AIBU to feel hurt that family did not notice my weight loss?

Congratulations on improving your health!

I lost 3.5st and my Mum didn’t notice.

Genuinely didn’t notice. I went from a 16 to a 12.

She only noticed when a family member who doesn’t see me often pointed it out.

People at work didn’t notice until I was about 3st down.

This. Trust me they noticed🌷

I refrain from commenting on weight unless asked.

If you look and feel good, why do you care? You said you didn't need the validation.

If you wouldn't expect your family to say anything if you had piled weight on, it's unreasonable to expect them to comment on a weight loss. It's rude to comment on anybody's weight.

I have lost near 8 stone in the past 2 years… only 3 people have said anything. I too saw my whole extended family a while ago and no one said a word. I’m sure people have noticed but as PPs have said we are conditioned not to say anything

They’ve probably been reading mumsnet. It’s a crime to comment on anybody’s weight in any way don’t you know……

I’ve learned from MN that many posters think commenting on weight is not welcome - ever.

Some people perhaps don’t want to offend you. I always say to friends or family something like ‘have you lost weight? You look great!’ But I’ve seen comments on here that it is appropriate.

I guess is down to you. You can bring it into c9nversation

Cousin: Hi how you doing. Been a while. How did your holiday go? Etc

Op: Great. i lost two stone so I am feeling really fit!

Cousin: Oh I can tell . congrats

You are being very unreasonable just be happy that you have lost the weight and feel good. That's all that matters
Honestly people notice other people a lot less than you imagine. I had lost two stone before my husband even noticed!
I had put on a lot of weight last time I saw family I hadn't seen for a while and I know I looked very different from the time before when I saw them I'm pleased they didn't comment they just saw me as me and when I see them again I will be almost three stone lighter but again I don't want them to comment.

Then why are you so bothered whether anyone notices or says anything?!?

I don’t comment anymore. I know a few people who have lost weight recently through illness so I’m wary of commenting. So unless I knew you well and knew you’d been working at it I wouldn’t say anything

How did you lose this much in a month?

I have a general policy of not commenting on other people’s weight or appearance - I might go for a general “oh you look nice!” But that’s as far as I’d go.

Your weight loss sounds quite rapid and from one end of healthy to another. They might be worried you’re ill! More likely, they haven’t noticed (people can be incredibly unobservant) or are simply being polite.

as a PP has said, i also lost 1.5st in June, but haven't really changed clothes size yet. things feel a little looser but not much at all. so no one has said anything to me. which i am fine about, because i am doing this for me and no one else really.

Dh's cousin came over from Canada in the autumn. She was absolutely skinny for her age and size ( uk size 6) compared to the last time we saw her two summers ago when we all met up in Poland for our family reunion. She was at least an 18, she was bigger than me and I was 16/18 at the time.
No one mentioned it. We all thought she was ill. There turned out there was a reason for it but she hadn't lost weight for wanting to.
We are glad we didn't say anything and she brought it up on her own time with no pressure.
People lose weight for all sorts if reasons, not necessarily good ones.

I once complimented someone on their extreme weight loss and she said she'd had some kind of stomach problem and almost died!!!! So...... I don't comment anymore after that mistake. People might have worried about saying something in case it turned out you were ill. I also find nowadays with WLIs that weight loss is more common, so perhaps that could contribute at well. I really wouldn't worry about it as it only really matters what you think.

They’ve probably had to listen all about it for weeks … and witness how less she’s eating at lunch time.

OP did you lose weight for you or to impress everyone else?!?

I would NEVER comment on someone's weight loss, just as I would never comment on someone's weight gain. Even a best friend or a sister.

What’s really obvious to you just won’t register in the same way to other people.

My DH lost 30kg a couple of years ago. Most people haven't said anything - but then a lot of his friends and family are overseas and so they don't see him very often. In a way, it's nice that people thought he looked this good before!

I'm sure going from 10st to 8st on a 5'2" body is very noticeable, but it just goes to show that most people really don't scrutinise and critique other people's bodies and that's a GOOD thing!

I don’t believe a weight loss or a weight gain should be commented upon and presumably many in your family agree. Your colleagues need to get some more HR training.

i think it’s important to mention these things. this is why i always comment when my bf gains weight, he loves the attention!

I think commenting at all has basically become taboo. I never comment, ever.