AIBU to expect a cleaner family bathroom when staying with in-laws?

My home is always very clean because I like it like that, however when guests come I take it to another level and will ensure that it really is deep cleaned, get flowers in etc.

They weren’t doing it for your brother, they were doing it for his wife.

Did you visit alone or bring someone too?

I have a similar experience. We used to visit father in law post his divorce in a house with one bathroom with our quite young children in tow. To get to the loo there was always a mat of pubic/body hair to traverse on the white tiles. Always made me wonder about his hygiene standards as we never just dropped in due to the distance. I would never invite guests and not clean the bathroom to a basic standard at least.

Shes ignorant in my opinion. Why csnt you stay at a hotel? Travelodges and Prem Inns are fine. No agro then.

You sound like a scumbag!

Go stay at a Premier Inn alot easier! You have your own space and can be how you want to be. I wouldnt like that mess at all. We stay elsewhere when visiting family its just easier. Just see them in the day and for dinner.

Sanitary towel wrappers are not dirty or unclean. It's littering/untidiness/laziness to leave them on the floor, the same as it would be for the plastic seal on toiletries.

I'd just ask "Could we have some soap and a towel for the bathroom please?"

I disagree. My in laws would never come up to us so beg us to visit them.

The least I would expect is a clean bathroom.

I always give a guest a clean towel. Don’t you?

Oops missed that!

Those who leave their bathrooms unkempt for their guests have no understanding of hosting and making their guests comfortable.

If taking pride in my home and leaving my bathrooms clean for my guests means I'm self-righteous, then yes, I am self-righteous. I presume you appreciate filthy surroundings.

clearly some people DO leave their bathroom in this condition without any problem at all. Don’t be so self-righteous.

Our bathrooms/cloakroom are pretty clean but I slways clean the loos and put out clean towels. There is always hand soap available and I would never expect a guest to have to clean up after us, find their own soap or worse, buy anything they needed. Everyone is different but it's a matter of showing care and respect for your guests and, on another note, keeping the bathroom clean and hygienic. I'd probably stay elsewhere next time.

What bathroom does your MIL use?

I think the difference here is that this is not your husband’s sister’s house. If it were, and she were paying all the bills, I suspect she’d look after her living space better. She’s reverted back to acting like a kid and your MIL hasn’t picked up the slack.

The OP prefers clean environments.

What's wrong with cleanliness?

The thought of stepping foot into a bathroom with dirty clothes on the floor, dotted with sanitary wrappers, is making me feel sick. No hand wash either?

She is unsanitary, and it's a clear indicator of how she lives. I wouldn't eat or drink anything she prepares.

Goodness me. To think some women are not washing their hands after pooping or changing their sanitary pads or tampons.

Hazardous.

Why should she? 🙄

It's a bit rude of your mil to invite you but not ensure it's clean. We have 2 ensuites and then 16yo ds uses the main bathroom. When people come to stay I scrub it till it sparkles and stock it up with toiletries and he is even told to use our ensuite so he doesn't trash it. For now, I would go and find cleaning stuff and sort it myself. Use my own shower gel as soap and in future stay at a hotel.

They aren't here guests, sil is staying there too. Yes she's a dirtbird but OP should apply sort that bathroom out and leave her to it.

"Hey SIL, where do you keep the hand towels?"
"Hey SIL, I grabbed some handwashing while I was out at the shops, it's a really nice one."

I'd give the bathroom a quick once over myself if it's manky. Yes, it's right to have the place in a good state for guests, including family, but I'd shelve any complaints for the duration of the visit.

I think you are making a drama over this. posting on Mumsnet about your SIL bathroom cleanliness. vibes are you don't like your DH family too much

I’d be booking into the nearest hotel and if that wasn’t affordable I’d go home to my nice clean bathroom.

I didn’t say it wasn’t! I said that wrappers and clothes on the floor don’t constitute a health hazard, and that there’s other explanations as to why there might not be soap beyond the sister being dirty and unhygienic. OP is perfectly within her rights to not want to stay there again if it doesn’t meet her hygiene standards, but people calling her relatives grim and vile online seems a bit much when it’s very possible that the sister just got ready in a rush and that the soap has just run out or been moved for some reason (both very plausible explanations in my home anyway!). It would be more understandable to be upset if there genuinely was no handwashing going on or if the bathroom was actually dirty.

Send dh to buy (or look in household store cupboard for) handwash a bin and spray and put him to cleaning. It is his family he can pitch in.