Can you fight?

Never been in a fight or seen a fight irl, and avoid any situation which might become dangerous or violent.

Men are stronger, and of course anyone attacking would have the the advantage of surprise.

I have been told how to make my fingers straight to poke into eyes, and scrape your foot/ shoe down the front of the calf ending in a good foot stamp then run like fuck, but would avoid a weapon because a man bent on violence, or a woman, with that experience would just take it from me and use it to hurt me.

My dc have both had self defence lessons as well as good old common sense and reading the room, not puting yourself in danger, or letting others get you into difficult situations.

I have had scary experiences despite all this, and have found my large, unfriendly dog my best protection.

That women should basically do whatever they have to in order to get away when being attacked by a man. If you have to get nasty, do it. Bite, scratch, grab his bollocks, stick your thumbs in his eyes.

I am finished then. I don't think I could do any of this. I fear I am a freeze girl. Maybe that is because I have been fortunate enough to not be in any really bad situation. Perhaps that inner anger would rise if I was? But I can't imagine it really.

I've had one proper fight. When I was around 15 and the other person was a 18 year old man.

Luckily for me I was martial arts trained and left him sprawled out on the ground in front of all his mates 💪. Didn't really injure him, more of a block his attack, unbalance him, sweep his legs away with a kick to the back of his knees and hit the deck kind of manouvre. Dusted off my hands and swaggered away.

Middle aged me probably wouldn't manage with quite the same finesse 😆.

I suspect a well placed kick in the face saved a sexual assault from escalating further. Fortunately I've always had strong legs. I woke up, processed what was happening and kicked so that change in dynamic put surprise back on my side and he left the room. Funnily enough that scrote never showed his face in that friendship group again, and I hope his neck was stiff the next day. I'm less confident that he learned a lesson about consent. It was a good while before #metoo and years before I really processed what that situation could have lead to within the next couple of minutes.

I did react physically to some girls getting physical with me at school. It wasn't an obvious fight, but I managed to think creatively and use my bag to get the better of them. They decided to find some easier targets to bully after that.

I grew up with a much bigger brother so while I'm very much aware of being the under-dog, I have grown up with rough-housing. Also being the underdog, I'm prepared to lash everything into it if need be. My line is that I'm stronger than I look. I can also run and have a decent sprint if pumped for it. I enjoy boxing with pads and have a reasonable level of force for my build. I would also use any "dirty" opportunity avaliable in a situation if needed. I do not have physical advantage over the vast majority of remotely healthy males, but there is some skill there to exploit surprise if the window arises.

There is always the risk of freezing or fawning, and that is an absolutely legitimate survival strategy.

Yes. I did Wu Shu Kwan for years, chinese kick boxing and worked in a mens prison medical unit for 7 years.
Not so much now as Im 64 with arthritis but Im pretty sure I could give someone a good run for their money if I had to.

My instinct is to shut my eyes. Not helpful in a fight or when under attack. Or even when a ball is coming my way.

I remember doing fencing at PGL. Not only did my eyes keep shutting but I made an involuntary squeal of terror the whole time.

Useless.

No - I really don’t think I could fight. I’ve never hit anyone in my life. I can just about picture myself biting someone, or scratching them, but that’s about it. Definitely couldn’t run either!

Not since school. But yeah, I reckon I could. Like pp I grew up in a rough part of town and had to defend myself regularly, I was small so I learnt to be vicious and fierce. I haven't lost that.
I wouldn't want to fight, but I also can't run so I would be a stand my ground and do some damage person.

That's the thing isn't it, we don't really know how we will react until it happens. We also may not react the same way every time - having fought before doesn't necessarily mean you won't freeze next time. Martial arts or self defence training doesn't guarantee you'll get away scot free, it just makes it more likely that you will do something that might buy you some time to get away. Hopefully a lot of time! The other key thing is, no matter what you do, do it loudly. Scream/shout repeatedly, over and over, until someone helps or your voice gives out.

Seconding both of these posts. I'm an sexagenarian karate black belt so would fight back as I can't run any more, but would have to depend on the shock of that giving me a chance to get away. I've never been put to the test thankfully, and hope I never am, but am now looking at some close-up ju-jitsu moves as something that might work better for older women.

