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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect a cleaner family bathroom when staying with in-laws?

217 replies

Lavendar01 · 30/07/2026 10:06

Husband and I are visiting his parents for a week, and his sister lives there too.

There's a family bathroom that only my SIL uses, and it's got sanitary towel wrappers on the floor, a wet used towel, and clothes piled on the laundry basket or the floor. No handwash or hand towel either.

We both feel this is pretty basic etiquette and hygiene. Are we overreacting?

If you were me, what would you do (or not do)? She has a tendency to react defensively to feedback

OP posts:
Om83 · 30/07/2026 10:18

How old is the sister? Sounds like my 13 year old daughter!! 😂

but seriously, if that is the bathroom that is intended for guests then absolutely the hosts should be making sure it’s suitable (habitable?!) perhaps they don’t go in there and leave it to your SIL to do as she pleases without realising it’s in such a state??

I’d say something like I couldn’t find the soap- have you run out and shall I pick some up for you? Might prompt your PIL to see what a state it’s in! And btw have you got a hand towel!

LimeGalah · 30/07/2026 10:18

Yeah you’re using her bathroom and doesn’t sound like she invited you. You can complain to your in laws if you want but it’s petty and likely just cause issues.

Go buy what you want. It’ll cost a few bucks but far less than staying in a hotel. That way you have what you want.

Marroon · 30/07/2026 10:17

I don’t think it’s ever really a guest’s place to moan about the home, whether it could be cleaner or not. You don’t have to stay there, it’s a favour to host you.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 30/07/2026 10:16

It's her bathroom.

If it's not clean, you can clean it.

I expect she doesn't think she should have to clean up for her brother's family coming to stay.

Lomonald · 30/07/2026 10:16

I would just tidy it up and ask if she can empty the washing basket, obviously she thought you were family and it was "fine" surely your husband can ask for some soap and towels.

Summersongroses · 30/07/2026 10:16

I know it's not excuse but how old is the SIL... A teenager? I think if it were me, I would just suck it up for the sake of peace and get it cleaned and tidied. Probably wouldn't take more than 20 minutes. Either buy a handwash when you're out and about or try to locate one in the house somewhere and reassign it!

dontmalbeconme · 30/07/2026 10:14

Lavendar01 · 30/07/2026 10:12

No handwash isn't unhygienic to you?

Show quote history

Right, but what makes you incapable of grabbing some soap/handwash from the cupboard, or indeed from a shop?

SoScarletItWas · 30/07/2026 10:14

Sounds like it’s not usually a ‘family/household’ bathroom. You are essentially using SiL’s personal bathroom. Up to her if she wants to bathe in a pigsty.

Surely there are towels in an airing cupboard or somewhere in the house you can get? Spare soap? Go and buy some if not.

YANBU in that I wouldn’t want to spend my time cleaning someone else’s bathroom - but equally I would want to use a clean bathroom. So pick one.

Doesn’t sound like she’s going to do it for you, however you phrase the ask.

Thirteenblackcats · 30/07/2026 10:14

Just ask for some handwash? Was there nothing else in the room you could have used to wash your hands? Bar soap? Shower gel?

FrootyCider · 30/07/2026 10:14

A) Your husband has a word with his sister/asks his parents for a spare towel and some soap.
B) Mutter under your breath, clean up a bit, get your own towel and soap/your husband asks his parents for a towel and soap.
C) Have a go at her in front of everyone and cause an embarrassment for both of you.
D) Leave.

Those are the options I can see.

Original poster
Lavendar01 · 30/07/2026 10:12

BMW58 · 30/07/2026 10:11

It sounds a bit messy but "unhygienic"?
Surely you don't mean the sanitary towel wrappers?

No handwash isn't unhygienic to you?

OP posts:
BMW58 · 30/07/2026 10:11

It sounds a bit messy but "unhygienic"?
Surely you don't mean the sanitary towel wrappers?

Madwoman94 · 30/07/2026 10:09

Either clean the bathroom or stay somewhere else. If the rest of the house is clean and pleasant Id probably just clean it

Whoops75 · 30/07/2026 10:08

Your husband can get a towel and some soap, you are being ridiculous imo

Lexibletheflexible · 30/07/2026 10:07

I'd clean the bathroom. That is the best message you can send.

Shoxfordian · 30/07/2026 10:07

I would ask your husband to have a word and/or go stay in a hotel instead

Sleepytimepleaseee · 30/07/2026 10:06

Don't stay with them?

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