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Original poster

Best friend has made an issue about my DH’s joke over dinner

240 replies

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:13

We met friends (another couple) at an Indian restaurant last night. My friend ordered a particularly hot curry which we remarked on. DH made a joke along the lines of ‘that’s the face-sitting off the cards tonight’ to which we both laughed as did my friends husband.

Driving home, I could see she messaged me. I got back to read it and she said she thought DH had set out to humiliate her and she expects an apology.

Is it me or has she gone very OTT here?!

OP posts:
JLou08 · 29/07/2026 19:37

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:37

I’d laugh again - there’s too much uptightness in this world (or is that just on MN!)

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It's just MN. Maybe your friend had been spending too much time on here. Tell her to lighten up.

GrumpyPanda · 29/07/2026 19:37

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:32

DH is in the trades so to speak and was brought up on a tough old estate so his language can be more industrial than normal, but I didn’t see how I am responsible for the comment.

Does he make "jokes" like this to female customers?

MandemChickenShop · 29/07/2026 19:36

your husbands joke was out of order

allthingsinmoderation · 29/07/2026 19:36

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:37

I’d laugh again - there’s too much uptightness in this world (or is that just on MN!)

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Your DH upset your best friend with a sexual "joke",your friend who was the but of the "joke " didnt find it funny and was upset (many women would be,it was repulsive by many peoples standards ,if not yours) Stop laughing when your friend is upset and tell your DH he upset her and should apologise.

TallagallaPenguin · 29/07/2026 19:36

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:32

DH is in the trades so to speak and was brought up on a tough old estate so his language can be more industrial than normal, but I didn’t see how I am responsible for the comment.

Don’t worry, it can be your DH who apologises, not you.

rollonxmas · 29/07/2026 19:35

You’re not responsible for his joke. Can’t she contact him direct?

12234m · 29/07/2026 19:35

You don't think you've done anything wrong nor that your husband has. Fine. But your friend is upset so either apologise and keep the friendship or don't and don't. But as for you h is in the trades etc as an excuse. Behave.

YourAquaLion · 29/07/2026 19:35

I think it’s really funny! Unless every single joke that night was sex-based that would get annoying, but as a one off, it’s pretty amusing. Wouldn’t say it to a stranger but best friends, you should be able to judge the tone. I just told one of my best friends and she also thought it was hilarious.

SpottyAlpaca · 29/07/2026 19:34

I also grew up on a rough council estate. But I know how to behave in social settings without making appallingly crude, crass & offensive comments to my friends’ partners.

In language that someone ‘in the trades’ should be able to understand, he was bang out of order & should apologise.

montysmaw · 29/07/2026 19:34

Gross. Just gross.

Bellaboo01 · 29/07/2026 19:33

Is it just me as i honestly dont even understand the 'joke'!! I must be missing something - how does having a hot curry impact on someone's vagina!?
I know that having the shits after a hot/spicy meal is common but, never heard this before.

Smudgist · 29/07/2026 19:33

It’s a really disgusting, nasty joke. I can’t imagine how he can have thought it was a funny thing to say.

allthingsinmoderation · 29/07/2026 19:33

It's you, his "joke" was vile, repulsive and inappropriate . It upset your best friend and he should apologise.

gamerchick · 29/07/2026 19:32

Definitely the summer holidays.

TheZanyScroller · 29/07/2026 19:32

Your husband was being vulgar and way too personal. Yes he should apologise.

PatNoodle · 29/07/2026 19:31

DaysIllRememberAllMyLife · 29/07/2026 18:32

Hmm. There's been an awful lot of these DH and inappropriate comment threads lately.

There’s loads aren’t there. All follow the same format as well

IceyBisBack · 29/07/2026 19:30

Total Crass

LittleGreenShoots · 29/07/2026 19:29

I probably wouldn't text for an apology, but I'd be distancing myself from future dinners with you. My husband is a very salt of the Earth Northerner but I've never had any jokes about my genitals or our sex life when out with his family or friends. Being used to him talking like this doesn't mean it's not still pretty rude.

Ewock · 29/07/2026 19:27

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:37

I’d laugh again - there’s too much uptightness in this world (or is that just on MN!)

Show quote history

You're very crass and both vile.

PinkyFlamingo · 29/07/2026 19:26

Berniewe · 29/07/2026 18:32

DH is in the trades so to speak and was brought up on a tough old estate so his language can be more industrial than normal, but I didn’t see how I am responsible for the comment.

That's your first comment after your initial post? Making it about yourself rather than acknowledging your friend's feelings?

AImportantMermaid · 29/07/2026 19:26

FFS, why would he say something that gross? Is he as thick as mince?

ThatCyanCat · 29/07/2026 19:26

If I accidentally upset and humiliated someone while trying to be funny, I'd apologise because I'd genuinely be sorry. And also really embarrassed that I'd failed so hard at being funny.

Why isn't your husband sorry to have upset her, and embarrassed to have failed at being funny?

susiedaisy1912 · 29/07/2026 19:26

it’s a crappy attempt at humour but I can’t say I’d be offended. I d just think what a twat your dh was for making such a stupid comment and then I’d forget about it.

rightoguvnor · 29/07/2026 19:25

Ha, I’m a lorry driver’s daughter, married to a motor mechanic and work in a carehome, people’s background is nowt to do with it. Making jokes like that is gross - it’s a double whammy, a joke about her bodily functions plus bringing her sex life into it. Over the dinner table. Gross.
Does your DH do performance farting too.

Bluehouse14 · 29/07/2026 19:25

That's a pretty disgusting unwitty comment.