called him a fantasist.. I just call him a knob

Hang in there OP, keep a detailed diary of all the nonsense and let the judge tell him what he needs to do.

Op he sounds like a right bellend. Mine used to love sending me solicitors letters. For ridiculous reasons. I just ignored them. Our dc were late teens early twenties and he actually demanded he had them 50/50 , they were adults ffs lol. They were baffled as they saw him regularly around uni, jobs, college. Bloody prat. We’ve been divorced 30 years now but I got a letter last year demanding I inform him what illness I have and what my provisions for the dc will be if I die. Had a right good laugh over that belter

How do some solicitors sleep at night - I know they say they’re just ’doing their job’ but jeez it beggars belief to us ordinary people!!
Good luck OP - sounds like you and your son deserve much better especially from your horrific ex and his solicitor.

Try Arkell V Pressdram as a response

https://jollycontrarian.com/index.php/Arkell_v_Pressdram

Or

https://www.sra.org.uk/solicitors/standards-regulations/code-conduct-solicitors/

In particular 2.4

1. You only make assertions or put forward statements, representations or submissions to the court or others which are properly arguable.

@Esmeraldathe3rd

I agree with PPs. Respond with absolutely no emotion and no information. If you respond as you did it gives them insight into your thought processes and possibly either into your strategies or what their strategies should aim for. It may feel good to respond with snark but it really doesn't do anything to help you.

"I have received your communication, the contents have been noted" or "passed on to my solicitor" if you have one.

And honestly why would his solicitor support that, they seem like the most incompetent people I've ever met, it baffles me

Because they're being paid to say what the client wants them to say? Solicitors would be much poorer if people didn't need them so it isn't in their interest to work for a quiet solution. Look at the Prince Harry trial, those barristers etc must be clapping their hands every time Harry comes up with another batshit idea.

So do lawyers not have some sort of code of conduct or something? Are they not actually obliged to refrain from giving clients advice that's just legally wrong? Or from not telling the client "no, I'm not going to send someone a letter full of pseudo-legalese that's just wrong"? I'm thinking of the pp who said someone she knows who sends legal letters to people whose kids won't be friends with his. Is the solicitor not actually obliged to tell him this isn't a legal matter and he'd be wasting his money?

Sad to read about this and another example of why there should be changes to the law, so that such ridiculous behaviour has consequences. I would love there to be some definition of a form of bullying using legal processes, which carried some sanction.

Hope the judges see sense, and as suggested, the minimum response for now of acknowledgment seems a sensible course of action.

Yes this. He baited you and you gave him a response, which I'm sure he was pleased about.

Just keep it as brief as possible, no opinions etc, just "message received, I will not be changing anything at this time".

@Esmeraldathe3rd

“Dear solicitor

thank you for your e mail/letter of xx.

The contents of which are noted”

that is always the best approach to stupid stuff.

A solicitor will start with a higher demand than they think they'll get. Then it looks reasonable when their client agrees to a reduced offer.

Document everything, obviously keep copies of letters, threats etc and take to court. They cannot threaten you with cost items not their place to issue judgement but just be factual hard but necessary.
what does your solicitor say

Reminding him when the contact is and how to behave is not a solicitor’s job. They aren’t his mother.

I’m sorry you’re embroiled with such a cunt OP but I agree ignore the letter and let the courts deal with it. Solicitors can only act on their client’s instructions and based on what their client tells them and I imagine he’s been economical with the truth.

If it is any consolation solution his solicitor probably thinks he is a complete wanker but solicitors have to act on instructions from their clients. They may well have tried to advise against but if the client says “write this” they have to write that.

I think its brilliant tou can see how ridiculous it is now. It can take so much work to stop responding to their threats and accusations and all the rest.

Characters like this really believe the shit thry are saying so you cant argue. Just sit back knowing no judge eikk support that!

(There's a woman on here a few years ago whose ex, years later, was sending increadingly crazi solicitor letters demanding things like she pay him bavk for "storing" they're dc's stuff poat divorce, petrol money for trips they took while they were married, ans her engagement ring
They are all batshit)

I’d always reply to things like this, even if it’s a case of “got the email. I will not be going outside of court. If you’d like to take it further, I’ll see you in court.”

Let him send the letters. It will cost him which is his own fault.

Solicitors will accept a client's money and write whatever the client wants. It does not follow that your ex has a legal leg to stand on. Keep on acting in your child's best interests and complying with the court order as as long as that isn't in conflict with your child's best interests - if there is a clash between these two, then yes you'll need to return to the court to explain why. Otherwise, ignore his ranting.

Solicitors shouldn’t just do what their clients tell them to. It sounds as if that letter - with potential threat about action against you in relation to the rape allegation - if you don’t do what their client wants for child arrangements - may well have crossed a line. There was a recent case of a family solicitor being struck off for misleading the in person other party with threats of issuing proceedings (that were fictional).
You might want to consider making a formal complaint to the firm about the solicitor in relation to this threat and also the conflation of financial and children matters in an inappropriate way.
If they don’t resolve it you could consider a complaint to the SRA.
I’m a family solicitor and it’s depressing to read about such poor practice.

@Esmeraldathe3rd Are you in the house now, until it sells? Your ex sounds like a petulant little boy who keeps wanting everything his way, as if he had the right to demand it.

Stay strong, document everything, always. Are you allowed to record your interactions without him knowing?

How is your DS doing with the visits? I am sorry that you and your DS are in this situation and I hope it gets resolved soon.😟

Don't lose your temper rise above it keep your cool state facts if you have too but ignore threats