AIBU to feel hurt that family did not notice my weight loss?

Yes, that’s exactly the right thing to say. I have lost a significant amount this year and have heard it all! Most people have said nothing at all - these are mainly colleagues, particularly male colleagues and those higher up. Friends and family have been with me all the way and some colleagues have been either quietly supportive with the odd comment or loudly supportive, wanting all the gossip! But the best comment was a colleague who told me I was looking well - it complemented me without specific reference to my weight but also opened the door to discussion if I wanted to go there. I didn’t - we just smiled knowingly at each other other.

I have to say, it feels more important as I lose more to say less. I am still the same person on the inside. My morals, values, likes and dislikes are the same. I don’t feel somehow ‘better’ with less weight on me, I still feel like….me. I don’t want to be friends with those who avoided me before but who now seem to expect me to tell them my life story. No. Just no.

So many people are in the jabs now, so it does just feel different to comment

Why not at least read rhe ops comments, she is five foot 2 and it was over weight.

This. 10st is quite slim unless you are short statured.

I didn’t comment on a friend’s weight loss once because they looked unwell and I was worried about putting my foot in it.

Some people take the view that’s it’s impolite to comment on weight loss or weight gain.
Your weight is your business. You shouldn’t look for affirmation on this issue because it can have negative affects ( eg trigger eating disorders) if there is too much chat about how brilliant someone looks because “they’ve lost weight” .
Better for others just to say “you look great “ and not comment on your weight loss .

Jealous x

I can’t tell looking at photos of myself or in a mirror when I’ve lost a stone. I regularly put on and lose a stone (not healthy I know) but I don’t think it’s as noticeable as you think.

To be honest if you lost significant weight like that in a 7-8 week period I would assume you had been using the jab, so I wouldn't be congratulating you on that. I am also 5"2 trying to loose a stone or 2 and it just isn't as easy as you say. I play netball 3 times a week, have 2 small children, am active and eating well. Kindly I just don't think you have lost weight by eating better and walking. So in short, if I saw you I would assume you had been injecting and to be honest I don't think that deserves a congratulations. Loosing that much weight quickly often doesn't look great immediately, your face will probably look sunken based on what you have said. Well done on the weight loss - perhaps focus on that.

I never mention anyone’s weight. It is rude.

I think people are funny around weight loss, and dont want to offend. If it helps, I've lost 2.5 stone since I had my baby, my mil asked me if I was still going to the gym and was it actually working for me🙄😅

I just brush away those comments, the fact is, people have told you look good and you know it too. Keep up the great work

This just reminds me of the Peter Kay routine about “losing 14 stone in a DAY!”

Big losses are common in the first few weeks. I’ve never heard that big, but it is usual to lose lots of weight at first as your body drops water weight and there’s obviously a huge calorie reduction from cutting out take aways and full fat drinks.

It’s after that initial loss it gets much (much) harder to get off and keep off.

About 18 stone and wears baggy clothes. I didn’t have a clue but was very complimentary when I was told!

I assume she was absolutely huge because that’s the only way you wouldn’t notice. Although saying that, I know someone who was convinced they were 9.7 stone on weight loss pills from the doctor, told everyone she’d lost 5 stone, went to the docs and after telling him she felt great she was now 9.7 and she’s lost 5 stone, he weighed her and she was, in fact 11.7st, I’m cringing here picturing this whole scenario again lol Turns out she bought some dodgy scales off Temu that were lying to her 🫣 She said I couldn’t understand how I was still so much bigger than everyone else who was 9+ stone!!

OP very well done, years ago my partner went from 17st to 14st in 3 weeks, it’s absolutely doable, done him no harm whatsoever, he’s still healthy now so the rapid weight loss didn’t effect him in the slightest, he lost a further 2.7st in the following 3 weeks after that so in 6 weeks he’d 5 1/2 stone off him, this was YEARS before weight loss injections were ever a thing and not a pill or bit of exercise did he do. He just went from drinking cans of coke and bottles of lucozade daily and eating greasy takeaways almost every day along with sweets crisps chocolate biscuits etc to cutting it all out totally and drinking litres of water daily and cutting most carbs to eating just steak, chicken, veg, salads, fruit etc so I know it’s possible without help, well done and I know the family noticed but some would be jealous and others maybe in fear of saying anything incase something was wrong.

“Omg, now you’ve lost weight you look amazing!”
means…
“you looked like a bag of shit before.”

How is that a compliment? I never understand why people gush and glow over weight loss ‘compliments’ - they’re such a blatant insult to how you looked before.

They probably didn't notice, my mum didn't notice when I lost 3 stone/2 dress sizes (12 stone down to 9). It wasn't politeness, she genuinely couldn't see it. It's not until you've lost quite a huge amount that most people twig. Just be proud of yourself, who cares what other people think - you know you're healthier and happier and that's all that matters.

As someone else whose drastic weight loss was down to cancer, it shouldn’t be a subject up for discussion. Especially as people continuing to comment positively once they knew it was cancer just showed me how distorted and frankly fucked up some people’s ideas about weight are. I mean, I didn’t look good by any stretch of the imagination!

But that’s true, isn’t it? If someone needed to lose weight, they’re going to look better if they lose it. I don’t think people would say it to a thin person who lost weight and didn’t need to.

I gave up commenting on anyone’s weight when my best friend went through an eating disorder when we were teenagers. I honestly can’t see the point in saying “have you lost weight, you look great?”and trying to equate those two things. Whenever I’ve had it said to me it just makes me assume they thought I looked fat and shit before so I’d honestly rather not mention it and I think many people are the same.

Only exception is if I know someone has been making a concerted effort to get healthier and they look more toned etc I would say well done.

Have to say it’s the same in reverse - when I was pregnant I didn’t mention it to most people for about 6 -7 months and presumably many just assumed I’d got massively more overweight but also didn’t say anything. Thank goodness.

Oh, I really laughed at that Motherland scene!

But I think people are steering away from commenting on weight loss, and rightly. It's only appropriate if the person has already told you they are trying to lose weight.

This. I never comment on someone's weight unless they specifically tell me they have deliberately lost weight.

Only a numpty comments on someone's body.

Don't worry about anyone else - you know you've done it 🔥

Thank you! I have a friend and whenever she loses weight I worry.