Moody part-time DP and his right to his “chilled days”

It sounds like he's not mature enough to be in a relationship or to be sharing a house with adults who are not his parents.

I get home tonight and the house is a tip - PlayStation on in the lounge, dishes everywhere, laundry bin overflowing… and a DP curled in bed fast asleep.

@Klokhet i would tell him the LEAST I’d expect is that he tidies up after himself, leaving dishes all over the place is frankly unacceptable at any point. He needs to up his game, and I don’t mean on the PlayStation.

and ok I’m old, but I’d never want to be with anyone who plays computer games, he’s an overgrown teenager and it’s deeply unattractive

Absolutely nothing wrong with him working pt if it's affordable, but that of course will mean picking up more in terms of housework etc.

Sadly just another typical selfish, narcissistic and probable mysoginistic, thoroughly unpleasant human being who IMO doesn't either respect or even like you...it's both heartbreaking and utterly frustrating that this is a story similarly told and retold so regularly on Mumsnet in one form or another...😥🙄
The answer must always be the same in that this guy will never change, he doesn't want to and doesn't see why he needs to, he will continue to be a complete waste of space and even faced with separation and ultimately divorce will still maintain his ignorance re any problems and cast himself as the victim! 😡

Really sorry OP. He's a nasty piece of work. Yes, he's on holiday but cooking a meal isn't a big deal if he's off with no other responsibilities. You do not mention children or pets. Having the luxury to work a 3 day week aswell. I get that teachers have it tough during term time, but if he's doing supply work, is it really the same? By living together splitting bills, could he afford to be part time if he was single? He sounds like a man child. You are not expecting too much for a meal after a 10 hr day. He sounds pathetic, sorry.

"I cleaned last week...."

'Yes, but you made a mess THIS week.'

Does he really think houses only need cleaning once a month or something?

OP, this seems to be more a feature than a bug. I'd be looking for a door marked exit, tbh. The last thing you need after your crush of a job is to come home and do another job.

I work term time only.
I have days in the holidays where I just kick back and watch TV.
But I will have done all the washing, hung it out folded it and sorted into piles, general housekeeping and will have started dinner by the time my DH gets home.

Sometimes he will get home to a bit of a tip but I will have been baking/ decorating/ gardening that kind of thing.

I do a good clean once a week, so just a quick flick round needed to keep on top of things.

Zero excuse to expect someone to come home and pick up the slack.

I'm just traveling back from our main summer holiday and I still have a full month of holiday ... It's only fair I share the load.

Tell him he is being unfair.

He seems like a bit of a lazy dick who isn't very nice to you. He isn't working to make your life better. I would if my partner asked. I have much better holidays than my DH and I have lots of lazy time but I check if he needs coffee and make him dinner lots and do a little more to make his life easier, cause that's what you do when you care about someone.

You deserve a better man.

Agree, what does this Prince bring to this relationship?? Sorry, May have missed replies, but who owns the house? Who pays the bills?
There are actually good guys out there, he just isn't one of them, soz xx Kick out & move on xx

Why is he part time? There is usually plenty of work available? If he only works 3 days a week, does he take care of all household stuff and shopping and cooking in the other days? You said ' “tidying the house” (read, putting a wash on, and doing the dishes),' that is not it. If not, he doesn't desperately need a holiday with lots of down time and leaving everything to you.
However, teaching is brutal and teachers / and everyone, if it's possible, need a few days here and there where they are 'off most duties'

Great answer, totally agree x

As others have said, a holiday from work is not a holiday from life. There is still general life admin to be done.
I’d love to know why he thinks he’s so special that he deserves a woman to run around after him. What a brass neck this guy has.

But do you spend all day gaming at the expense of basic household chores? Shopping? Cooking? Leaving the house in a mess? And expecting your dp to accept this when she is run ragged?

Sometimes, yes. Gaming is my hobby

This. What’s the point of him?

Get rid. This is no partner.

He is a lazy bastard there is no way in hell id be with a man like this..you deserve better.
And slamming doors like a child ffs do you really have to stay with him and calls himself a teacher he sounds like a total prick .
Get rid.

How can you possibly respect or even want this SLUB (selfish lazy useless b@stard). I doubt that this man child will change and you deserve so much more. Get your ducks in a row and plan for the future you deserve without this waste of space!

He’s an adult baby, do you need anymore red flags ?

Sounds like a big imbalance between the two
of you. I assume that you wouldn’t have enough household income to cover your bills and mortgage etc if you went PT too OP?

As others have asked, who owns the property? If it’s you, then I’d be inclined to tell him to buck up his ideas or leave. Or just to leave.

I'm struggling to see where the partnership aspect comes in.

100% agree with this. He probably wouldn’t have the option to work part time if he didn’t have a partner. Having someone steady who is working full time is enabling him to ‘opt out’ of usual responsibilities. Breaking it off now might be difficult but it’s a case of ‘suffer now or suffer later’

Yes, him

I can't imagine he brings much to your life op!

My guess is he feels entitled to sex when he wants it.

You deserve much better.

Why are you with this lazy, entitled, moody CF?