Hand hold needed - away with cheating DH

He doesn’t sound like someone you’d want to be with anyway.
Rude, lazy, hurtful in arguments, overweight, no interest in participating in family life, no interest in his appearance.
sounds like you’d be better off without him regardless of this OP.

also, makes sense that it’s a paid service. Doubt he’d attract someone else, let alone a woman that isn't massively turned off by the term ‘milk tankers’. Any woman not being paid to listen to that would’ve run a mile, not flirted back!!

What a fucking loser. I am so sorry, OP.

You need to plan for life without him. Just try to emotionally cut yourself off from him. He is making is easy.

This! I know it is hard when you are upset but if you can throw yourself into giving your kids a lovely time, especially days out away from where you might bump into him, you can salvage the holiday for them and may find yourself enjoying it too.

plus - it is a massive rejection of him and shows he’s not needed.

Im sure whoever is sending him messages is AI generated or a man or woman again using AI photos making money and having a great laugh at his expense. What a dick.
as for his behaviour, try and enjoy the holiday with the children, leave him to it, barely interact with him.
Then when you get home make your plans. Don't just put up with it, believe me been there done it, you and your children deserve more.

It’s really not much of a holiday for you or the children is it…

Absolutely all of this!

OP, I'd try to get your head round this being a holiday for you and the children. He's an annoying extra that you can opt out of.

If you can get your head round it being you and the kids on holiday, it'll be easier to muddle through each day and enjoy it (as much as possible) together. Please try to do that for your children if you can. As a child, I always knew when something was 'going on' between my parents and I feel like I lived in a constant state of anxiety.

You and the kids deserve so much more from life. When you get home, you can act on it.

Im so sorry OP, you deserve so much better. Please don't put up with this 💐

However, if it's a paid for service I so hope it's a man he's messaging who's having a right good laugh at his expense, literally and figuratively.

Even if he wasn't cheating or being cold with me him using such a crude term as "milk tankers" would have me wanting to divorce 🤮

Why on earth are you still there?

This is surely part of the problem, he has no respect for you whatsoever.

He doesn’t like, love or respect you, which is why he’s being a cunt. Leave him.

Oh yuck, how fucking pathetic of him 🤮🤮🤮

Stop asking to have time to yourself.

Get up and leave him with the DC, just as he has for this holiday so far.

As soon as you get home, get an STD test and get your ducks in a row.

I agree with PP, I think it’s an affair and not a service he is paying for.

I think he’s lying about this woman being a paid service. He’s having an affair with her and he’s trying to pretend otherwise.

Urrgghh OP your life will be better within in it. He sounds disgusting

I think it was obvious he was using a paid service, who else would ‘flirt back’ after he wrote that shite.

He really doesn’t sound like someone worth staying with frankly.

I would just remind him not to be spending so frivolously as he will need to save his money for his pension when you take half of it and the house. You are married so therefore I assume you own half of everything. Which is too bad for him. Down tools OP hit him where it hurts he is the responsible parent tomorrow don't just go to the Spa go out for tea put a lovely dress on and when he asks where you are going tell him you don't have to pay for attention because you luckily have maintained your looks during your relationship unlike him. I hope you have a suitable card of his to bill him for your extravagant day out. Really treat yourself you deserve it.
I am sorry that they are like this it seems worse the more we do for them. I really do not mean to generalise but every day it is another cheating post and it is always something so gross and degrading. You will find your glow up and your strength but right now time to get through the next few days.

If it’s true it’s probably a dude.

Either way he sounds like he’s reverting to childish behavior. This are not the actions of an adult man.

What do you want to happen?

Obviously, your marriage is completely over. You already know this. Unless, of course, you're willing to let him do literally anything he wants, at any time, with anyone, forever.

And even then, he might desert you.

Wow, so he is so grim that he literally has to pay someone to flirt with him yet he resents you for not wanting to go near him. Make it make sense!

I knew it was too weird for a real woman to continue flirting with a man that said he wished he could see her milk tankers!

He is so far beneath you, OP.

LTB but bide your time get all ducks in a row find a solicitor asap

Yuk op. And on a family holiday, out getting pissed while you look after the kids. No wonder your legs are clamped shut. This prize of a man isn't making any efforts to fix issues in your relationship. Normally I think mumsnet sees things too black and white, but in this case im with the majority. He's got no respect for you. Honestly you can do better.

Is he salaried or self-employed? If self employed he will hide his income to pay you less for the child maintenance.

Does he keep any evidence/paperwork of his income in the house? Do you have any friends you trust who have a house key and could get copies while you're away?

A paid service will not care if he is married or not