To not pay their air fare

@rookiemere We did direct cremations for both my parents, at their request, but it happened to be in line with our wishes also. Separately, we had a small, informal gathering for each with their remaining friends and family as a life celebration and these were lovely events.

You said your cousin said previously she had to work overtime to pay for the last trip, even though they stayed free of charge with you and didn’t contribute to food. Do you think your cousin will expect you to pay for or contribute towards the B&B? Do you think it might be clearer to say you are willing/able to contribute £1200 towards the trip as opposed to £1200 towards the flights?

@Freddiefisher I agree with a lot of what you say in terms of preserving the funds for care. As POA I didn't give out any gifts.

But a solicitor is unlikely to go through the person's historical spending as part of executing their estate. I was joint executor with my mother's solicitor and he was not interested in what she spent when she was alive, he was dealing with what was left in her estate.

As you say, the problem will occur if the money runs out and Social Services get involved. 8 years of funds sounds plenty but care costs can increase considerably, and the relatives may live a lot longer than you expect. One resident at my mother's care home lived to be 100, and another was 103 and had outlived all her relatives.

Granted it’s different in that situation, but OP has said her DF is pretty happy at the moment. Either way, stressing about them surviving after their savings run out purely because of the money is not a position I would like to be in.

It’s not always a good thing. There was a huge element of relief when my mother died. I wouldn’t wish her last months on my worst enemy.

A bit of a gamble to assume both will have passed on within 8 years, they can surprise you. Also wouldn’t fancy feeling stressed about my parents living longer than expected when that should be a good thing!

@rookiemere

I understand you wanting to pay the airfare, but you need to realize that anything you pay for now will end up coming off the 'back end' of their finances later. Meaning that that £1200 may mean nothing now, but the lack of it may mean a very great deal in a few years because we never know what may happen. Investments may drop in value. Care home fees may treble. Your parents may live much longer than expected.

I think the idea of paying for ONLY DCousin's airfare is the most sensible, but I'd let her know this will be the last year. That way she knows ahead of time that in future she will have to budget for future trips. After all, the visit is for your DPs to see their beloved niece, to make them happy. Not so that her husband can 'do the music scene' in your town. Also, if you limit it to her and if she's a good guest then she could stay with you, saving her some money and meaning that possibly future visits (her only) could occur. It should be easy enough to explain that due to care home costs your parents simply no longer have 'extra money'.

When our mum went into care my brother 'husbanded' her money carefully. He discussed everything with me, of course, but he (with my agreement) drastically cut Mum's Xmas gift budget (she was always very lavish) to a couple of simple gifts for her to watch us open and oooh and ahhh over. Sure, she could have afforded the expensive 'Pile O Gifts' but that money was best conserved for her future needs. And we eliminated all gifts just a couple of years later, once her dementia was severe enough that she no longer knew what Xmas was. Mum lived about 4 years longer than it was thought she'd live and his careful management of her funds meant that she never did without and never had to move from her lovely care home as the cost rose over the years.

Legally you’re supposed to administer the money in exactly the same way its owner did when they had capacity. What interest do you think the police have in this? Let alone a court?

He wouldn’t care if they were there in person or if they were video calling him! Which they could do every week if they wanted to!

Legally you are responsible for paying the care home and medical costs and nothing else!!! These need to be prioritised and the police and courts would NOT consider flying the niece AND her husband over for a holiday to have a 5 minute visit with your dad as legally responsible!!! You could get yourself into serious trouble!! The niece dan pay for herself to come over. The husband doesn’t need to come and she will be able to find somewhere to stay a lot easier and cheaper when there’s just her

From HMRC

^You can make regular payments to another person, for example to help with their living costs. There’s no limit to how much you can give tax free, as long as:

• you can afford the payments after meeting your usual living costs
• you pay from your regular monthly income^

Also

techzone.aberdeenadviser.com/public/iht-est-plan/gifts-out-of-surplus-income

Clearly you know nothing about the rules.

Honestly, where is this magic solicitor coming from too?

Nonsense post, except for the bit about the council. They DO care. Sounds like the money will last and the council will never be involved.

Meant to say ensure, obviously. The rules around this are very strict, and rightfully so.

I have POA for my DM
I haven't been taking her money to continue to pay for things for the grandchildren...only things she needs .
As far as I was aware,POA is to manage their money responsibly,to try to cover care home fees for as long as possible
Definitely not to pay university fees or air fairs of other family members
Your parents will have a solicitor who will go through all the spending when they die ...I'm not sure how you will explain the university money as trying to cover care home fees for a long time ..my DM also has dementia,she's had it over 10 years ,and had been in a home over 10 years ,her money ran out years ago ,and the council had full access to her bank accounts before agreeing to pay for her care ..
I'm not entirely sure how I could of explained airfare and university fees ,to the council who were about to take over paying £7000 a month for her care ..
I'm not entirely sure ,that you should be taking money out of the pot for these reasons op .
But I'm sure you know what your doing

No, there are rules on income too.

Based on the fact he has paid for the flights annually I would not be concerned about anyone considering it deprivation of assets but capping it as the normal price on the day you send the confirmation you’ll pay is sensible. Saying that this may be the last time you can pay as you need to see how much money there is makes sense so they can plan accordingly.

What do you think your father would do if he had capacity? Do you think he would recognise them and want to see them? If you think he would want to see them and that if he had capacity he would pay their air fares I think you probably should but just for this one last time
I would tell them your parents are very frail , that they need their savings to pay for their care so this will be the last time they will be able to contribute to the trip.

HMRC gifting rules only apply on gifts made from capital. You can give away as much as you like from income.

To be fair the cousins haven’t yet asked for the airfares to be covered, only for a list of B and B . I would send them that, say that you are looking forward to seeing them but reminding them that the DP are frail and with dementia so visits will be very much limited to the care home.

The time to mention the airfare is when/if they raise it, at which point you let them know that the carehome fees are taking up huge swathes of the DPs income and assets and that has to be your priority as you don’t know how long they will need to have that security and care provided, so you don’t feel that you have the authority to use the money for airfares.

Absolutely. There are HMRC gifting rules that must be followed. The Court of Protection comes down heavily on any errors or mismanagement.

Offer a contribution of £1000 but be very clear because of change in circs this is the last airfare being supported.
The main problem is them staying at yours. Tell them categorically they aren't able to stay with you. At all.
It's a rotten situation and you won't be able to do right for doing wrong.