AIBU to expect a cleaner family bathroom when staying with in-laws?

I think it’s gross but also not sure what you can do about it. Seems a pretty petty reason to fall out with your in-laws - just spend 5 mins sorting it out and move on.

I always, always clean my father’s bathroom before touching anything in there. Long and complicated situation but it’s on me if I want anything to be different.

“Hey your bathroom is out of handwash and there is no hand towel, where do you keep them?” If she kicks off welp not much you can do about that, I think soap in the bathroom is a pretty basic thing!

i would pick up soap cause i think its gross hot to have any and i would avoid all and any food prepped by her! 🤢

I agree with this.

I take a bar of soap when I travel incase there is no soap- in this case just buy some hand wash. You can ask for a towel!

How are you not getting that it's a shared family bathroom?

SIL may have it to herself when no other family come to stay, but when PIL invite their son and DIL to stay, the bathroom becomes a family bathroom.

This isn't about SIL's bedroom, it's about a shared family bathroom. Everyone has a duty to keep it usable.

Do you not have bathroom etiquette at home?

Is she paying rent

Hey MIL. Do you have any hand soap for the bathroom or shall I pop to the shop? And can I borrow a towel for me to use please as I forgot to bring one.

Simples

Passive aggressively cleaning and adding things to bathroom will sort it for some future time.
You will just not be invited to stay again in there as long as she lives there

Sounds like the bathroom is SIL’s only when there are no guests. SIL is also clearly unhappy and at a difficult stage in her life. I would get some gloves, bag the litter, put the clothes in the washer and wipe over with Antibacs and just get on. Yes her behaviour is not ok, but perhaps she doesn’t want anyone in her space. I wouldn’t argue, it’ll just make it worse.

Sil IS a minging fucker.

clean it to make the point @Lavendar01

and bonus points if you manage to drop it passAg into conversation with the “you must have been in a rush/on fire/running from the law but luckily we had some time to sort it out so it was fit for use”

Clean the bathroom, buy some hand soap or stay elsewhere.

WTF? It's her bathroom that she's expected to share. It's not for him to lecture her. Imagine if someone came to stay with you and gave you a telling off about your housekeeping (when it's only superficially untidy) cleaned it and then told you to keep it that way!

They don't have to invite you, but if they do, they should clean it. Just like you don't have to invite your mates for coffee, but if you do, they deserve clean cups!
Can't believe the people telling you to go to the shop-is it normal to go to the loo and then run round to the nearest shop (maybe miles away) with filthy hands?
And while leaving period products on the floor might be her business, the wrappers are a trip hazard and people younger than her have ended up with injuries after slipping on a bathroom floor.
And if there's no soap, how is she washing her hands? How clean are all the plates and cups you're using if it's abnormal for people to wash their hands there?
I'm no neat freak, but there's basic standards and handwash/towels are a minimum.

I always make sure my bathrooms are clean when visitors come. It's not an article of faith but I hate the idea that anyone thinks we're manky (I hate grubby bathrooms especially toilets everywhere else).

PS I was brought up to clean up before visitors come, I guess not everyone was!

Sanitary towels are a bit gross, but generally I would have taken my own towels, had a bit of a clean up and just got on with it. Unless the rest of the house is awful?

I’m assuming this is her home. So whilst it would be nice of her to clean it, I sort of think you’re imposing on her space in the visit and I would just take it as I found it. Grab a hand towel from the cupboard (or bring one), grab or bring some soap. I wouldn’t make this isn’t a big deal honesty, it’s just not worth it.

I don't think a bathroom should not be clean and tidy full stop, guest or no guest anwyay 😂

No need to be so precious though, your son is not a guest. I don't have a bathroom without towels, but I am sure anyone visiting their own house or their parents house can manage to grab a towel or ask for one.

Did this sound funny in your head?

Of course a bathroom should be cleaned and tidied before you have guests and make sure the basics like handwash and towels are in there!

I honestly feel like I live on a different planet sometimes 😅

As to what I would do about it, say nothing and have a quick tidy up/clean around, get your Husband to ask for some cleaning wipes, towels and handwash. You shouldn't have to, but it's what I would do if you'd be on a hiding to nothing with the sister.

Stay in a hotel…….otherwise take your own towels, toiletries etc. Simply stride over all her crap…….you don’t live in the bathroom!

Get the bleach out, give it a good clean and put the laundry basket, with all her stuff in it, outside her bedroom. Tell her you will put it back in the bathroom when you leave. She is a minger and doesn’t give 2 hoots how this reflects on her.
Your in laws are probably too scared to enter her space in case they get an ear full!

Is it genuinely a family bathroom or is it just her bathroom but not attached to her bedroom?

How many other bathrooms are available for use? Why don't your PIL use this bathroom?

One of those threads where I seem in complete disagreement with the rest of MN. I think it's really disrespectful to be hosting people, even family, without cleaning and tidying the only bathroom the guests can access. Clean towels, handwash/soap available, and a clear floor seem like the absolute bare minimum, and while OP could provide these herself, the posters acting like she's unreasonable to be surprised at the necessity are sort of telling on themselves. IMO.

I like the way that OP frames her judgement & criticism as "feedback"

My parents never clean their bathroom when we visit. And it's always filthy (I'm talking to the level that I seriously have to consider whether it's worse to use the bathroom sink to wash my hands after going to the loo, than not wash them at all. I ended up doing a basic clean (a proper clean would take forever) and minimising the times I visit.

In their case, it's because as we are viewed as family they see no particular need to make any efforts with regards to cleaning the house as they would if it was an unrelated guest. Even though I've never lived in their house and haven't lived with them for over 30 years. Part of still putting you in the "child" bucket.

This really made me laugh! 'Living like an animal'? For goodness sake, it is a bit untidy and there is no hand-wash. I always carry soap in my wash bag anyway, or would nip to the nearest shop. Life is too short to worry about minor inconveniences.