But the underlying thing I wanted to emphasise from these two posts is to never underestimate the strength differences between men and women. We're no match, so we have to look at other ways to defend ourselves.

If anyone went near my dogs, I’d fight, and I’d hurt them. No fucker hurts my dogs.

I can completely understand the freezing when being attacked though. That’s survival.

Yes, in a way. From a farming background and had horses all my life, so I’ve always been a lot stronger than I look and have an incredibly quick reaction time and reflexes. And although it takes a lot to arouse my temper, when it fully blows its of the red mist variety.
I was the victor defending myself in two separate situations during my school years from a much larger boy and a pair of girls that outmatched me weight/ fighting wise.
And not exactly a fight but once instigated removing a piece of shit bully in my student days from a situation they had no rights to be in, probably just as much due to my adrenaline/ rage than any skill.
But I’m under no illusions that other than aiming a lucky first shot that gave me chance to escape, I wouldn’t stand a chance against a man, even one the same weight and height.

I grew up in a huge family in a really dodgy area. Can confidently say that I could kick the shit out of many a person.

I haven't physically fought in years. Probably wouldn't do too badly if the need arose but I'd rather it didn't. I feel like I clawed my way out of that lifestyle.

I grew up in an area that could reasonably be described as rougher than a badger's arse. I went to the grammar school and we used to regularly get the shit kicked out of us walking home from the bus by the comp kids so yes, I learned to fight back! If they were really bad I'd set my brother on them but, for the most part, I could handle myself.

I live in a very genteel village outside Cambridge these days so I literally can't imagine seeing someone start a fight, but I reckon, deep down, I've still got it if I needed it.

As my mum says "you can take the girl out of Salford, but you can't take the Salford out of the girl"

I think that’s really important, you’re not fighting to win, you’re fighting to give yourself the chance to get away/get help. So using attacking moves with loud shouting - as loud as possible because the noise itself often knocks them off balance because they don’t expect it. Men often don’t expect women to go for the head (they’ll usually protect their crotch), so go for the head.

My training for black belt involved fighting men in the club. Now there’s no doubt they were pulling their punches, but it gave good experience of fighting someone bigger and stronger and learning how to both defend and attack. It also gave experience of being hit by someone much stronger. Basically if you couldn’t hold your own you didn’t go for grading, so you had to get on with it.

While I couldn’t win a fight with a man, I’m confident I could hurt them enough to get away, assuming I didn’t freeze but I have no control over that bit.

Yes I can fight. I did a martial art for some years, and I worked in a prison and did all the training that came with that. I've been in fights (in relation to my work, I'm not an aggressive person) and I know I can cope if I have to.

I'd never ever start a fight, but I'd protect my family in any way I needed to.

No. And if I tried it wouldn't end well. Those who do can take a hit (probably). It isn't like the films.

I think that’s a good point. For me it was horses, whom no human is ever going to win against on a physical level if the horse decides to fight back. I must have been taught it, even if only by observation, but I can’t remember ever not knowing that I was never going to impose my will or defend myself by sheer brute force. Not that I’d have wanted to if I could. The trick was letting them think you were more worthy of respect before they found out otherwise. To lead rather than dominate in the case of animals.
Now with an unhandled or very dominant horse that might be ignoring threats and/or making them back out of your space before they find out they’re stronger, with a human I’d go for the weak spots and in the case of a stronger one with the hope of buying time to escape, but the principle of bluffing is the same

Yes. My dad was a boxer and only had daughters. To be honest, it was always the confidence and sheer volume / low tone of my shouting that got me out of trouble. And I say that as a Brummy who ran the lock ins down Handsworth and Hockley - occasionally up Erdington way, they were a laugh a minute.

But I don't fight, just know how to avoid them really.

I'm almost 60 now and a teacher. I'm generally the one who separates the lads. Mostly because I say very forcefully 'Do you really want to hit someone like your nan?' They don't. Not a good look. In any case, you can always see the fights coming and you just have to catch their mood before it takes off. Girls are a bit more spicy.