To ground DD (16) lied about tonight and plans to drink

29 replies

mullingitallover43 · 29/07/2026 12:19

my DD (16) is naturally craving more independence and freedom and fun in the summer hols . She’s a good girl, responsible and had a job and we’re generally happy to facilitate this- supporting arrangements, drop offs, sleepovers etc.

She had a plan for tonight to go to a mutual friends house with a friend then back here to sleepover. It sounded a bit sketchy so I checked her phone. This is something we’ve agreed on as she was put in an unsafe situation in contact with an adult last year.

i saw that she and a friend are planning to meet up with a group that our DD doesn’t know and they are all talking alcohol to the park. The friends had bought vodka for my Dd to have tonight (she’s never drunk before) She told us it was a party at a girls house.

I’m aware this is all classic teenage behaviour but I’m not okay with it and worried about her. I have a major surgery next week and want things to be safe and peaceful in the house in the lead up.

aibu to cancel her plans tonight-including the sleepover due to the fibbing and alcohol arrangements?

OP posts:

Hito · 29/07/2026 12:26

You drop her off and pick her up from the park. BIG conversation about the drinking and then let her decide. You're TRUSTING her.
By grounding and bollocking she'll only get more devious at hiding things from you. They have to make mistakes, It's part of growing up.

Sarahsduck · 29/07/2026 12:25

I’d want to know why she lied.
At 16 this may not be legal but it’s not unusual. Who does know the group in the park? Is the park safe? Are the kids nice?

Is she 16 almost 17 or just turned 16?

Would you have been okay with her drinking at a party?

Personally I would have preferred my child aged 16 to drink lager or cider. I would have have preferred them to drink in someone’s house or garden. Or at the least I would arrange to collect them. I’d prefer to buy them lager to take with them then leave them to a friends vodka.

I drank at 16 and would go to the pub or a night club. Times have changed and you can’t do that anymore and there are too many unknown men wandering about now to do that in many towns. But I would tell my mum where I was going, and when I would be back.

If you ground her she may lie more.

maddiemookins16mum · 29/07/2026 12:23

She’s 16. Would you say it at 18? I was working full time at 16 (albeit I’m old 🤣). It’s tricky though, you want to (naturally) keep her safe. Have you sat down and discussed your worries with her? At 16 I would have ignored you and gone anyway.

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 29/07/2026 12:22

Don't know about the grounding ..vodka for someone who's never drank before vvv bad idea.

Unflip

1 2