AIBU to feel hurt that family did not notice my weight loss?

I lost that amount of weight a few years ago, unintentionally through illness and subsequent stress. I am glad no-one commented on it.

Yeah because you were already slim 🙄

Anyway most of the comments have said its rude to comment on someone’s weight so you have your answer and can be thankful your family are nice people.

Not mentioning your weight? Your family sounds very astute.

To be honest I found that I became much happier when I committed to entering into conversations about weight as little as possible - there’s something so depressing about a group of (usually) women sitting around talking about how they’re going to start their diet tomorrow/they’ve been so naughty this week/they need to get beach-body ready. There are so many more interesting things to talk about!

Hear bloody hear!

Commenting on anyone's weight is rude and I'd never do it unprompted. In most cases I genuinely don't think I'd notice. I'm not in the habit of paying undue attention to my friends' bodies.

I don't weigh myself but I'm sure I've lost weight this month (at least my abs are more visible). That's because I'm between root canal procedures and terrified of eating hard food. Subsisting on yoghurt and gazpacho for the past month is neither an accomplishment nor something I'm happy about.

I also don't really think weight is either positive or negative. It's not the same as fitness or exercise. If a friend is proud because she broke her personal best time for running 10k then that is something to celebrate. I think we should be getting away from weight as any sort of arbiter of value.

A word of advice OP: you're asking the wrong crowd. Most of Mumsnet think that commenting in any way on anyone's weight, even if it is to say 'wow you look fantastic well done' is a cardinal sin.

back in the real world, I'm with you, if you've lost a much as two stone it must be visible and people are either not commenting out of fear (see above) or jealousy.

Well done on your huge achievement xx

I heard a saying that’s says the first stone nobody notices, the second stone you notice and the third stone everyone notices and this has been my exact experience.

I'm similar build and weight. It is possible. Not everyone is the same or can manage their intake as well as they think they can!

I always tell my kids “never talk about other peoples’ bodies” so I would hope they wouldn’t comment on weight loss

I think people sometime are worried they may offend. I lost 20kg after giving birth to last baby and people did comment lots but I think they were confident that i lost my pregnancy weight rather than it s an illness or stress etc.

Firstly, well done on the weight loss, it’s an amazing achievement and be proud. I can speak from experience of people not noticing my weight loss. I’ve lost 3 stone and only 1-2 people have mentioned it in the last 12 months. Yes, it’s made me feel like all my efforts have gone unnoticed but I can see a difference and feel better for it. I lost the weight for me! I have given up on others who haven’t noticed or haven’t mentioned it, as they aren’t important.

What’s important is the weight you’ve lost and how good it’s making you feel, embrace it. You’ve worked hard on yourself and your own wellbeing, and that is something to be proud of and to celebrate, even if it is alone.

Absolutely identify and agree with this

I hate it when people tell me I’ve lost weight. My BMI generally hovers around the 26/27 mark and I’d like to lose a stone or two if I could do so in a healthy way. But every time I’ve lost a noticeable amount of weight over the last few years it’s been because of severe stress/anxiety that literally shuts down my (normally very healthy) appetite. So someone saying ‘gosh you’ve lost weight!’ is of course well intended but it just reminds me of the physical toll of my mental state on my body.

Once or twice I’ve even had people say things like ‘well at least that’s one bright side!’ Like being so ill that you can’t eat is a good thing if it helps you lose a few pounds. Depressing!

It can also make you feel like your normal pre-weight-loss body isn’t OK, which just makes you feel more shit about yourself.

I have a personal policy of not commenting on anyone else’s weight, ever. If they tell me they’ve actively been trying to lose weight then I’ll say something like ‘well done you’ve worked really hard’. To be honest I found that I became much happier when I committed to entering into conversations about weight as little as possible - there’s something so depressing about a group of (usually) women sitting around talking about how they’re going to start their diet tomorrow/they’ve been so naughty this week/they need to get beach-body ready. There are so many more interesting things to talk about!

I don’t comment on peoples weight at alll because you never know why people are lighter or heavier, sometimes losing weight can be a bad thing (e.g. mental health related) so I just err on safe side and don’t mention it. Perhaps they are the same.

How ridiculous. I agree that loads of people are on the jabs, but if I was tracking/restricting my calories and upping my activity levels (and doing it properly) I could lose that weight in two months (and have done in the past)

People don’t all have the same metabolism, and some people’s idea of eating well isn’t actually that great. I know people that claim to be watching their diet and I still see them snacking on junk/drinking too much alcohol. You have to be honest with yourself and track everything properly/be in calorie deficit (I’m not saying it’s easy btw!)

I’d never dream of mentioning someone’s weight loss unless they’d made it clear they were trying to lose weight.

I might notice it, but inwardly I’d be thinking “if I mention it, they’ll think I thought they were fat before”. So I expect they were just being polite.

I think people are less likely to comment on weight loss when you weren’t fat to begin with.

Yes, a BMI might say overweight, but very few people look fat or obese at 10 stone.

Looking like you have weight to lose is probably reserved for the obese, the real big folk (like me 😂) and I’d assume that if my 9st best friend lost the weight I have, she wouldn’t get a congratulations. Or even a response.

She didn’t have the fat stigma to begin with.

You cannot possibly be naive enough to believe all the people using the jabs are prescribed them by legitimate doctors! Every other dodgy online site is peddling them plus some very questionable social media salespeople! I have a colleague who wanted to go from a size 10 to an 8 post-baby and managed to get hold of them!

I never comment on people’s weight loss or weight gain

I would feel deflated too. I imagine it’s pretty obvious that you’ve lost weight going from a size 12 to an 8.

The only thing I can think of is that they think you look too thin? You would still expect people to comment on your weight loss though.

Congratulations on your weight loss! It's really rude to comment on people's weight. You don't know if they are unwell, going through a trauma etc... don't take it personally!

Two friends of mine were complimented on weight loss shortly before they died. My millennial relatives have also re-educated the whole family into not commenting on others’ bodies and that’s a good thing. They’ve even convinced elderly aunts that it’s shallow to assess others’ appearances and that weight/appearance can fluctuate due to health.

I never mention weight gain or loss. I was taught that it was rude. Did they say you look well? That’s the euphemism.

If it makes you feel better, a few people have recently asked me - as opposed to stated- if I’ve lost weight. I’ve lost 7 1/2 stone!