Aibu to get getting so upset about the group chat

Oh god I hope you haven’t deleted it. If you have you need to reinstall this. You need to take the lead from your daughter and not make this about you. It’s going to be a fuck ton worse for her when they realise she’s not got it. They will all be at it and she won’t see it.

She wont learn new social skills if she isn't allowed to be a part of it in the first place. It is understandable to worry and want to shield your kids from everything - but if you keep doing that she will keep being unable to negotiate different situations herself.

She’s a child - you need to be the parent and get her off it. She’s not emotionally mature to deal with this particularly as people write things that they’d never say in person.

Any kind of social media for such a young person is really bad. Encourage DD to make friends out of school through hobbies, sports and other activities.

Why on earth would you let your 10 year old join a wattsapp or equivalent group chat???

Its not age appropriate hence the age limits put on these things as kids aren’t mature enough at this age to deal with the consequences of such things

id leave the group personally

I think you need to think why you think it is 'child friendly' when it doesn’t seem to be, at least for your child.

Does the class not have a WhatsApp group. We usually and have always done it this way. Your child mentions someone they would like a play date with , you contact the parents, parents drop them off and come in for a coffee so you at least know them a bit. And it’s usually reciprocated.

I’m shocked at 10yo this is even a thing. I have a 10yo and any play dates or meet-ups happen through parents!
absolutely absurd that a bunch of very young children have access to this and it’s all allowed by school and parents - exactly where all this bullying nonsense starts.

It’s really different worlds on here. My 10yo is still dropped off and picked up and arrangements made through parents. This is absolutely everyone we know. In fact our school and secondary school has banned all these types of groups! In fact if anyones child has a phone, it’s a reflection of bad parenting where we are.

App is deleted now so that's done. Good.

Encourage face to face meet ups play dates (that phrase sounds a bit young but you know what I mean).

At 10 they need real friendships we shouldn't be giving any space to mean girl online behaviour which is only likely to get worse as this girl gets older.

X

Unless it’s something truly outrageous/despicable, I’d try not to interfere too much. Check with with DD and maybe try to guide her a bit.

I’ve only had that issue twice and only one was really disturbing. I blocked her and explained to DD why and they were also not allowed play dates anymore. I still think about her every now and then because she was so unhinged for a child and wonder what she’s like as an adult.

It's very "Toy Story 5!" I'd encourage her to widen friendships a bit beyond the one girl she already knows, are there any after school clubs she can join? This will reduce the threat level as the mean girl is obviously feeling pushed out and has, unfortunately, been given access to an age inappropriate way to communicate this. If they are in the same "gang," at school, you should include her and invite her round. It sounds early enough that DD hasn't noticed, so you can nip the ill feeling in the bud.

Is this on phones and a WA group? Or is it on the schools Teams discussion board. If the former, it won't be the whole class, it's v young for a phone, if its Teams, the teacher will be able to see it and deal with the behaviour.

Never heard of a group chat for ten year olds. My kids and their friends managed perfectly well without it. Sounds awful. Well done for deleting it.

With the app at least you have some control of what is happening. Now you have none and they know they can say whatever so it might even escalate it.

It is very difficult.

She isn't going to be ostracised because she isn't in the group chat. She certainly isn't going to be better off by being in a group chat and getting picked on.

Im really surprised actually that a whole class full of children are being allowed to use one tbh, I thought at least some parents would not be comfortable. My youngest is 18 now though, so maybe I'm out of touch 😳

I wouldn’t delete the app if the entire class is on there except for her. Make sure it doesn’t escalate. If it does I’d ask the parents if they check the group and what they think should be done.

Delete the app. 10 year olds are too young for it, particularly when it's being used in this way.

Your daughter may be mainly unaware now, but it's only a matter of time before she isn't. At 10 years old.

There are no kid friendly group chats. This is standard behaviour. The friend is threatened so is putting your daughter in he place (as she sees it) some 10 year old grow out of this and some don't the point is the nasty ones have a platform and the others are not yet ready to navigate it in the right way.... exactly why 10 year old shouldn't be on group chats.