AIBU to expect a cleaner family bathroom when staying with in-laws?

Suggest ask politely for a couple of towels and some soap if there isn't any and close your eyes to the rest.

Well not really - I don't find it odd that a 30 year old would leave clothes and wrappers on the floor, but I do find it odd to think that she would never wash her hands, and I know from MN some people can't bear the thought of others using their soap, granted especially tradespeople, and also think using people's toiletries when visiting them is rude so I don't think it's a massive leap to think the sil may have done that, though she probably hasn't, which was why I put the '?!'.

Personally though, I do tend to take against OPs who just post something someone has done that has annoyed them without ever saying whether they raised it with the person and what the outcome was. It's all a bit, 'Please join me in slagging off this person...' which is a valid enough use of AIBU, I suppose...

You’re not being unreadable, OP. You can tell the people with the scuzzy bathrooms! Who throws sanitary wrappers on the floor. I’d ask her for clean towels and some soap, otherwise you’ll have to get your own. She sounds slovenly and grim.

Must be hard to be so confused! Most people would consider having some hand wash as basic hygiene

Do you have such low standards when you host? Or are you like this all the time?

Agree. Though I am sure most people don’t behave like this in real life. They just automatically have to have a go at the OP. It’s ridiculous.

Maybe the sil has some expensive handwash she didn't want you using so has taken it to her room?!

People do really fall over themselves to invent stories on here!

Some people are so weird on this site. Of course it’s slightly unpleasant and it’s pretty poor hosting on her part.

My mil and fil house/ bathroom is gross like you describe. We just don’t go to theirs any more. They come to us or we meet somewhere.

It's not a race to the bottom.

I'm with you - that is pretty grim for guests.

You don't have to stay there, no, but having been invited (I assume you didn't just rock up, unannounced) one would expect the hosts to make it comfortable at a basic level... A clean, tidy bathroom with soap and towels. I mean, that is just basic hygiene. If that's aspirational for some people, they probably need to clean the mirror and take a look at themselves.

I'd suggest you ask your husband's parents for some hand soap and towels. That will at least make them aware the bathroom is inadequately stocked. They might not have looked in and assumed your SIL had had the decency to sort it. If things don't improve from there, you husband could speak to your parents and just describe the bathroom as you found it. Either they will see no problem (in which case, if I was you, I wouldn't be staying there again) or they will understand without you saying anything more and either get onto their daughter to not be a dirty little scrub or sort it themselves. If they do see it as a problem, when your husband speaks to them, he should also offer to clean it. Shows your not just expecting the parents to pick up the slack and you're happy to much in.

I wouldn't clean it without first saying that's what you're doing, though. I'd be absolutely mortified if someone did that in my house.

Ask for a clean towel and buy some handwash if there is not some on the pantry shelf.
If there is no bin for SIL to pop paper wrappers in, buy one to contribute to family communal space.

Given that SIL will not have cleaned the toilet, I would clean that, and also the shower, basin and bath. Then use and enjoy staying with family.

Wash your sheets and towels before you leave, to help parents out.

You may be right; it’s not really acceptable. But you need to just deal with it and not stay there again.

It would concern me as it means sil doesnt wash her hands after using the toilet, then touches things like the kettle etc

Would actually make me feel abit sick

but the basics, like hadwash or soap, hand towel? like surely she would need that for herself when using the bathroom?
well I agree about the soap, but she probably just dries her hands on her bath towel. We do.

Yes it is pretty basic etiquette and hygiene. I would be embarrassed if one of my son's were doing this in our house and would have to have a word. But I'd also automatically check a bathroom before guests arrive.

Go and ask for a towel?

I would lovvvvvve to have your problems.

If anyone offered me "feedback" about their stay with me they wouldn't be getting another. It's not trip advisor.

Yeah that’s a bit much. Even people who are a bit grumpy should have a tidy up for guests. Is she not embarrassed??

I think if it were me I’d ask for soap and a clean towel and put the rubbish in the bin.

is the toilet and shower clean??

definitely hotel next time!

It's a clear indicator what their hygiene levels are in the kitchen where they prepare food. I personally couldn't bring myself to have them cook food for me on that basis.

Go in with a pair of marigolds and some bleach and clean it!

I cant understand why you or your husband couldn't just ask MIL for a hand towel and soap? Surely MIL has more than one towel?

It’s not the best but end of the day it’s their house and their choice, this is the cost of staying in someone’s house, you have to put up with their standards. It’s not an Airbnb you’ve paid for it’s someone’s home. Stay in a hotel next time if you don’t like it.

Yep, it's shocking how slovenly a lot of people are. I know this from my own self-catering & property rental business. You'd tend to expect more from family though, but there you go.

I voted YABU purely because handwash costs £1, you shout - Hey Barbara, you got a clean towel there isn't one in here do you mind? - Tiffany you wanna pick these clothes up idk what to do with them?

Not everything has to be so weird, I literally can't see a reason that it's so awkward you can't ask your MIL for a towel or your SIL to come grab her stuff ?

YANBU in the fact that sure you shouldn't have to ask for these things, but YABU in the fact that you decided to post on here instead of asking anyway. But asked after you posted. Behave