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Original poster

Best friend has made an issue about my DH’s joke over dinner

240 replies

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:13

We met friends (another couple) at an Indian restaurant last night. My friend ordered a particularly hot curry which we remarked on. DH made a joke along the lines of ‘that’s the face-sitting off the cards tonight’ to which we both laughed as did my friends husband.

Driving home, I could see she messaged me. I got back to read it and she said she thought DH had set out to humiliate her and she expects an apology.

Is it me or has she gone very OTT here?!

OP posts:
sweetpickle2 · 29/07/2026 18:35

That’s gross- and I assume they’re not that close if she’s not gone to him directly. If that was my other half I’d be mortified on his behalf and telling him myself how disgusting a joke it was.

Blimms · 29/07/2026 18:35

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:32

DH is in the trades so to speak and was brought up on a tough old estate so his language can be more industrial than normal, but I didn’t see how I am responsible for the comment.

This has nothing to do with working in the trades. Your DH is a vile man who thinks it’s funny to humiliate women.

Pistachiocake · 29/07/2026 18:34

If you were laughing and an equal participant, why she she only blaming him?
If someone made a racist joke and their partner laughed, I would hold them equally responsible.
Assuming you were all adults, no one I know would consider this offensive. Presumably they know that if you have kids, you might regularly have sex etc?

I wouldn't bother with her again. It's more the fact she had a go at him-if she really had a problem, she should be upset that you laughed. Is she trying to cause trouble between you? Don't let her, just say you'd rather hang out with people who can manage a night without pearl clutching.

MarthaLovesLaughing · 29/07/2026 18:34

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:32

DH is in the trades so to speak and was brought up on a tough old estate so his language can be more industrial than normal, but I didn’t see how I am responsible for the comment.

You're not responsible for your gross husband. But it would be kind to show empathy to your friend.

principalskinna · 29/07/2026 18:34

That is really gross

Tableforjoan · 29/07/2026 18:34

Being in the trades doesn’t mean he has no sense of who is around him.

A joke about having the shits is one thing mentioning face sitting is over the line for most.

She wants him to apologise. Fair.

You did also laugh and I’m sure her partner got an ear full one home so no fear of any face sitting for a few days anyway.

SandwichSuperstar · 29/07/2026 18:34

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:32

DH is in the trades so to speak and was brought up on a tough old estate so his language can be more industrial than normal, but I didn’t see how I am responsible for the comment.

Stop making excuses for him.

He knows how crass and humiliating he was to this woman.

DaysIllRememberAllMyLife · 29/07/2026 18:32

Hmm. There's been an awful lot of these DH and inappropriate comment threads lately.

dinoderry · 29/07/2026 18:32

I wouldn’t have texted but I probably would have told my husband that double dates were off with the pair of you.

dumblydork · 29/07/2026 18:32

I wouldn't ask for or want an apology from him, but I would not have found that amusing or an appropriate joke to make at someone else's expense. It's disgusting, to be honest! Who wants to think about sex or irritable bowels when they're trying to enjoy a meal?

Original poster
Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:32

DH is in the trades so to speak and was brought up on a tough old estate so his language can be more industrial than normal, but I didn’t see how I am responsible for the comment.

OP posts:
Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 29/07/2026 18:31

Blimms · 29/07/2026 18:30

Is this a reverse? I can’t believe that anyone would think that is an appropriate joke to make. It’s vile.

My thoughts exactly.

RampantIvy · 29/07/2026 18:31

@Berniewe I'm surprised he is old enough to be married. He sounds like an immature teenager.

Blimms · 29/07/2026 18:30

Is this a reverse? I can’t believe that anyone would think that is an appropriate joke to make. It’s vile.

Loulou4022 · 29/07/2026 18:30

It is rather crass! And tbh if she’s upset by it I’d just suck it up and apologise and make sure DH doesn’t say things like it again when with her.

TheresMillionsOfGeoffreys · 29/07/2026 18:29

Ew, why is his first thought, when hearing about a woman eating food, to analyse the details of her vagina?

That's weird.

Can he explain why he not only thought of her vagina but wanted everyone else to?

ChaToilLeam · 29/07/2026 18:29

It's a crass remark and far too personal. He should apologise.

Tableforjoan · 29/07/2026 18:28

Depending on closeness I could find it rather weird your dh’s mind went straight to me riding face when I ordered a curry.

mynameiscalypso · 29/07/2026 18:28

I’d have probably walked out if I were your friend.

JHound · 29/07/2026 18:27

It is a very personal sexual joke and not everybody appreciates that.

IronEverything · 29/07/2026 18:27

Your husband was vulgar.

Maddy70 · 29/07/2026 18:25

I'm not easily offended but that would gross me out

PeterRabbitsWhiskers · 29/07/2026 18:25

Crass and immature. You don't comment on other people's sex lives. If he had said it to you, fair enough, not to another woman. I am surprised you are ok with him picturing another woman like that.

He owes her an apology.

Ohdearnotthisagain · 29/07/2026 18:23

Yuck! Why did you think it was funny? Was it out of character for your husband (I hope so).

I’d be really annoyed if that had been said to me.

Gladitsraining · 29/07/2026 18:23

If I were your friend I'd be giving you and your H a wide berth band and finding myself new friends who knew how to behave in a civilised and decent way.

Sounds as though you and your H are ideally suited if you think that " joke" was was acceptable