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AIBU?

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Original poster

Moody part-time DP and his right to his “chilled days”

137 replies

Klokhet · 29/07/2026 19:38

Just had a really shite argument and I wanna know if I’m in the wrong 😭

My DP (well I’ll hold the “d” for now) is a part time supply teacher, as in he picks up shifts when he wants to. I’d say he does on average 3 days a week. Obviously doesn’t work the half terms, Christmas, Easter or summer holidays.

I work full time. I have 27(ish) days annual leave. Obviously it’s not DPs fault I don’t have a lot of holidays but there we are.

He’s been off for last week and obviously this week. He did spend one day “tidying the house” (read, putting a wash on, and doing the dishes), but the rest he’s done what he wanted.

Work is a stressful environment at the minute, and I’ve told him so many times I want to leave, that I’m burnout, that I’m struggling. This morning I woke up 10 minutes before I had to leave the house. Work is non stop from the moment I get there.

I’ve just booked us a holiday for next week and I’m really looking forward to it, needed the rest. Booked it this morning on the way into work.

I get home tonight and the house is a tip - PlayStation on in the lounge, dishes everywhere, laundry bin overflowing… and a DP curled in bed fast asleep.

I admittedly was a bit off with him and asked why he hadn’t done anything around the house. He said “it’s my holidays” and “I needed to rest”. I told him I needed more support as I was running on absolute empty.

Then DP jumps up from bed, starts ranting and raving saying it’s holiday, he cleaned last week blah blah blah… and when I said there’s no need to shout, he said “I do what the fuck I want”. Followed by “I’m just evil aren’t I, I’m the bad guy”.

He did some performative cleaning, slamming things down. Told me to go and put the clothes he’d just folded up away and then went back to bed.

I’m sitting in the lounge and he’s continued to come in and out (slamming the door behind him) to get about 3 drinks in an hour 🙄

Aibu to expect a tidy house and maybe even, shock horror, a meal prepared whilst I’ve been out at work for 10 hours, and he’s just been chilling? Or is it his time to relax?

OP posts:
Bluepower · 29/07/2026 20:54

Dweetfidilove · 29/07/2026 20:21

Sidebar - How do you manage to get ready in 10 minutes?

The man is useless and I never encourage women to carry deadweight. Dump him.

And book a holiday before work?

squirrelchops2 · 29/07/2026 20:53

He's a lazy fucker

MrsTomRipley · 29/07/2026 20:48

Honestly just LTB

HugeMistake999 · 29/07/2026 20:43

I think I might throw this one back OP

Bimblesalong · 29/07/2026 20:38

Please end this. My friend stuck with this situation longer term, altho married, had two children. When the kids were teens he left her and rinsed her for everything - half her decent pension, half the house (although most of the yield from selling the house went on joint credit card debts that he had run up).

What does he actually bring to your life apart from obligation to past memories?

MsPrufrockk · 29/07/2026 20:35

Klokhet · 29/07/2026 20:26

Why does he work part time? Hmm that’s a good question.
he told me at the beginning of our relationship it’s so he could gain a masters and was studying… this was then replaced by various side hustles that never paid off.

if I mention full time work he tells me to go part time.

Go on the holiday on your own, and tell him you want him out/you're moving out when you get back.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/07/2026 20:31

Obviously YANBU!

Do you have children? I can see several posters have asked but not the answer

Ferralraccoon · 29/07/2026 20:29

If there’s no dc he’s looking after, he’s a lazy bastard. Happy to sponge off you without contributing in other ways. Show him the door. Nothing more unattractive than a lazy man.

BogRollBOGOF · 29/07/2026 20:28

Klokhet · 29/07/2026 20:26

Why does he work part time? Hmm that’s a good question.
he told me at the beginning of our relationship it’s so he could gain a masters and was studying… this was then replaced by various side hustles that never paid off.

if I mention full time work he tells me to go part time.

Cocklodger

BogRollBOGOF · 29/07/2026 20:27

He's being idle, obnoxious and behaving like a bratty teenager. Actually make that worse than my lazing teenager who at least doesn't make much mess around him and at least has the excuse of full time at school and recovering from autistic fatigue.

With supply (especially over the summer term when work tends to reduce demand) he should be able to keep up and avoid term-time backlogs, and teachers normally use their school holidays to crack stuff that gets procrastinated on when workload is high.

Original poster
Klokhet · 29/07/2026 20:26

Why does he work part time? Hmm that’s a good question.
he told me at the beginning of our relationship it’s so he could gain a masters and was studying… this was then replaced by various side hustles that never paid off.

if I mention full time work he tells me to go part time.

OP posts:
MyLimeGuide · 29/07/2026 20:26

He sounds like my ex. Selfish and horrible.

Dweetfidilove · 29/07/2026 20:21

Sidebar - How do you manage to get ready in 10 minutes?

The man is useless and I never encourage women to carry deadweight. Dump him.

Loulou4022 · 29/07/2026 20:20

Usually I’d stand up for teachers but he’s a cheeky fucker!! I work 5 days a week in a school (support staff but pulled from pillar to post) and commute 8 hours a week. I’m currently off while DH is working and I am doing any and all housework, all meals and tidying up afterwards!

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/07/2026 20:20

Lazy bastard. I’d find that unbearably unattractive. He behaves like a selfish adolescent and strops at you like his mum. Gross. You’re not married, get rid.

SlashBeef · 29/07/2026 20:20

He's always "on holiday" by the sounds of it. Living like a student and being subsidised by you. Get out!

parkintrouble · 29/07/2026 20:16

Yanbu. You should both have equal leisure time.

Userexcuser · 29/07/2026 20:16

Looks like you've got yourself a cocklodger. LTB.

Naurrr · 29/07/2026 20:13

Another completely pointless man.

Do you own the house?

Likeiloveyou · 29/07/2026 20:13

Why is he only working PT? Do you own or rent? Do you have DC?

Dobeebeedah · 29/07/2026 20:11

That would be The End for me. Final Words "We are Finished".

WhatNoRaisins · 29/07/2026 20:09

“I do what the fuck I want”. Followed by “I’m just evil aren’t I, I’m the bad guy”

That's a red flag right there. You need to get away from this man OP.

AmberUser · 29/07/2026 20:09

I never say ltb but... I don't think I could put up with this, personally. Would be a deal breaker for me.

WinterSunglasses · 29/07/2026 20:06

We all want to know what his reason is for only working part-time, OP. If there isn't one, end it now.

ZenNudist · 29/07/2026 19:52

Tell me you haven't got dc together? Or is he working pt looking after the kids? Thst would be more understandable...

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