AIBU to feel hurt that family did not notice my weight loss?

I absolutely bloody hate it when people make comments such as this: ‘no hard work involved’ because a GLP1 is involved.

It perpetuates the myth that using GLP1 is as easy as jabbing and then you wait for the magic to happen. They aren’t magic and do require hard work if you’re using them correctly.

I’ve been on one for 16months and have absolutely worked my arse off to lose 10.5 stone.

As to OP’s point. I can count on one hand the number of people that have commented on my loss (including family), people just don’t notice stuff and if they do, they don’t feel comfortable asking.

OP I’m sure you look amazing but to most people you were already small so being very slightly smaller probably won’t register with them

I wouldn't comment. Just as I wouldnt comment on weight gain. Its impolite. Also weight gain/loss can happen for reasons outside someone's control (I have both gained lots of weight and lost lots of weight as side effects of medication)

I think it's a sensitive subject and sometimes you won't get it right so a lot of people will tend to not say or take what you say as a guide.

It can be an indicator of being unwell or often I am not too sure and asking if someone hasn't can be awkward. Even the comment of someone looking well can be misconstrued.

Whilst people do sometimes like it to be noted, there are plenty of people who feel as though their worth to others is tied up in how they look and that is a hard thing to reconcile even when you have.lost weighy. Personally I would rather people not mention it.

If you want people to mention it, you might need to mention your new love of a daily walk or health kick

I would absolutely never comment on someone’s weight. And I have actually lost a similar amount to you lately (on wegovy, no hard work involved). I would be quite offended if anyone commented on it! My mum makes comments like “oooh I hope you’re eating enough” which is obviously a roundabout way of getting at it, and I find it cringe.

I think etiquette is to not comment on weight. It’s not always noticeable for a few stone depending on height. I lost 5 stone and it wasn’t until end that people may tentatively say I was looking well and then if I said I’d been on diet would speak about it. So you need to go first if you see what I mean.

I wonder it it’s a generational thing? Id be so offended and hate skinny being seen as a positive.

They noticed and didnt want to say because they dont want you to think they care how much you weigh and that theyve been staring at and judging your body. I remember when I lost a bit of weight and I was so glad my friends didnt say anything or care. My mil didn’t shut up about it and made comments like “you look so much better” and “I can see it off your stomach.” Made me feel so self conscious and even worse when I put thr weight back on. I would never comment.

I agree with you.

I was 5’4, weight 101 kg and am now 70kg

nobody noticed until I’d lost 3st - which is crap cos losing 1.5stone is really hard.

fwiw, my dh adult kids have not so much as said a peep about the fact that I’ve gone from obese to slim. Not said anything about how I look or anything.

it doesn’t fundamentally matter what they think though love, this weight loss is yours, it’s for you, for your health and wellbeing and how you look

external validation is an empty vessel. Be proud of yourself

I lost some weight. My colleague’s husband met me for the first time and described me as being ‘skinny as a rake’. I was absolutely thrilled.

There’s a scene in Motherland when Liz says to Amanda, ‘you look dangerously thin!’ and Amanda says ‘aw, thank you’. That’d be me 😂

My mum lost 4 stone in 6 months. I don't live close so hadn't seen her i in between. I didn't have the option not to comment as it was all she could talk about. If she hadn't said anything I'm not sure how I would have broached it because I thought she looked really unwell and about ten years older.

I wore braces for 4 years only about three people noticed when they came off (none of whom were my husband or children!) and most other people said they didn't think there was anything wrong with my teeth beforehand. Until I showed them the before and after pictures. They were quite shocked. Like others have said it is amazing what other people do not notice. It might be that people hadn't paid much attention to your weight before you lost it either. As long as you feel good that's all that matters.

I would never comment unless they mentioned it first.

This.

If you wouldn’t comment on it going on, and you shouldn’t, don’t comment on it coming off, unless the person whose body it is clearly signals they would like it.

I’ve lost almost seven stone and my family haven’t commented, except my Dad tentatively asked if I’d lost weight and then said…I’m not saying you needed to! It’s hard for people as they don’t want to offend.

congrats on your weight loss. It’s not easy!

I don’t comment on people’s bodies, it’s none of my business. If they want to talk to me about their bodies, I will let them bring it up.

Loads of people complimented me on my weight loss when I was first diagnosed with a life changing neurological condition and suffered massive muscle wastage. I wish they had minded their own business as well.

I lost 7 stone last year with MJ and honestly people really didn't notice yntil 3 or 4 stone in. 1 and a half stone is great but overall people might not notice right away!

Weight loss can be caused by so many things. Could be illness, could be an ED. I would never risk commenting on weight. Congratulations though and it’s great that you feel well.

Unfortunately, when you’re getting down to around 8 stones or less a lot of people will become critical, thinking you ‘looked better before’ or are too thin. Possibly, this is what they were thinking so didn’t want to say anything (I’ve definitely had this.)

Yes, exactly. And some people are complete nutters about weight loss. I had to point out to one person who kept telling me I looked great and had lost so much weight that it was because I had cancer, and she still kept saying ‘Well it suits you!’

Depends on your size and how you carry your weight I think. They may not have realised you were so much better if you dressed to hide it and didn’t carry weight on your face ?

I personally wouldn't comment on that level of weight loss.

You weren't big to start with, and although I'm sure you look great and you've done really well to get to a point where you're happy, it's not a dramatic transformation to other people. It's the kind of weight loss where someone who hadn't seen you for a while might think 'Oh, she's looking good' without really registering why.

A lot of people are afraid to mention weight these days.

Ive lost 5.5 stone and find that people know where I live in Scotland will happily exclaim and congratulate to me.

But when I go down south for work -
no one says a word unless they are aged 50 and above.

Well done from me!

They may have been avoiding mentioning it as its too rude/personal/a sensitive subject.

Or they may be unobservant and self absorbed and not noticed.

I have to say that unless someone loses absolutely loads of weight sometimes people don't really notice. I'm trying to drop half a stone at the moment and I'll be delighted if I get there and I will be able to tell the difference in the fit of my clothes etc. But I doubt anyone else will notice or care.

The other thing that occurred to me is - are you a yoyo dieter whose weight goes up and down? They may have forgotten since last seeing you what your weight was last time? My mum fluctuated between size 18 and size 10. She'd diet fiercely for a few months and be really slim then gradually put it all back. One day a family friend was visiting after a couple of years and mum was size 10 and thrilled at the thought of surprising her. But she didn't even register. Mum was really disappointed but the friend told me later that she thought mum had been in a slim phase when she last saw her, so seeing her slim again was no surprise.

Do your family know you’ve worked hard and were trying for weight loss?
I wouldn’t say anything about anyone’s weight (especially someone that wasn’t that big before). You never know what people are going through and not everyone wants to talk about their weight loss. If you mentioned it and I thought you looked great and could tell, then I would obviously say you look great.