To ask mums of girls aged four plus

Yes the whinging!

This is really interesting.

Full disclosure - I don’t have a girl aged 4+. My daughter was 3 last month and she is very bright, very loud, mainly happy, and extremely strong willed. By contrast, my son was much more laid back at 3. Would still tantrum occasionally, but was mainly quite busy doing his own thing and was easily distracted from any upsets. Probably a bit more sensitive and less committed to a cause.

I was a bit smug that 2 and 3 weren’t that bad with my son. 4 and 5 have been much more testing, which I wasn’t expecting. Wonder what it will be like with his sister! 😬

I have 3 girls. One is 4 and has always been bossy and stubborn. DD2 is 3 now and she is very strong willed, she is either very sweet and well behaved or turns into a little monster attacking she sisters! A very wild character. She is the middle child tho 🤣 lots of frustration, not listening, can't trust them not to bolt.
I have to say, in my opinion the terrible 2s last into the terrible 3s. I can't speak for ages older than 4!

To put it nicely...an absolute cock.

I had a very sweet 3yo who turned into a high maintenance adult, having become fairly neurotic and perfectionist and competitive along the way.

My eldest was pretty lovely actually, boy did I get a shock when my second reached the toddler years! Different personality and much harder work. She is 11 now though and pretty lovely most of the time!

I have 4 girls. There is no way any of them bossed me around at the age of 3 or 4. I am the parent, I decide.

3-4 was vile. 4-5 is lovely, kind, empathetic, curious, sweet, FUNNY, engaging, brave, amazing

3 and 4 were absolutely awful. I even consulted with a child therapist. She’s fine now at 8!

I have 3 daughters. My eldest - now 25!! - was as good as gold. However I DISTINCTLY remember thinking ‘why do they talk of the terrible twos, when the threes are so much worse?’
It’s not like she was badly behaved. But fuck me, the whinging.

Ive often said DD is either the best person in the world or the devil incarnate. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground. Would say since going to school she's been far more than former than the latter. Also with a bit of breathing space I have more patience with the tougher moments and more appreciation for the wonderful bits.

Threenagers can be rough. Now she's 5 and is communicating more (would say it started not long after she turned 4) she's just getting better and better every day ❤️ want to bottle her up right now and come back to this time when /if she's a grotty teenager in 10 years time 😭 feel like we're in the sweet spot right now. Based on my oldest (7) and nieces and nephews it just gets better and better from here on in, until the teenage years, and even that's a phase

My DD turned 3 during Covid lockdown.
We lived in a flat, just me and her.
No garden.
It was… interesting.
Her only public tantrums were when she was 3.
Everything was followed by “why?”.
She drew all over the kitchen floor and blamed the “monsters”.
I actually have a picture of her in time out, in her Princess costume, fast asleep up the radiator, clearly thought too hard on her behaviour. She only went in time out for 3 minutes.

She’s now 9 and better behaved but still asks 20,000 questions a day.

Terrifying 3s!!! I found that to be the worst age, they are turning into little girls with opinions but still have toddler brains so are all over place.

DD 7 now - still sassy, stubborn and opinionated….. but funny, caring, loving, fun, polite and amazing company. Don’t worry :)

I found 3 really bloody hard. I think I made a post on here!

The smallest thing wrong would send her into a blind rage, some days I literally felt like I couldnt do or say a thing right. Everything became a battle despite me desperately trying not to make it one and I felt such an ineffective parent!

A delight now at 4 though, nearly 5. I still have a mild form of PTSD from the rolling on the floor tantrums in shops phase though, and now when I tell her she cant have something I brace myself. But now she just says 'Ok mummy' and puts it back 😀

Also a summer baby who went to school at just 4, has thrived.

Lovely at 5, absolutely something else at 3. She almost drove me to breakdown with her awful demanding behaviour and tantrums. Didn't sleep, crazy levels of fussy eating, destructive if not properly exercised every day.

She turned a corner around 4 and a half and improved massively when she got in reception. Full time school makes a huge difference.

Really lovely actually, she never had tantrums and was generally an easy kid. 12 now and a fucking nightmare!!

6/7 plus is when it gets easier
3-5 lots of big emotions

Nightmare at 3. Still a nightmare at 7 but bigger and stronger.

Three was the absolute worst year. SO stubborn, especially when it came to choosing her clothing, putting on shoes etc.

Seven was the next low point - complete know it all.

Now a teen and generally lovely. Much easier than three. Just not as cute.

I have the most amazing dd, kind easy to parent clever gorgeous. She was an absolute threenager, so sturbborn and easy to anger. She is 14 and I am bracing myself for a repeat stormy time through the teenage years tbh.

My DD was an absolute dream child until puberty/high school happened and alongside her (then)undiagnosed autism the wheels really came off.

She was a sod! I mean, I had to lock myself in the bathroom once as she wouldn’t stop hitting me and she kept kicking the door to get access . She ran out of shops, be rude and just horrid.

Now she acts like an angel. Is a bit of a smart arse some times but very helpful and sweet.

Mine is lovely in terms of behaviour but intense and emotional. Like well behaved at school, high achieving, got her first job the week she turned 13, what everyone would consider a ‘lovely girl’. She is intense and too chatty and emotional. I’d say she was much the same as a toddler, polite and well behaved but high needs and emotional.

My ds is also much the same now that he’s older as he was at 2/3. He was much more laid back, could potter about entertaining himself for hours with some mud or cars, a very easy baby. He is also a laidback, easy child who still potters.

Massively agree. Dd is about to go into y2, and a lot levels out pretty quickly. There are August borns who have flown, and September kids who have struggled academically, socially and emotionally... it's just very much about the kid.

That said, I have the oldest kid in the year, and she was ready a good 18 months or so before she went. That definitely has its own challenges!