I want to tell daughter in law to stop posing on photos

It's not just one generation - all women are judged on their looks and it's not them defining their self worth by their looks, it's society!

In a digital world, we have more opportunities than ever to see candid pictures of people vs filtered content and read the fucking awful things that people say about them online, in the media, and to their faces sometimes.

I grew up in the era where photos of celebrities had their cellulite circled, where women like Emma Bunton and Renee Zelweger's Bridget Jones were absolutely slammed for being 'fat' in the mainstream media, and where there was a nationwide tabloid countdown toward Charlotte Church being legally able to have sex.

But At least we could get away from it a bit - young women today are absolutely bombarded with reminders that if they speak out of turn or say anything controversial, critics will go after their looks just as readily as they will their ideas, often moreso.

They watched Donald Trump use social media to mock an autistic teenage activist on the world stage while his fans applaud him for saying he grabs women 'by the pussy' and women's rights are being dialled back and put under threat seemingly constantly.

I don't think they are objectifying themselves or deciding to value their looks more than is warranted - I think they are very aware that they live in a world that judges them incredibly harshly.

When people who are supposed to be their allies will happily take to the internet to suggest that succumbing to the pressure to meet modern beauty standards makes them a bad parent, and loads of people pile on to criticise the looks of 'an entire generation ' of women, it both cements the idea that looks are important while making it impossible to actually do anything about that without being accused of vanity and shallowness.

It's an awful catch 22 - I'm so glad I grew up before Facebook and camera phones as I would be so miserable if I was a young woman today.

Have we discussed filters?

Geez, there’s this one girl - late 40s - who I know for certain is not at all attractive but the rest of the world thinks she’s a glamour model as everyone of her photos on FB has a miracle filter. She posts a photo of her fake self daily - also with a pout - just for the ‘omg you’re gorgeous comments’ from old school friends that she hasn’t seen in 30 years!

Just ridiculous!

It would seem I’m very well connected with the best of the best posers. It’s very unfortunate 😂

Vacuous and in love with oneself. I know one age 45. It’s so unattractive.
She acts like she’s famous and the kids hate the photoshoots and are forced into it.

I really can’t fathom it.
Not even pretty.

It makes me wonder why?!
No one is interested quite honestly.
Endless pictures. I came off FB when my own kids were posted without my permission and in not a flattering light.

I agree, I can't bear all the pouting and posing. FFS. Just be normal and smile like we did! 🙄😤

Why else would it be hugely contrived posing? It suggests it’s to impress someone.

Yeah those make me really cringe too! Just wtf is going on with the world.

It’s very annoying.

You can be annoyed and find it annoying.

Social media is mostly fake and so many people post a version of themselves they want people to see that doesn’t match reality.

A friend of mine posted holiday pictures at the airport, drinking champagne, looking fabulous the reality was she had such a massive panic attack that she wasn’t sure she would be able to fly. She was hysterical the kids were having meltdowns and her husband and in laws didn’t know what the fuck to do.

(It took a while for her in laws to calm down about the holiday pictures actually as they just couldn’t understand it).

i think it’s crazy! Have a few members of my family in this era and it drives me crazy!

Yes depressing isn't it. I've even seen filters on children. I don't mean the cutesy animal type filters, I mean the skin smoothing ones, awful.

I understand and im in my 40s. I dont post thirst traps because Im happy with my husband and dont need loads of external validation. Also I just think its weird. I have biggish boob's that can easily look fab in photos.. But if I was to take a pic like that it's for my hubby. My kids definitely dont want me looking for attention online. The amount of my contacts both older and younger who want to get their bits out on the Internet I find a bit depressing. Its not like male attention is hard to get. I've come off socials for a while sometimes as I got down seeing this stuff as well as all the adverts telling me I need 1000 products to look better.
The worst ive seen is people getting the angles so their kids look more bulky at the front so they can look more thin at the back. That's just warped to me.

I feel you

This is so MN 😂 What’s it got to do with him that she’s pouting for photos?

Although I was jealous when my friend went to meet some hippos.
That is not a true friend, sneaking off to meet some hippos without you! 😡

What I don't understand @Fortnightly is why you are even Facebook friends with Amanda Holden?

Amandaland.

I really hate all the posing and pouting. I hate phones obscuring my view at gigs. I hate the stupid monochrome. The gormless posed happiness makes me cringe. It doesn’t hurt me and it’s none of my business but it is so fake and pointless.

This sort of thing sounds ripe for some mainstream soap/drama/comedy attention in ripping the piss out of it so it enters general cringe territory asap.

and thats about a random woman taking a few photos on holiday.

I'd love to know how you are when it's someone you actually dislike 😂

She doesn't sound that bad tbh. You sound a bit of a moaning dragon. Just don't look at the photos if they annoy you so much

If you don't want to have the DC, say no. The more often you say yes when you resent it, the more you'll dislike her.

She’s the type of woman your son chose, though. He could have chosen a more down-to- earth lady, the type who would put her kids first every time. Sounds like he chose someone shallow…

I completely agree with you. She is 40 ffs. This desperate attention seeking is nauseating and sets a terrible example as her looks seem to the only thing she values. Like the pics of the children and ignore hers.

YANBU OP

But you cant say it in real life, thsi is what this site is for, venting about idiots, so vent away.

Jesus, I'm a millennial and first gen user of Facebook. Yes, I was a twat with it in my early 20s and so were my friends, but the novelty soon wore off. It does for most people once they grow up.

She sounds lazy and shallow - that's not normal.